This has been a good read. Think you should've focused more on Weiss trauma from being raped, as well as taken the romance slower though. Things generally move too fast in your stories it seems. At this point I think the story should have about double the length to not make it feel a bit rushed.

pretty Dark fic you got here., but its worth the read..

Ninth paragraph: [But what if I don't*,* Yang?] and [If I can't make you happy *I'll* feel like *I've* failed as a sister!].
Tenth paragraph: [She was exhausted, there was no way she could keep going] needs either ", and" or ";" where the comma is.
Twelfth paragraph: "stash".
Seventeenth paragraph: Forgot capitalization on Yang again. Should also have a comma directly before the word in question.
Eighth from last paragraph: [I need to*,* Yang.]
Seventh from last: [*somehow*]
Fourth from last: Capitalize the I.
Last sentence needs a comma.

Annnnnd development. Unfortunately, this chapter is much too sappy for me, but it's a foundation.

I would go for either A.) Some nice healthy awkwardness; or B.) Bonding with deep conversation. Also, it feels like there should be a more tangible, external conflict. Not necessarily good vs. evil, and not necessarily external (trying to "fix" some personal problem together, i.e. help with writing or... not sure what else), but so that it's not a slow crawl toward relationships. My two cents.

Second sentence: Capitalize "the". Thirteenth paragraph: Capitalize Yang. Third from last paragraph, there is a space missing between sentences.

. (Not sure if that shows up properly. Oh well.) Great chapter, but I see what you mean: What next?

Ninth paragraph ("Shh"), [He's not *here,* nor will he ever be.] (comma) and [in *an* effort to comfort her] (extra typo space in "an").
In the third from last paragraph, the third sentence should end with a question mark, and the last four words seem clunky.

I liked this chapter. It added back that touch of negativity.

In the Ruby/Yang section: ["Yang?" *Ruby* asked]. Forgot capitalization.
7 paragraphs after, ["*It's*... Ruby... I..."]. The '
The next paragraph, the third sentence looks like you tried writing it two ways and combined them, but it's messed up. (And, interesting development. That slip.)
Six paragraphs after, [I'm the luckiest little sister ever, I could never repay you] needs the , changed to one of ! . or ;
Three paragraphs after, [without *your* larger than life *points* of *view*].

Ruby in a nutshell. Hyperactive. Yet she amazingly uses it well instead of being a nuisance like most hyperactive people in real life.

Decent content here, but this seems to be one of the shorter chapters. Not much to say.

End of the first paragraph: "*whether* it was the faunus blood", not weather.
In the first dialogue: "I mean, I'd love to support you just off of what I make alone, and I'm done with you staying at the apartment, but you need some kind of source of income." Mixed messages, much? Maybe "done" is supposed to be "fine"?
Second bout of conversation, "something about the shy *aura*". Typo.

Good developments in this chapter.

Ah, good. Was thinking about Tukson ever since the subject of writing came up. (BTW, you spelled it Tukston several times.)

"Thankfully, Tukston thought there wee always going to be more people working for him, so he stuck a couch into the break room." I could see this sentence going places. Something along the lines of "I can get a job" from a previous chapter.

Well, I'll avoid this campaign for suggestions until I'm caught up. Things that I would've thought of may already pop up.

Second paragraph: "There *are* a few within walking distance".

Umm. I have some serious qualms if we're going to maintain that supposed stereotype of creeper Jaune.

Wow, that last dialogue line of the chapter.

Well, after encountering the word "chevron" once again in this chapter, I looked it up. Zigzag design thing. Guess that's why I had no idea. I don't do much with aesthetics.

Third paragraph, the one part should be "and hadn't woke up since".

This chapter makes things seem too normal, and like they'll stay too normal. By normal, I mean nothing negative.

"It's not as if I can not find a job" made me wonder: What exactly is the situation in this AU? It definitely seems like monster hunting is not a thing. Blake is at least past high school and is a professional writer. Yet Yang and Ruby live together (what do THEY do? hoping we'll find out soon), and Weiss just... lived at home doing nothing until now? A lot of loose ends.

You happen to have the I-use-commas-when-I-need-semicolons-,-periods-,-or-colons issue. "The trip to Blake's home was short; living downtown had its benefits: Every major building was within four minutes." Or ; . or . . or . :
The sentence after that is also messy, and the one after that should have some "ing" words (present participles) replaced with regular past tense verbs.

Somewhere in chapters 1-3, there are a couple typos. I remember one regarding Yang and a hand, in which you wrote "had" instead of "hand". Probably chapter 3. I think there were a couple before that, but I don't remember exactly what.

"Weiss had no idea a book writer could have the large amount of money to afford a room in a building such as this." Neither did I. Well, yeah, really really famous best-seller authors would justify that, but that's slightly more than I expected out of Blake. But even more concerning is how all those other characters (JNPR and Sun) could live there.

By the way... I can't be the only one that thinks it's really weird for Blake and Yang to be used as female names. And I've never seen Weiss used as a name anywhere other than RWBY either. (I've watched the two seasons thus far. That was just my initial reaction. The names sound right to me now, though I don't know why they should be right.)

Wow, such room numbering. Don't know whether you put those like that to be funny/annoying or if you just typed those out without thinking.

Yay chapter! (Not in the sense of "finally a chapter", because I started reading this when there were 13 chapters, but in the sense of "good chapter-y, you're happy, but not quite leading directly into perfection because that is a really boring situation".)

Well, I'm pretty sure everyone saw that coming. (Living arrangements.)

You're being vague. There are plenty of things I could think of, but most don't make enough sense. No, please don't PM me to explain. I'll just ignore it unless it becomes relevant.

Let's preface this by saying I like dark stuff. Okay, now for the review.

Dang.

I wouldn't force a character to make that decision. Adoption is usually an option.

Don't know how much inter-character development there can be if the four already know each other aside from W & B. Looks like they're the main characters, but it's nice when a story can avoid tunnel-vision. Well, only chapter 2 so far. Guess I'll find out.

O...kay...
So...
I wanna say first... Im not much of an Enabler(ruby/yang) shipper... It just creeps me out too much...
However i am loving the monochrome(Blake/Weiss) in this. Its amazingly done. I do hope you continue this, but i think ill just skip over the incest parts.

Great story so far and I hope you update it soon!