Howdy! Slightly fandom blind.

You start off setting the mood perfectly. It is darker than usual and calling the moon luminescent gave it a feel that we are dealing with a spiritual element. You describe the sounds as haunting and his eyes dull. I can see that this is not going to be a happy story right off the bat. It prepares the reader.

He shakes, buckles and staggers forward. Something terrible has happened, but you aren’t exactly sure yet. A little girl has caused him to feel remorse This gives me an ominous feeling that something bad has happened to the child. Her simple gifts and sweet smile have made this man feel more than he is used to. I know he is a mystical creature purely by knowing the anime a little. But by reading it he could be human except for the description of his eyes being golden.

Either way he is not a feeling man. Cold and callous. But this little girl has broken down that wall.

He was caught off guard by a demon. There is the definitive proof that this is dealing with an otherworldly theme. You also mention imps and dragons, painting further pictures that this is a tales of magical creatures.

Her sad little limp and bloody body is very beautifully and tragically explained. How he can hear her voice, but as a whisper. How he blood permeates the air. The visage brings on rage and he destroys the demon quickly. But it is too late as the child dies before him.

Too late for him to realize how he true sees her as his child and that he does indeed care for her. This one shot is short. But I think it forms a forest of majestic beings and this one, Sesshomaru, who has just experienced a tragedy and is left alone. Well done.

Helloooo, Art. I'm here to bring ya a review cuz I drew your number at the Block Party XD FYI fandom blind, though I kinda know who's who.

I like this introduction – you keep it very simple but in four sentences, it's easy to picture the moonlit, breezy meadow and the person standing there, and that Sesshomaru is obviously in emotional pain. Also I like how you illustrate the physical aspects of his emotional pain (shaking hands, unsteady walking). These vivid descriptives are important to me cuz I'm a visual reader.

I enjoyed the contradiction of him being disgusted and yet being touched by Rin's kindness and little gifts, and how he thinks on what his father's opinion would be – which is that to have affection is a sign of weakness. Because he is obviously not human, he should not have human emotions, yet he is experiencing them. being blind helps me to know Sesshomaru a little better through these points laid out.

Ouch, so he actually found Rin being murdered and was there while her life bled away – demon or not, no wonder it's affecting him so much. I like his moment of inner conflict where he wonders whether or not to actually tell her abt his feelings...but then it ends up being too late. Double ouch :/ the poor guy.

I like how the ending is focused on his pain and regret – it's very sad but a great way to round it out.

Nice work!

I could tell your meaning from the beginning of the piece, Sesshomaru was to proud to show love to anyone yet he felt it and it scared him more than anything else. It would be a tragedy if he lost Rin while she was still a child for I believe she would eventually bring out the true feelings he had for her.

Hallo Rocky :) so this was your response to the Secrecy prompt at HT, eh? Me so very curious, indeed. For reference, sorely canon blind so please forgive any nonsense I may spew.

Wow, let me just say that your visual language is divine so far, yussyuss. Though it may be trivial in most people's eyes, I love your phrase [lush green grass of the meadow] the most because it just brings to mind a very peaceful and tranquil atmosphere. However...apparently, the person that's here right now does not feel the same way that I do...in fact, I would say it's the complete opposite.

[...no matter how he refused...] this feel incomplete to me, did you possibly mean [...no matter how much he refused...]?

[...at that - who ran away...] personally, I don't think the dash is the right punctuation to have here because I don't feel like the thought that comes after the dash is continuing from the previous thought (if that makes sense?), but I could be misreading this.

[...changed ever wildly...] I get what this is meant to say, but it feels little out of place. In my opinion, the thoughts of that memory are more...intruding? But YMMV on that. With that said, oh noes! :( that's so sad and cruel and that demon needs to be hung from the gallows by his intestines...but I suppose dying by the sword will have to do.

I'm very glad that the horrible scene (trying to avoid spoilers) wasn't dragged out and that it went quickly. On one hand, at least there wasn't much suffering, but at the same time, boooooooooooohoooo! And oh, my feelz with this ending, Rocky. My feelz...MY FEELZ. And that is all I have to say about that.

This was a really creative interpretation on the theme of secrecy and I'm glad that you rose up to the challenge. Great job! See you around!

Man, that was heartbreaking.

Hi rocky! Thank you for participating in the "Secrecy" round of the Theme Writing Challenge, and congratulations on being elligible for a prize. This story is very well-written. It's detailed, descriptive and emotional. I apologise though for my fandom blindness.

[The night was darker than usual, and the silver moon was ever luminescent, shining upon the lush green grass of the meadow. The breeze seemed to carry a soft, haunting tune, as a figure appeared in the darkness. Silver hair billowed across the air, as the figure turned his head to reveal a pair of golden eyes. Yet, his face was contorted in an uncertain expression, and the golden eyes, usually piercing, were dull.] Wow... I loved this opening paragraph! Your descriptions are just wonderful! You really know how to paint a picture with words.

[He continued his wayward, slow walk, while his mind replayed images of the recent past, an image of a little girl. A girl that he was afraid of, in his own way. A girl who laid bare his weaknesses, with a simple, sincere smile. A girl who warmed his cold, callous heart with her trivial, ridiculous gifts, no matter how he refused to admit it.] I thought it was interesting how you avoided using the characters' names. It helped focus the attention on what the characters were doing, instead of who they are. And once again, wonderful detailed writing!

[An all-powerful demon who couldn't even admit his feelings to the little girl, of how he truly cared for her.] Nice comparison of the character's physical power compared to his confidence to admit his feelings. I thought it was a nice interpretation of the theme "Secrecy" too, the idea keeping feelings a secret because the character, despite all his power, lacked the confidence to admit it.

I didn't come across any spelling, grammar or punctuation errors, so well done for that.

Overall, I thought this story was very well-written. I like your writing style a lot actually. You're a descriptive, detailed writer. Despite my fandom blindness, I did enjoy reading your story. Thanks again for participating in The Hostile Takeover's Theme Writing Challenge.

Well done! Keep up the excellent writing!

Jaz