That was the best. Made me cry in the good way.

It's beautiful. The writing was lovely and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. You did a wonderful job fleshing out the characters and I was genuinely moved by their struggles. I loved it :)

I really liked your take in this first chapter! So many people focus on George's reaction to Fred's death or perhaps Molly's reaction. Percy's reaction is often overlooked. His guilt makes so much sense though. He abandoned his family and then even when he tried to repent and make things right, he had to watch one of his brothers die. That would be hard on anyone. I have a lot of sympathy for him in this.

I really loved the interaction between Percy and George. It was actually a different look at George's reaction to Fred's death than what I've seen before. I've seen a lot of him spiraling into depression and alcoholism. Which I've always liked that characterization because I'm a sucker for tragic characters. But I now find that I am fascinated by this version of George. How he forces himself to be happy, holding onto denial like a life raft. I think it's definitely a plausible reaction. Oh, but you have to cringe when Percy points out that it's hard to even look at George. That was pretty harsh. But I suppose he's still in some kind of shock over the whole thing. But now I'm back to feeling sorry for George. He has to see an image of Fred every time he looks in the mirror! He has to see everyone else's pain and grief every time they look at him! Oh Georgie. :(

Anyway, I like where you're going with this. I'm very intrigued by the premise of Percy trying to piece his life back together. And it makes so much sense how he would want to put off going back to work, afraid of being drawn into a bad situation like he was with his last job. I had actually never thought of that before. And after that note, I'm really interested to see how you portray Audrey! Well done!

Happy (belated) Birthday Celesti!

Poor George, most guys would take advantage of all the desperate single ladies that day. I’m sure in the past he might have enjoyed it a little so it’s telling that he’s not interested this year. I love it when people add a playful sense to Percy, with him taunting George about protecting him.

I feel like even Audrey can appreciate Valentine Day chocolates, the next day when they’re on sale for half-price ;)

Oh, no! Percy’s probably not even interested in Penelope and Audrey’s misinterpreting it. I’m sure he’ll set her straight soon enough though. I liked the visual of that scene, Audrey looking out the wet window seeing them together seemed to be something out of a movie.

Cheers!

I started reading this because it's a Hallows nomination but I'm actually kind of really intrigued now. Lovers and Liars has gotten me a little more interested in Percy as a character/person, so the fact that this is mainly about him and Audrey (who I'm eager to meet - I want to know someone else's headcanon regarding the woman Percy married, because mine is sketchy at best, yet her daughter is the only next-generation character I've written XD) makes me want to read it, even if it HADN'T been a Hallows nomination.

I LOVE the way you've written Percy in this first chapter. It's a very humanizing view of him. He's filled with guilt and self-doubt, to the point where it's very likely he hasn't even properly mourned the brother he lost. The fact that even George is doing better than Percy says a lot about how Percy is beating himself up over it.

I've never much cared for Percy (I actually find it a little odd that I chose to write about his daughter, to tell the truth. Even if it was only a one-shot! XD) but I think, based on what I've read so far, that this fic will earn him a special place in my heart.

I'm not sure if this is a typo or not but in the line describing the condition of the scarf, you wrote warm where usually the word would be worn. That's the only possible issue I noticed as far as SPaG goes.

Your characterization seems good at this point - very appropriate for both what we know of the characters and how the situation might effect them. Again, I really love this portrayal of a guilt-ridden Percy. I'm looking forward to seeing him forgive himself and move passed it though.

This chapter works as a nice parallel to the last chapter with Percy, starting off with the similar dream about dead family members and feelings of guilt.

Heh, I like Jacob’s sense of humour with the stealth joke. It seems like the type of bad dad joke an older guy would say.

I’m glad that there was a little more conversation between them in the scene with the coffee date otherwise it would have been a little too much of a rehash of Percy’s side in the previous chapter. It’s a struggle to keep myself from skimming conversations or events I’ve already read because I know there’s usually more backstory in Audrey’s narrative. I enjoyed the part where Audrey was reflecting how easy it was to share her feelings with Percy because it sets a nice foundation for their relationship that she enjoys his company and is able to talk to him.

Poor Percy, I wonder if he has nightmares like that often since the war. The feeling of being separate makes me think that he’s still feeling guilty over being separated from his family during most of the war.

I wasn’t a huge fan of the court case, I felt more like Audrey was on trial for some sort of misconduct rather than Lestrange. You’d think his actions during the war and the fact that he was an escaped convict would be mentioned rather than just that one isolated event. Even if there was a scuffle.

Finally, some Percy Audrey bonding where they go out and discuss books and history and just talk. That was cute, and I liked how Audrey has just enough in common with Percy that they have some shared interests yet she’s still her own person and has some differences too.

I enjoyed the brotherly teasing at the end. Of course Percy doesn’t have a life, he reads books ;) Jk, that’s basically my life!

I thought you set up Audrey and Percy's first meeting really well - so simple. It felt like a very natural interaction, which I absolutely adored. I think it was that realism that I enjoyed. From the very beginning when Percy is observing her and then listening in on the conversation, it all felt like something any average person would do if they were to notice something whilst waiting. I thought it was great.

Then his anger at the lady at the desk was very fitting of his character considering where he is at currently.

That one scene between Percy and Arthur was just brilliant! How I love a bit of family bonding.

'take a good grasp' (Keep wording simple if you can: 'never able to grasp Quidditch')

Is Oliver talking about Audrey?

Oh my gosh. Oliver's little thing about someone wondering into the locker was so spot on, in terms of what we know of the magical world, where odd things like that do happen. It really made me smile!

I really enjoyed your depiction of Oliver. I really like him now! I've never really given him much thought before.

