After seeing all the cutscenes of KH3, I am honestly shocked at how you predicted Xigbar's connection to the Keyblade War. Of course your prediction wasn't entirely accurate, but it was still impressive to say the least.

I just want you to know that you just predicted 3 of the new worlds in Kingdom Hearts 3.

Just finished reading your story and I really enjoyed it. However I'm gonna leave some of my opinions on it. Bare in mind that these are my opinions and it is completely up to you whether or not to take them into account.

Positives:
The sense of escalation in this story was immense. Each world had me feeling like the story was building to something epic and I flipped out when the last Disney world was revealed (my favourite Disney movie of all time.) (WON'T SPOIL FOR THOSE WHO HAVENT READ.) Overall in terms of building up to the final showdown and balancing the constant Disney world visits with story segments really balances this fix well and creates a huge sense of escalation. I loved the idea of all the worlds coming together to form the coalition and that REALLY added to the scale and sense of escalation.

I also really enjoyed how you made some of the Disney worlds and elements relevant to the plot. It is clear that a lot of the Disney world elements have become less and less relevant to the plot as the kingdom hearts series has progressed and I feel like you really changed that for the better. For example you found two of THE ONLY REASONS IN EXISTENCE for Atlantica to be part of KH3. You also succeeded in making Maleficent and a lot of other Disney villains feel like credible threats again and given the whole Disney aspect of the games more recognition and relevance.

Another thing that you do really well at is character motives and development. I like how you gave Maleficent, Pete, Xeanhort and especially Braig very interesting backstories and have explained their true motives by doing this. I feel like this would be much easier to do in a written story than cutscenes of a video game though but you do it extremely well nonetheless.

Negatives,
I really feel like some of the action scenes that had exceptional build up throughout the story could have been handled a lot better. You have a habit when it comes to these scenes of just stating what's going on and I think there needs to be more than that. You need to try and paint a picture inside the reader's head. For example, when you were stating that coalition ships were coming down to battle, there needs to be more, do something like stating how many, describe the explosions, what the sights of the armies charging might look like. I get that this would be much easier to do in video game cutscenes but it could easily be fixed here.

Another thing that I wasn't a big fan of was the way organisation XIII was handled. Most of the story had the heroes fighting Maleficent's and don't get me wrong I enjoyed her relevance and levels of threat rising because of that, but I feel like we just could have seen more of them trying to excecute thier plans throughout. And this was not backed up well when during the final battle you kept stating that a majority of them were weakened. From what exactly? We've hardly seen them throughout the story. I also think that there were scenes and plot elements throughout which served no purpose other that to make them look weak, such as fucking Hans and Ratcliffe becoming seekers of darkness and fucking Belle besting Xemnas. Nope.

Another thing that I don't think was handled very well was the use of romance. Now as much as you like house of mouse and the shipping of Malificent and Hades, you have to take into account that the show was a LOT more of a light hearted and friendly tone than something like KH. I mean KH is the closest thing Disney has to Japanese anime and it depicts them as sinister villains who want to conquer all worlds. And tbh, the romance element just makes them look a bit silly and something I couldn't really buy into. I get that it was used to delve into Maleficent's character a bit more but I feel like there were other ways to do that other than a romance that felt kinda forced tbh. This leads into more errors with romance imo with people like Terra and Aqua. There wasn't really any build to a potential partnership in BBS and tbh the just felt thrown together in this and that shouldn't be how a romance should work. It needs small moments hinting that two characters have feelings for each other. Like Sora and Kairi's romance was handled well in this because it had been building for so long and the others just didn't really.

One last little nitpick which you might not agree with is the structure of character locations. I get that this is a written story and I completely understand if you want to treat it that way but I almost want you to treat it like it wasn't. For example, if this whole story was a videogame, who would be playable and where? Like at the beginning, you state that the practice session with Kairi and Lea would be the tutorial. So we would assume Kairi would be a playable character and would have a story mode entirely based on her. However in Port royal, there are FIVE weilders present. So we could assume that it would be something like Riku and Kairi having their own stories where Aqua and Lea are either just party members or have their own story. However THEN later Lea goes off to a world with Ienzo (someone who would clearly only be a party member) so this would imply that HE has his own story as well and if he has his story then terra, aqua and ven would probably have their own stories too. All of a sudden we have way too many character story modes. You could argue that it may follow a formula similar to Sonic Adventure where every hero had their own story mode but that would just lead to a constant chore of revisiting worlds and experiencing the same plots over and over again (which I think the only thing BBS did wrong is and this would be that on a much grander scale.)

Anyway that's just my opinion (may be talking nonsense on the last one but oh well lol.) I really did enjoy the story (don't think that I didn't just because of the negative criticism.)
Best of luck with the future.

What about Alice?! Did you just forget her? What happened?!

Ejem agrabah kh 2 ejem,ejem deep jungle ejem.

Absolutely fantastic work, I barely have any flaws, I love the idea of the Daybreak Coalition, More emphasis on the Foretellers and Braig's Unchained storyline, 9 out of 10, A must read, With my Phenomenal seal of approval, Very well done!

Omg does that mean Ephemera is in this story?

i think Luxu is the traitor

Master Gula and Master Ava were best friends

i want to see sora and ventus to be close friends ik they are brothers in this fanfiction but still i would love to see them grow close and team up together

Sephiroth having a more active role in KH3 would be great, but he's his own man and works alone. It's very out of character for to work with Xehanort, even if there's a reason.

finished the story finally. I enjoyed it. it was very well writtenI'm glad you posted. now the things I didn't like. 1. hades x maleficent. those scenes were definitely the worst. they were cringe worthy. 2. sora x kairi romance. although clearly canon, I felt the romance was forcedway too often. I didn't care for those scenes either.
3. the xehanort final battle. it was extremely short. I wish it could've longer.
4. kairi's back story. that was the worst chapter of the entire series. I had to drove myself to read itit ruined the story for awhile for me. 5. I thought kairi wasnt acting like herself for most of the story.
6. the romance in general. it seemed to mess the flow of the story up for mefelt out of placeforced at all times. even in the atlantica scenes. (I have no problem with romance, the way you did it just didn't fit to me.)
7. I don't see xehanorts vessels turning against him. most of them are xehanort so that doesn't really make sense. especially young xehanort. 8. I was hoping there'd be so cool duo attacks with Roca'ssora or sorariku. stiff like that. overall story rating for me: 7/10 good job

the last 3 chapters made me cry tears of joy

Ever heard of Krampus?

I wish u would let sora and ventus team up and go to different worlds