I loved the way you opened this fic - I was immediately drawn in by the descriptions and was curious about what Tom might be up to. I knew it wouldn't be anything good, though!
I wish you had explained, perhaps in your author's note, what Tom hissed to open the door. I assume a simple Alohomora wouldn't have sufficed, but I would love to know what he said. Same goes for the spell he used later on Louison.
Moving on to characterization, you did a wonderful job with that. Tom was cold and calculating and perfectly in character, although I was surprised that he was only 16 here and already so...evil. I thought maybe he would rely more on manipulation, but I suppose once Louison denied him the book, his rage took over. His dialogue was great - it gave me chills - and the image of him walking away from the burning building while singing happy birthday to himself is just the spookiest thing ever.
Aside from a few tiny grammatical errors, your writing is very clear and easy to read. I really enjoy this. Great job, Vivaria!

Again, I loved this story.

I liked it. Very much.:-)

I love it! A wonderful story.

I loved this story. Very much! And I usually don't read Sirius/ Hermione

16/20 - A (Acceptable)
Notes from Samantha:

This was a very good characterization of how a coma victim might feel. Although the coma angle isn't that original, you made the story more original by writing from the coma victim's perspective instead of the person watching the coma victim. The flow was a bit uneven and choppy, and the SPaG mistakes hurt it as well. There were some SPaG errors (missing words and missing/wrong punctuation) Great job of writing the task. I enjoyed the fact that I didn't know who the coma victim was or who the angel was. It made it more interesting.

17/20 - EE (Exceeds Expectations)
Notes from Fire:

I like how you took Ron and exposed him for how he really felt. Heck, I even like how you made Harry the supportive best friend that he's meant to be. What I don't - but probably should - like is how mature Ron is in the end. I don't know if it's simply because he has matured over the years, but it's vastly different from canon. Normally, he seems to be so self absorbed and self entitled. It's almost weird to see that he's acting mature. Although, that's purely my personal opinion. I won't take points for that because, who knows? Maybe Ron actually did grow up over the years?

As far as originality goes, I'm pretty sure that we can both say that you were a little safe with the prompt. While I think you could have done more, I won't lie and say that I didn't like what you did. I actually really did. It was a nice insight into Ron's insecurities.

Before we even get into the rest, can I stop and ask that you please stop putting your prompts in bold? It distracts the flow of the story. As this is your first assignment, I won't take any points off, but it's highly distracting.

Despite that, I think your story flowed nicely besides a couple of grammar mishaps here and there. While we have several problems here, I'd like to point them out individually. The majority of your problems seem to come in with wording and incorrect grammar.

While I understand that this is supposed to be a lighthearted story, you can't simply ignore the fact that the word 'stupidest' was used here. Don't get me wrong; stupidest is a word according to the dictionary, but it's grammatically incorrect.

Furthermore, in the second line, you wrote: "The answer is a big fat NO, and most probably will ever be." The second part of that sentence needs to be altered to a variation of: "The answer is a big fat NO, and will most likely continue to stay that way."

To add on to that, you have started a sentence with a conjunction several times (ex. for, and, nor, but, or, yet) and even left out a word or two here and there.

Your prompt use was excellent. I like how you took the prompt and gave your readers a nice slice of life moment. It was breathtaking.

Over all, your story was quite nice. I liked how you characterized the characters and loved your prompt use. While the grammar needs a little work, it's still a brilliant story. Good job, Alice!

Georgia's Feedback: This was a cute story, and I really like how you looked deeply into the family relationships of mother and daughter, cousins, and aunt and niece. There were a few sentences that weren't grammatically correct, leaving me slightly confused at their meaning, but overall it was a well spaced out read. I think in your attempt to go for some of the more common features of writing, e.g. the dramatic reveal, the 'make-up', and a few others, you have not quite hit them on the spot to make it work. The paragraph before she figures out it's Scorpius is a little funny, and I know you've written it to be that way because it's her thoughts, hut it just doesn't work for me. You did well with your promt use, and I really like how you had Hermione contemplating it - I just think that Lily's character felt like she was just shoved into the narrative, and she didn't really belong. Over all, really wonderful piece :)

I think that the descriptions of Hermione in her wedding dress were very unlike what I imagine Hermione to wear, so this fits with what you were trying to portray. I liked the descriptions, but I thought the imagery could have been a little stronger - it all felt a bit cold.

This flowed nicely, but I Thought you could add more to bulk the story. What you did write was good to read, though!

I spotted more grammar errors than spelling. When you use ‘mum’ possessively, for example, it should be capitalized.

The prompt was used well!

Dramioneeeee!

Bellatrix is crazy as it is without azkaban! Hahaha great article mate, why don't you become a reporter? :D :D

I really liked how you interpreted the prompt in this story. You really took the myth of the Black Lady and ran with it, which was great to read. I enjoyed the way you characterised Lysandra and her mother. You stuck to the timeline that they would no doubt be in with their use of language which was very good. Naturally this was a very original story, what with the myth that you chose, and the big reveal at the end was very fitting! The only thing that let you down was some SPaG errors, mainly grammatical. Otherwise, great read!