I liked the way you're building our knowledge of Percy as a character with every interaction. You reveal something new about him each time.

Setting seems to be the only thing that is lacking, but again, this might just be my personal preference. In places you give as a few descriptions of what is happening around the characters and briefly mention 'where' your characters are which is enough to give me a general idea, but sometimes painting a vivid image of the 'where' can be very useful.

All in all, good chapter!

I love your narrative voice!

Already you've done well to create some intrigue regarding her background, particularly by the way she views her family ideals and relates her Grandfather's opinion.

You have a great knack for highlighting the conflict so early. Here we see Audrey's lost her parents and she obviously has very strong views on why/how it came about. I love how this almost seems to parallel the first chapter with Percy in a sense. It feels like they both have some healing to do, or coming to terms with something, which I really like. You've done a wonderful of job of creating sympathy for your character as well, it really makes me want to get to know her more. You give us all her inner turmoil and confusion which just makes for an even more compelling read. This is great for an OC.

I am most certainly hooked. Some really well done characterisation here! Absolutely wonderful!

I loved this, so, so much. It was an interesting look on Percy and loved Audrey the whole way through it as well, it made me smile, cry and laugh all at once which is what very good book should achieve. You are a great writer xx

Hullo xD

First off, I'm super sorry this was late. My Godson broke his arm last night, and it ended with me spending like 6 hours at a hospital before driving us back home, getting him into bed, and ten collapsing on the couch.

Moving on.

This chapter was that warm, fluffy, family chapter we've all been waiting for, and I think that you really did it justice in terms of the sibling dynamics you've chosen to showcase. Not only have you brought in a bit of George/Ginny, which is always good to see, you've got that nice banter between all three of them, and this coupled with the surprise that George and Audrey are friends just makes this a really stand out chapter.

So Audrey was a pranker? The plot thickens. I love how she and George just fall into this easy camaraderie, and then Percy is like: Da Fuq is going on here. Bitch knows my brother?

The ending, I feel, was perfect and had just the right bit of romantic foreshadowing.

Overall, this is a great read, and I look forward to more.

-Ciao Mate

Wonderful start! I'm absolutely liking the way you paint Percy. It's quite strange to read a fic that isn't focused on George's grief after the war but Percy's guilt (which is very much my headcanon too).

I just love the way you paint his distress and how clear it is that this has been going on for a while without explicitly telling us, but it's there, hidden in your prose (e.g. 'like every other June, July, May...' or 'and there was the joke'). I just love these little nuances that remind us where Percy is at psychologically.

Poor George, having to put up with Percy. That line where Percy says he can't look at him - ouch! Gosh, such an outrigt reminder that Fred is gone and he's Fred's twin...

Molly's brightened expression said everything. Clearly she wants Percy to get on with his life too.

I think the best part of this chapter is how clearly you've painted Percy's struggle and inner turmoil. Plus, I think the fact that everyone around him wants him to move on makes his storyline all the more compelling and already you've created a great source of conflict. It's a great opening to this story. I can't wait to see how he works towards getting his life back together.

Hullo xD

Well, as you know, this story is now my jam, (*paraphrases Celesti*) and I'm going to camp in it till I get those lovebirds together. Before I get into the review, I'm just going to say how thrilled I am that you're treating these characters as people and not going: NOW KISS. It just strengthens the work to have a character driven story, whereas to much in this fandom is plot driven, thus destroying the characters.

So kudos on making this the best Audrey/Percy I've read.

So now, moving on, I'd like to mention that I like that you started just a little ways before where you left of in the last challenge, and this really helped set the scene. It not only helped to separate the POV of the chapters, but it also gave us some build up as to why Audrey was there.

I must say, Auror!Audrey is one of those fresh and new things I cannot stop raving about, because it's something I've never seen before, and it's something amazing.

Erin continues to grow into a strong and powerful character, something I adore in OC's, and in closing, I say, Fantastic.

Keep the chapters coming.

-Ciao Mate

Praise be the dawn, the Cliffie is to be resolved, and I can now go on with my life. Literally, the worry that you’re going to kill them off (my record is killing off over 130 canon and original characters in one MC) has been plaguing me like well, the plague.

Onward!

[She only stuck his tongue out at him] – Unless Ginny’s keeping Perce’s tongue in her pocket, the pronoun in this sentence is wrong.

Well, of course the war’s still going to be raging on. They’ve merely fought off the first wave, and broken Voldemort. They’ve cut the head of the snake, but the snake is still there, and it’s going to take a while to pick up the pieces. Thank you for bringing in this touch of realism.

[Honestly, the girl had to get her priorities straight] – OMFG I LOVE YOU FOR THIS LINE. It’s so sibling, and so real, and just really strong.

Audrey took down a Lestrange? They’re the darkest wizards out there, excluding the House of Black. Rodolphus was married to the Insane Queen of Darkness herself, Bella, and Audrey fucking took him down. Respect, Motherflucker, respect.

Oh, Halloway, you horrible bat, I hope you die. And then you should be staked upside down for a week, covered in salt, before being cremated, and then your ashes need to be pissed on, and cremated again, before being fed to a dragon. Then burn that dragon’s dung, and ship the ashes off to Azkaban.

Nonsense, Percy, that’s your lady wife, stop acting like you don’t know her xD

Also, I like that ending . . . which is a very nice hook. I can imagine their conversation.

Audrey: I’m an Auror, that’s why I’m here, why are you here?

Percy: I’m sort of in the Order

Audrey: Typical

Eagerly anticipating the next chapter.

-Ciao Mate

This was really good. Definitely a different Audrey than we usually see but I liked that. She needs to be different to get Percy to open up. I wish there was more Weasley interactions but still really enjoyable.