Ooh, I didn't read your first installment, but I must say this prologue has really drawn me in. The narration style is done really well and I love how you've represented Nathan in this. I can't wait for more :)

MOOREEE MORE MORE MORE

Please update I might die

I love this fic, and I think you've represented
the characters perfectly. I'm very interested in watching Victoria slowly gain feelings for Max, and watching her guilt develop and their relationship flourish as she tries to keep up a lie on two fronts. It's great so far :D

Are you kidding me, this was so well written. The story so far is satisfying and I did not find Max and Victoria out of character at all. So glad you portrayed them well, especially Max, her interaction with Victoria is spot on adorable haha. Cannot wait for the next update!

This is definitely interesting. Nathan might came up with the most ridiculous idea but the way you've written it fairly convinces me. Cannot wait to see what's in store next!

Hmm.
Update soon!

Whoaaa im digging this ! Good shit good shit

Nicesu!

Oh man,I can't wait to see what happens next!
I don't think Victoria and Max are ooc at all,in fact I think you've done a really good job with writing them.

Loving this book so far keep up the amazing work :)

Awesome! Keep it up.

I... well frankly I'm not really one to talk in this sense, but I do feel as though you've made Victoria a lil bit more detached than how most people portray her. Which I enjoy, of course, I like different things, but her sorta muted response to Kate's attempted suicide in this case seems a little *too* conflicting with what the game (and fans) have led me to believe?

Other than that though, I quite enjoy reading things from her perspective. Everything has a more 'muted' feel to it through her eyes and she spends a little more time on analysis, keeping a calm and cold demeanor I guess.

I almost would've preferred if you'd set this before Kate's suicide attempt I guess for that matter, but I suppose you needed something to push Nathan-

-and speaking of that, I was a little dubious about how you were setting up the plan, but I think you've done a good job going through the stages of planning such an elaborate scheme in the Prologue.

Aside from that, the only thing that kinda bothers me is that in this chapter you've repeated yourself almost word-for-word on a couple thoughts/concepts- 'groaned inwardly' for example happens two times in a fairly short span of time- I think there may have been something else that I felt was actually fairly significant, possibly Victoria reflecting on the overly complex nature of Nathan's plan, but I guess with something that convoluted it would make sense that she might go over it a couple more times.

One thing I didn't reeeaaally appreciate was how Max was already sorta catching onto it (that might've been the other thing I was thinking about, the whole 'Max is/is not ignorant' observation being brought up multiple times) - but I guess she explained it well enough, I just think it might've been pulled off a little more smoothly if didn't express her doubts in such a straightforward manner? Eh, idk

Something I am interested in, do you actually have a rough outline sketched out for the story or do you sorta plan on winging it? I'm just curious since you're playing with what seems to be a plot which would require somewhat lengthy development in Victoria so I was wondering if you've planned out key 'moments' or 'catalysts' that would help move that along?

Good chapter! I don't think the characters were OOC, I quite like how you've done them. The chapter length is pretty nice as well, and the story is interesting. Looking forward to the next chapter!

Continue. Please. Omg. Please!