I know this story is abandoned, so there is no point in reviewing, but man if you haven't made some irritating, very stupid decisions with this story.

You are, essentially, turning Neville into a slightly shittier but otherwise identical version of canon-Harry. Canonically, Neville is shit at flying. He's got a shit memory. He's shy. In this story, you've made him youngest seeker in a century and have him accosting people he thinks are "evil". Because Harry was youngest seeker in a century and wasn't afraid to stand up to people.

It's like you think that being "Boy-Who-Lived" automatically makes you "Harry Potter". Harry was good at flying because it was a natural talent of his. His father also had a similar level of flying talent. Neville isn't Harry. He doesn't have Harry's parentage.

Which brings me to probably the most annoying thing here for me personally. Neville has Harry's Cloak. The Cloak Harry inherits from his father. That his father inherited from his own father, an action repeated over the centuries all the way back to Ignotus. That's 100% a Harry's family thing. A Potter/Peverell thing. Not a "Boy-Who-Lived" thing.

So what is the justification here that Neville has "his father's" Cloak? Other than you desperately trying to make Neville as similar to canon-Harry as you can? It's very stupid. Neville's dad didn't have an invisibility cloak. Harry's invisibility cloak was meant to be unique in how it never stopped working and became an heirloom.

So unless you're going to pull the "manipulative Dumbledore" card out of your ass to claim that Dumbledore straight up lied to Neville and gave him the Cloak that belonged to Harry just because Neville is the "Chosen One" in this story, I think you've massively fucked up.

Not that it would be the first time. You have inconsistencies all over this story. You can't even get how you had James die straight. First he died to some conveniently-timed falling debris from the ceiling, then he died to Barty Jr. hitting him with the Killing Curse.

Do you consider to continue this story?

The spelling and grammar in this story is terrible. Honestly can’t read anymore

Archie is annoying , really really annoying!

I read up to chapter 19 it's a good book the pace is a little slow at points the relationship factor is practically non existent and with his knowledge in pranks I would have thought Harry would be fun but he is a stick in the mud literally. The author tries to make his best friend the funny one it works at times . Don't get me wrong the book made me laugh and any book that does is worth reading
Harry needs more personality he is almost emo.
Relationships needs work.

Literally the only issue with this entire story was the lack of line breaks but that was easily ignored. looking forward to the next chapter and what's ta come!

This is great why is this dropped I love this Harry he's goals are great the whole future Darkness woooo crap is a bit annoying but fuck it lestat is cool

Fuck Countinue the story... You fucking man

I sincerely hope you have Harry find out the cloak is his father’s and that it, a family heirloom, was stolen and given to someone like Neville. I also hope you don’t change the backstory so that the cloak is actually a Longbottom heirloom, because that’s pushing it.

‘Sinistra Vector’? You mean Aurora Sinistra and Septima Vector?

Not judging since I don’t think I’ve seen anyone actually get this right yet, but astronomy is the muggle science, the magical equivalent is astrology.

Please, please, please update this is a amazing story

please update again soon

I was a little wary of this at first, what with Harry just receiving the Elder Wand straight out the gate, but i gotta say that this fic has grown on me! I know it's been two years, but I sincerely hope that you will update it again. Cheers!

And I’m also surprised by the fact that there is a story with the exact words like this one. I like the differences though.