Honestly, I don't normally come back to one story more than twice. I think I've read this one like five times. God, it's just so beautifully written! The bits about Mugen's body being all bone and corded muscle, and the energy humming under the skin, and then the raw emotion you put in every scene. You pull the reader in with every sense! At the time I first read this, I was just looking for some smut, but I wound up finding a real gem.

Awesome story. The ending of chapter 1 was almost too cruel, and I wondered how the story would be "fixed" to be happier. Love it all. Great writing and keeping the characters true to their personalities.

I loved this ending so much better

Really enjoyed this story! Thank you so much for writing it!

Great chapter. Love the detail and I look forward to reading the next chapter!

Dannng, that was just really, reeeally hot. Thanks for the good read. C:

I just realized that I didn't comment much about the existing content because my brain went straight to "what happens next?!". I really loved that it all started out with Mugen just toying with Fuu, basically trying to get her to shut up about how she doesn't get why they go to brothels when she's there. And I loved that Jin was ready to draw his sword when Mugen pushed her up against the tree. The blindfolded kiss was interesting. I gasped in an "oh shit" moment, combined a little bit with a devious laughing, when Mugen told Fuu to say hello to their audience, and even more so when Mugen made no attempt to stop when Jin was standing there. He just simply didn't give a shit. In part 2, I loved that Mugen was basically ruined for other women, and that the only way he could express it was when he was drunk - but he DID express it. But I especially liked that he just wanted her to look at him again. He was aware that he had damaged their relationship. The lemony/limey bits were sensual without being overly graphic. It was just the right amount of detail, and there was a good amount of focus on Fuu's reactions, which made it interesting. Mugen sort of walked her through the jump straight to the main event. Really, really nice job on this, and my brain still in "what happens next mode". I'd love to see more!

Whew. Um... More please? Now I want to see them together, maybe after they find Fuu's father. What will Mugen be like a few months out? Will he actually treat her like they're a couple? (In whatever way he's capable of, that is.) You really should add to this. Maybe a few more chapters. And as much as I hate to say this, because I love my Bushido Boy, maybe Jin needs to go his own way. Or else they keep sneaking off to be alone? Maybe he accepts their relation(s)ship? I dunno. This could go in a lot of different directions, and I'm curious to see where you might take if you did add more. I'd totally read it.

This is so amazing and so very them. Both endings! Great work.

That was way too harsh I understand that Jin is Handsome But Mugen Is The Beautiful One And By The Way That's Gross Jin is 20 yrs Old and Fuu Is 15 yrs old talk about pedo And she was in love with Mugen not is like her father-type (Or Brother) It Was Obvious She Favored Mugen Romantically -But Other Than That Awesome

I am amazed at how Mugen was totally Mugen without any OOCness... I could totally see Mugen doing all that...

Me again! I dunno if you got my comment on your livejournal (it said it was sent but it was also marked as spam?) so just in case I'm putting this here. My E-mail is:

feel free to send me whatever! :)

cheers!

I love it! It actually seemed like it would like an episode of Samuaria Champloo.

A cute chapter! Still very nicely written, I enjoyed your style of eroticism once again. it's rare to see an author write in such a detail as clitoral over-sensitivity, I really enjoyed it. Also, drunken Mugen's rambling and cursing is always fun, and nice one on that foreshadowing of Mugen throwing his sword away for her.

Since I have now read your author's notes on LJ I can comment on this story as a whole, including re-visiting the first chapter, now that I know what all the intentions were for the story.

I must admit I didn't catch the foreshadowing of Mugen not planning to prank Jin early on until I re-read it, though it seems to be fine since that was done on purpose. In general, I don't mind non-fluffy Fuugen fics, in fact, I usually prefer them. A good conclusion to come to from watching the show is that Mugen is clearly a man going from feeling infatuation to (likely) being in love by the end of the show, neither being emotions that he's ever felt and probably doesn't want to feel or is scared to. Even if he accepted his feelings it would probably take years and years for someone like him to express love like "normal" people would, if he ever would.

That's why I prefer fics like these, it shows that vulnerable and clueless side of him that causes him to act harshly. His telling how he feels only while drunk seems realistic to me. This is why also Forgetfulness is one of my favorite Fuugen-centered fics, (despite some of the pacing issues) as well as Treatise on the Price of Sugar in the Edo Period. (despite it having moments that can be rough to read, it's really very good) Also I must say after having read your LJ I totally agree about The Electra Complex. :p

Anyway, you've mentioned you tried to end this story by chapter 1. I think chapter 2 is very nice, though! Regardless, here are some suggestions I can give for the future.

Had it ended on chapter 1, it could leave a bad taste in someone's mouth because of what's happening in Fuu's head, she thinks she has been used, she has been embarrassed in front of Jin, and she's feeling like absolute garbage while Mugen is feeling pleased with himself, then it just ends. I know, Mugen is clearly lying, and he didn't plan to use her, but she thinks he did and had a horrendous first experience. He also didn't tell her that Jin was watching from the get-go and she would have probably liked to stop if she knew, thus making it possibly non-consensual. (as I previously mentioned in my last review) But it's fine, it's fiction, and they cleared things up and started working things out by the second chapter, (I had assumed this story was taking place during the series so I knew everything would be alright by the end so the whole ordeal with him throwing his sword away would have eventually happened, but it was still a tough read to end on) but if you had wanted it to end on chapter 1, these are just my thoughts on how it could have ended up looking. Harsher fics where bad things happen to the characters are totally fine, though I don't know if that's you wanted 100% so that's why I share my thoughts. (if you do end up going for a rough fic, make sure to warn readers ahead of time that it doesn't end well for someone somehow. You mentioned you were bothered by the ending of the electra complex since emotion was invested in the story only to leave the reader frustrated and saddened, so warnings are always appreciated! but yeah this is for future reference and not for this fic in particular)

Moving on, if I could suggest more on how to end chapter 1, maybe have it end after she talks to Jin about it after chasing him, so it at least doesn't end with the readers thinking "jesus poor Fuu, not only did she have a horrible first time but Jin hates her too." I've also mentioned Mugen being insufferable because he got no consequences for his actions. I enjoyed him being tormented in this chapter. :p Maybe chapter 1 could also end on both Fuu and Jin giving him the cold shoulder the next day, and him acting like it doesn't affect him but it (secretely) does, and that's about it.

Another quick thing, one of your notes said that Mugen doesn't mean what he says about the virgin thing and it's evident because he's the one to turn and hold her. I agree! But that could easily be seen as something for his benefit, like wanting to feel her up some more. Maybe just adding small details before he does that helps, like saying "when Fuu didn't turn around after a few seconds, Mugen grunted and reached for her etc. etc." I know, I know, you don't want it to be too obvious, but I think it was too subtle this time. I'm by no means a good writer, I'm just an emotional reader, so I can't really suggest what's best, I can only try and explain how I felt. Maybe have betas who tell you how they felt reading the story, or what they felt about a character's actions, and ask why they felt that way and see if that's the kind of emotion you were going for. Sometimes you can't have betas and that's okay! It's just something I would suggest for myself since I do that with my art and comics.

This got a little long, sorry! :) Thank you for the story and for the second chapter, I really enjoyed reading it and once again you are a wonderful author!

Oh wow, that was...intense in several meanings of the word. Good job and please write a second chapter!