Reviews for Harry Potter and the Serpents Within
Guest chapter 3 . 7/5
I look forward to what happens next. I genuinely love this story and hoping that you may find the passion for this once again.
Esmereilda chapter 3 . 4/6
I look forward to seeing what happens next
Esmereilda chapter 1 . 4/6
good thing harry gave that trunk to Malfoy after they became friends
the real narnia chapter 3 . 1/27
this is amazing and I love it! I honestly thought that Harry would try and use the stone to create golems for his parents, and try healing Alice and Frank. I love their whole group, and I can see Sirius holding on to one of their trunks so the others can visit for animagus sessions. the close relationships with poppy and hagrid are adorable, and im really glad you included the twins even though they're so much older. I love when they're great brothers to Harry, and he can tell them apart. im glad you're also throwing in Luna, though im surprised that Cedric didn't join the group by the end of first year. I really really love what Harry did to save Marcusits one of my favorite parts. Im surprised harry didn't try letting siri or remus into his mind to meet his parentsthey should be able to interact, right? and them creating a habitat for the dragon is sooooooooo adorable.
I really really love this premise, and I can't wait for Lily and James to get actual bodies again. (And for other people to react to them) I'm really looking forward to the next chapter and I hope you update soon ! happy writing!ps. if you're still looking for HP tattoo ideas, how about the deathly Hallows symbol?
Axel Alex chapter 3 . 1/19
j'adore ..; la suite please
jennyBloom chapter 3 . 8/7/2019
can you please upload more chapters please
gginsc chapter 3 . 3/27/2019
No update since July 2018! I hope I don't have to wait another almost three years!
David305 chapter 3 . 3/2/2019
I'm enjoying your story!
You have an ongoing grammar error that you would do well to know about. Just this week, I heard a member of Congress make the same error, so you're in good company! (Civilians don't need to be fussy about grammar; but writers do.) It's about pronoun cases.
Latin and some other languages (e.g. Sanskrit, German, Russian) not only conjugate verbs, but also decline nouns, pronouns and adjectives into cases. Old English used to have some of this declension of nouns, but in Modern English it only survives in pronouns: different cases for nominative (aka subjective), objective, possessive and reflexive. Back when we had sentence diagramming in English classes, it could easily be made clear - even using colored chalk on the blackboard - which case was appropriate; but nowadays, people just guess, or copy others, or repeat habitual errors, and it gets shrugged off as "good enough." Here's an example of this surprisingly common grammatical error:
"...books that had helped he, James and Pettigrew..."
Here's how the error begins:
Little Johnny asks, "Can Billy and me go out and play?" Parent or teacher arches eyebrows, and says: "It's not Billy and ME, it's Billy and _I_!" Unfortunately, the adult didn't properly explain why; but from then on, Johnny always uses the nominative case for a pronoun in compound with a noun or another pronoun. That's wrong. It's a fallacy of grammar. He's taken the wrong lesson from the correction, because no reason was given.
Some people always make a pronoun in compound nominative (as you do): Billy and I; he, James and Pettigrew. Some people always make them objective: Billy and me; him, James and Pettigrew. But the rule is not either of those; the rule is that you must use the same case you would have used if the pronoun were single, and not in combination. In normal speech, would you say, "books that helped he"? Or "Can me go out and play?" Of course not. You know right away that this sounds wrong. Take away the compound nouns or pronouns, and the right case becomes obvious. In these instances, the correct object of the verb Helped is Him. It can't be He. The correct subject of the verb Can is I. It can't be Me.
Here's the rule: I, he, she, we, they and who are subjects; me, him, her, us, them and whom are objects. Treat them that way, regardless of any other nouns or pronouns they're compounded with. (You and It don't vary; though the archaic Thou was a subject, Thee was an object.) It is incorrect to use a subject pronoun as an object, or an object pronoun as a subject. Putting them in combination with other nouns or pronouns does not "magically" change their case.
BTW, the same rule applies to objects of a preposition as it does to objects of a verb. "She sent mail to Harry and I" and "That's between Mary and I" are wrong. "She sent mail to Harry and me" and "That's between Mary and me" are right. An object is an object.
This error was supposed to be corrected in middle school, but there are too many English teachers now who weren't taught sentence diagramming themselves, so even they may have picked up this bad habit. You won't lose marks till college English Composition classes, where the professor may look dimly on poor usage or grammar.
BTW, Myself or Himself, etc., are not merely more formal or fancy ways of saying I or He, Me or Him, etc. (People sometimes puff: "Myself and Roland have been invited for tea.") These words are reflexive: i.e., they have to reflect back on a subject. I think so myself; He did that to himself. But you can figure that out for yourself. g
Keep it up!
anielsen33326 chapter 3 . 2/10/2019
awww, you started writing a book long before me. No fair! Becoming a professional writer is MY dream, and it sounds like you inadvertently took it away from me. But at least you updated in time for late 2018, good news. I know the feeling.
Ginnylove9990 chapter 3 . 2/1/2019
Color purple is the movie
Just Jaine chapter 3 . 1/25/2019
I can’t wait for more even if it take a few years. I love the plot of the series.

Over all I think Harry is just a little too mature but it is justifiable given he has two adults in his head coaching him on what to say and do not to mention the damage the Dursley’s caused. I would love to see Harry start to embrace some of his childish impulses now that he has adults he can trust and no longer needs to act the adult when it comes to his welfare.

Again, I can’t wait for more.
APRTMJDNBPCOYKT4610 chapter 3 . 1/4/2019
I love this story! Please update soon.
Amazedby chapter 3 . 12/29/2018
Hi!
First I wanted to say THIS FIC IS AWESOME! I read trough the first part and these three chapters in half an hour and am craving for MORE! It's hard to find stuff that is written as well as a book and you must be so proud of your story. Keep up the great work,

A loving reader :)
gaschalk chapter 3 . 10/18/2018
I am glad you started writing this story again. I have over enjoyed to see you had started the second book after reading the first one. My wife recommended it to me and so I started to read it and could not stop. Now I am two days behind on my work. Oh me. Anyway keep writing I am enjoying your plot and story.

Thank you.
tec4cleveland chapter 3 . 10/14/2018
So glad to hear this will go forward. I'm curious as to who has the diary. I expect to hear that the Carrows were found tortured to death.

Looking forward to more as the muse moves you.
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