This is the first HP crossover fic I have ever read. Mostly because I'm not brave enough to read them, but this was interesting! I liked that it was so short so it didn't actually feel like two universes that would never cross merging together *shudders* and the only nitpick I had was that the language is too flowery and too close to purple prose. Most of the sentences were awkward and barely made complete sense for that reason. Maybe if you just tone it down a notch, it would flow really well. Otherwise I found the concept really fascinating. Great job!

Death Note and HP! What an interesting idea for a crossover.

Barty and Light seems like and odd pairing but when I think about it, Light is the type of leader Barty would follow so it makes sense.

This is beautifully written, almost like poetry. I love the opening line!

It sounds like Light literally became God in this world. Was Barty killing actual demons or the shinigami?

Wow, this is a really well written piece. I liked the lyrical flow of the words, so beautiful and so dark. And the imagery was really poignant too, adding to the flowing words. I can feel the spiritual tone of the story - the execution of the guilty done in a light righteous manner. Truly beautiful. :)

This is such an interesting concept, and so well written. I've never read a Harry Potter Death Note crossover before, so I was really curious to see where you'd go with it (I have to admit, that was the main reason I read it), and I was not disappointed,

The imagery here is simply amazing, and Barty's characterisation is perfect. I love how devoted he is to Light; it parallels the lengths he was willing to go to for Voldemort. I really liked the ending; how he only seemed to care that he was successful in his job because it was what Light wanted. And the imagery with the scythe was hauntingly beautiful.

I don't usually read crossovers but this one had an interesting summary. I think you chose the character well, Barty was certainly devoted to Voldemort, he probably would have been devoted to Light as well if Light had been the "Dark Lord". The images you built were very vivid. I do think, however, the fic could have been slightly longer.

Overall great job!

This is an interesting little scene. So in this world, Light literally became God and Barty is slaying demons that crawled out from hell at night, in order to protect the world that Light rules?

Barty standing over the bodies of the demons with the scythe dripping black blood is a powerful image, and very well described.

Dark masterpiece. Those are the first words that come to mind when I read this. And yay! You wrote another Barty and Light story. I was in hopes you'd write more of these.

This sounds like a battle taking place at the gates of the underworld, and Barty has become a warrior for Light, serving him on his quest.

I like seeing Barty in this place of power beside Light, fighting for their cause. He seems to have finally found a place where he can be happy and succeed, a better place for him than when he served Voldemort.

I have to admit, I've never considered a Death Note/HP crossover, so I found this idea really interesting right from the start.

I really like your descriptions in this. You paint a really vivid picture of what's going on here, and the descriptions are really grotesque but so wonderfully draw me in and make me want to read more at the same time.

The idea of fighting demons is interesting, but that's neither from Death Note nor Harry Potter, and most common folklore doesn't have demons burning in the light of the sun, so I was sort of left wondering where this is set and if it maybe involves a third fandom or borrows ideas from something specific?

I love the idea of Barty as a warrior fighting for someone else, since that's really who he is in HP, right? He's easily persuaded to join Voldy's side. Let's face it, Light is 20 times more persuasive than Voldy, so of course Barty would join him. I love that you've really set the scene, though, if Light had triumphed and become, essentially, God, ruling the world. It makes me wonder where the demons come from, though, and if someone more powerful is trying to usurp his claim.

SPaG:
[sharp curved teeth] - sharp, curved teeth