I really wanted to like this story. But the story had been way too inconsistency and character flaws for me to continue. So, I’ll give a long review of the chapters I’ve read.

I just can’t get over the fact that you introduced an Outer God to your story as your antagonist.
I wouldn’t have been so bothered by it if he at least acted like an outer god. Instead, he acts like a horny and emo teenager. He gets moody because Edward talks to Bella, he gets flustered when Bella talks to him. What kind of god is he?

In the mythos, outer gods were supposed to be nigh omnipotent beings who didn’t care for humanity. Heck, most of them didn’t even perceive our existence because humanity is insignificant to them. They were truly larger-than-life beings that nobody could understand.

But here he’s just an overpowered OC who’s character changes regularly to fit the narrative. What is the point of him visiting the town? Why is he so attracted to Bella? Why is a nigh omnipotent being getting irritated by watching two mere mortals flirting. I think he was just introduced because Naruto would be too OP in Twilight‘s setting.

And Naruto is just as boring as the rest of them, he’s not even a character (At least, from the chapters I’ve read). He’s just a piece of cardboard that wanders around the Cullens to move the story forward. He’s not even in the story much. And why is he so weak anyway? He went from a snotty nosed brat to a goddess killing machine in less than 10 years of training. But here, after hundreds of years, he’s still basically the same. Did he not train in this time? Did he just give up because there wasn’t any enemies? That’s kind of dumb and irresponsible.

Also, most of the story focuses on the OC and his conversations with others. And yet, I learned nothing about him except what he is. I’m pretty sure if we skip his conversations with Mike, it would make no significant change to the story. It’s just a waste of time reading it.

One more problem is that there are too many characters. It would be great if the writer could use them all coherently. But, you won’t find it here.

My final thoughts. It had a good start and went downhill from there.

Great update like usual

Naruto would've been utterly overpowered in this universe. I like how you just straight up pulled outer gods in there to make it more interesting.

For such a good story idea you literally can not control the flow of how you are. writing. Literally jumping around events with as little detail as possible along with making throwing random power creeps everywhere. The cherry on top has to be how dumb you make Naruto in this story

yep im done, cant follow all these hp lovecraft stuffs

naruto so weak

i really really dont like alex. came to read about naruto not some random guy

I find myself skimming through your story more and more as you continue to throw "stuff" at us. This was a good story initially, but you just keep introducing more and more characters and other junk that don't really further the story (at least an interesting story). This story seems so lost now.

Take care and thanks for sharing...

Great chapter and I like at the end you had naruto use Genjutsu to mes with eve tones perspective.

I have been reading this story and I had got to this chapter, and sough about 1/3rd the way down about the punishment for the internet trolls. Very immusing, you are the first author I have seen to take action like that again them. Good one

I cant even being myself to continue reading this. it was going fine until you brought all of this shit into it

Okay I was willing to go with nerfing Naruto even though he has the juubi in him. But then you introduce HP Lovecraft creatures and gods I mean, that's just nonsensical and then you make them stronger than the juubi. And now after all this and that Naruto has power from both one of the Gods and the demigod Alex and you making it seem like a little weakling Again by having some random vampire and his chump Pals somehow being able to remove the juubi without being near it. I'm not sure I'll have the heart to read the finale whenever it may come out. I enjoyed the parts in between . like naruto and leah ( not hinata , hate her ) and he seemed to kinda fit into the twilight world. You worded this pretty good too. Better than i ever could

It's moments like this that remind me about the fact that this story is fanfic lol naruto getting beaten by the retarded? Definitely a fanfic that won't go anywhere from this

Wow so I realized that I really don't like the lovecraft at all

I like how you did Naruto and Bella personality wise, but this story really suffers once the new characters come in.