Will you pretty please with a naked Severus on top make a sequel?

Love it!

great so far!

love this story please update soon

good

Ah so cute.

G9d is that all they care about

This story has a lot of potential but if you want it to be the best story it can be, there's a lot of work you need to do.
I like your ideas
I like the way you write your story has potential
but... (and I don't mean any personal offence by this)
you have a LOT to learn about writing stories... and one of the most critical things you need to learn is how to ORGANISE your ideas.
This is written as if it's a film, it's paced too quickly, there are some typos and spelling errors.
I am not an expert I do not pretend to be an expert (how could a special needs person like me be an expert in anything? that's an oxymoron) but I do have experience, you can take my advice with a pinch of salt, you can report or block me or you can feel free to chew me out.

things you should consider doing...
1 going back to the beginning of your story, re-reading it, taking notes and forming a proper plan from those notes using the method I use (I mostly use it for National Novel Writing Month)
SECTION 1 UNORGANISED NOTES - these are notes based on the idea, on the concept...
SECTION 2 ORGANISE NOTES PART 1 3 HEADINGS the 3 headings are beginning, middle, ending. the events that happen in the beginning, go under the heading beginning, the events that happen in the middle go under the heading middle the events that happen at the end of the story go under the heading ending. it's a good idea to actually do this on paper. I know it seems like a lot of work but trust me it definitely helps...
SECTION 3 ORGANISE NOTES PART 2 CHAPTERS
if you're writing a novel you need to take the ideas from the 3 headings part before, and you need to put them under chapter headings... if you're writing a short story change chapters to paragraphs.
SECTION 4 SYNOPSIS/NOVEL PURPOSE
write your story's synopsis and the purpose of the story. (I added this part to the plan for NaNoWriMo in November because the project I'm doing is personal)
SECTION 5 CRITICAL PRACTISE AREAS
in this case, since this isn't for NaNoWriMo, I would practise, writing in the moment, writing violence, death and love scenes (violence I can do standing on my head, love scenes and death scenes however... are two areas I absolutely struggle with) remember, practise makes progress.
SECTION 6 CONTENTS PAGE
write out a contents page, again this helps with organising.
SECTION 7 FURTHER PRACTISE EVENTS
if you have come across any bits at the beginning of this process where you realise that you've written something that needs some work, this is the time to practise it.
SECTION 8 NEW AREAS TO EXPLORE
again while you're reviewing if you come up with new ideas, this is the place to list them.
SECTION 9 FULL SCHEDULE
it's a good idea to make a schedule of what you need to do, work or school commitments, hobbies, other commitments and then schedule your writing time accordingly.
2 rewriting this story based on your plan.

things you need to fix
the "way" the story is written: like I said it is written a bit like a film, most novels don't have that kind of pace.
spelling/typos and grammar: it's a little off putting to read stories that have words copied from the source books...

Don't give up writing, you have a lot of talent.

Awesome chapter please update soon

cool update soon thanks

Liked it

Great chapter update soon

Aw that would make a cute picture. Update soon! ships and smutt -Angy

Yay Bella!

Good story. Can't wait for an update.