Interesting heartfelt story, loved the comparison between the two. Though the ending felt a little odd, like it's sloppily done. Doesn't have the same level of imagery and narration, or at least that's how I felt

Oh wow, this was beautiful. Just... really, your writing style is really beautiful. I love the images you paint with your words, I love the interactions between the characters, and I love the characters. They felt completely in character, you don't need to worry about that. And the similarities between Ponyta and Paul were great haha, it was funny to see Paul turn up at that exact moment :P My romantic mind thought at first, when you wrote 'white dress flowing' that Dawn was getting married haha. The appeal fits way better, though. Also made me realize that Dawn in a white dress and with her blue hair fits perfectly with the shiny Ponyta, with its blue flames. I don't know if you did that on purpose, but it's a great image anyway XD
Thank you for writing this, I very much enjoyed this new take on IkariShipping, and keep writing! ! !

This is so cool. I love the way it's written. The words flow so smoothly. I also really like the line" Dawn locked eyes with her newest problem. 'Sleep powder.'" It was so intense lol. The way the Ponyta is written is perfect for this situation.

You said "two pairs of badly hurt front legs." Do you mean one pair of front legs?

You know, this Ponyta is starting to remind me of Paul!
Oh wait LOL. Well, good job for communicating that!

OMG PAUL. He was right there wow.
Aww I really liked Dawn's reaction to seeing Paul. And then Paul and the Ponyta sizing each other up. It was pretty funny.

The interaction between Paul and Dawn as they were talking about traveling was perfectly in character.

The "Smoke reached for the stars" paragraph was so poetic I had to read it twice.

Aww what a cute ending. And Paul was definitely not out of character in the slightest. His little smiles were really cute. Don't even worry about it!

I really liked this one!

Wow awesome chapter... It is kind of friendshippy... But I like it...