Wowzers. You totally got me at the start! I only realised after Remus took the pills what was really going on and it hit me! So, so well done!

Incredible

LIZA THIS IS AMAZING

I remember reading this the first time, and it was just as bone-chillingly wonderful the second time through. Everything about this is just incredible, from the plot to the characters to the way you wove the mystery.

Setting this in an asylum was genius. It's literally perfect for the fic. The murders were all so creative and totally horrific... I had literal shivers. You did such a great job of building up the suspense; I was on the edge of my seat the entire time.

Every characterization was great. The idea that Sirius' need to avenge and be with Remus drove him to murder... it's really not out of character, though on an extreme level. If he never got the help or therapy he needed, it's something entirely believable. Regulus was very in character, too—I can imagine how he would be too scared to stand up for Remus.

But. Remus as a ghost. THAT WAS THE BEST PART. I never suspected it... it was shocking to realize Sirius had been talking to someone nobody else could see.

All of this was done so well... I feel like I'm rambling, but I'm just so in love with this. XD The ENDING THOUGH. It was both heartbreaking and heartwarming? I don't know how to feel about it. But really, this was just a masterpiece. Amazing job, Liza.

This is so sad and beautiful. I really enjoyed reading this story, one of my new favourite stories of yours! I wanna read it again!

So bloody, so romantic. Ach! You are a Weaver of fine words, my dear. This was an amazing piece of art. I loved the way your story unfolded with such splendor. Absolutely glorious. There were smiles, tears, and pleasurable vindictiveness.

This was so twisted and dark... I loved it!

Dang i thought it was remus

This was absolutely chilling! I loved everything about the way you set this up. A supposedly haunted asylum, a group of boys just looking for a Halloween thrill. I was honestly expecting a ghost story. What I got instead was way more interesting!

I love the details. At first, I thought the flashbacks were just showing how Remus and Sirius got together. But the truth of it! Liza, love! That made it all hurt so much more!

I didn't figure it out until Snape. Then everything started falling into place, and I kept having to go back because a detail suddenly made sense. I applaud you for setting it up so well, leaving little breadcrumbs to follow.

You handled Sirius' insanity quite well, too. Thank you for that. Too many people go overboard with things like that, but you made it believable.

I felt so bad for Regulus. My heart broke for him just as much as it did for Remus and Sirius.

Well done. Such a beautiful piece!

I absolutely loved this! I thought maybe it was Remus and Sirius who were the murderers, and I didn’t really pick up on the fact that Remus might have died until nearly the end. I really loved how you’d hinted throughout that Remus wasn’t really there, and it was something that I only fully picked up on on the second read-through.

This was really well written - the only mistakes I noticed were a few random capitalisations, a couple mistakes with commas and I think [drowning on your own blood] should probably be [drowning in]. I really loved the technique you used to write this; I think alternating between the present and flashbacks worked really well here, and I loved how the flashbacks slowly hinted at what might be happening in the present.

This was beautiful, creepy, horrifying and a whole heap of other things I can't name. It was captivating. I loved the beautiful description, the creepiness, the underlining plot. It was all just so interesting. I was captivated (and yes, I know I said that before but it's just so true.)

I read it through twice. The first time I didn't notice a lot of the little clues. The fact that the other characters ignored Remus. That was really clever. I loved the affection Sirius showed Remus, I loved the dedication, I loved the fact that you flashed back to their moments together. I loved the interactions between the group of friends; I loved the terror they felt. I really thought the whole thing was so clever and interesting. I loved it so much, there isn't much more I could say.

Oh, the ending is so spectacular. I was so very amazed by it and I felt emotions I've never really felt before. You have an amazing ability to bring out all these emotions in the reader, ones I've never really felt before. You do it with just a few words and a line of dialogue. That type of skill can get you
far.

Is it okay if I was internally screaming the whole time I was reading this? Because I did just that.

Look, where do I even begin? The idea was just amazing. I'm not a fan of horror genre, but I think even your non-graphic torture scenes were written in a tasteful way, so I can't complain.

At first, I thought this was going to be a 'just a prank, bro' story, with the usual, 'going to the Asylum on Halloween' plot line, then I thought some random serial killer was rampaging, and then I though Remus was actually there and he was doing everything, and then I just accepted that you were writing Mentally Unstable!Sirius.

I really liked how you incorporated the flashbacks into the main story line, because even though at first, I couldn't quite grasp the point of your concept, it all cleared out eventually, and in retrospect, I think it was better that way. Up until about half of the story, you let the readers guess, and then you slowly made them realize what was going on.

Plus point to you, because you wrote a schizophrenic character in a way that we didn't really know he had this mental illness until somebody else pointed it out, and personally, I think it's a pretty damn hard task. And also, because I have a thing for mental illness!AUs.

All in all, I think the story's build up was perfect, your characters were on point, I liked how you made the characters realize at some point that somebody was actually targetting them, even Sirius' obsession with getting away from home and being with Remus was on point, and I'm glad you made him spare Regulus. I know he wouldn't have killed his brother, no matter what happens.

A bit back to build up, I really liked how you went on with the story from two different perspectives, both leading to the ending, and how you explained everything slowly, but surely.

Altogether, I really enjoyed this one-shot, and now I'm gonna just go and cry my eyes out. Thanks.
~3cheersforidiots

This was so heartbreaking.
About three quarters of the way through, when Remus was in the hospital, I figured it out, but up until then, you had me guessing.
The ending itself was so sad, but soulmates truly can't live without each other, and I understand Sirius's need for revenge as well as death.
I'm never read such an intricate one-shot, or a story that kept me so titillated.
This really was beautiful. Your flow and SpaG was flawless and I loved how you described all of the characters, especially Sirius.
The murders were gruesome without going in a lot of detail and everything leapt off of the computer screen. Great story.

... I am so, so glad that this is not a movie! Otherwise I would be clinging to you, screaming because I was just a tiny bit creeped off... I am just extremely sensible when it comes to horror movies, I always feel sick when I watch them. But luckily, this was not a movie, so there were no creepy sounds and extreme jump-scare moments...
I think you pulled these horror scenes off greatly, I am glad that you did not use that much details, and to be honest, you did not really need them to make this good. And I guess I would have run away if there had been more details. I think it may even have been Alfred Hitchcock who said that the scariest things are these we cannot see, and you sticked to that!
You just did this greatly, starting off with something that reminded me of a "normal" horror movie, with a group of teenagers visiting a creepy place which is said to be haunted. I liked that Ariana and her story was included, on the other hand at first I thought that it was really her or her ghost and I was like "Liza, don't you destroy my headcanon of a innocent and beautiful Ariana"! Luckily you did not... XD
It took me pretty long to finally be sure that it was Sirius who was killing his friends off, taking revenge, and I really liked that! It was keeping me focussed until the end, something that is pretty great for a story over 6000 words! Compliment for that, by the way. I do not think many authors are able to keep the attention of the reader up all the time.
I liked how you always put some snippets of how Remus and Sirius got together in it and slowly put together the overall story. It reminded me a little bit of Criminal Minds, by the way. Love it XD And Sirius had some pretty creative ways of killing them off and keeping them from being suspicious towards him until the end. I think you will forgive me if I call him a maniac once XD
It was just lovely how caring Sirius was towards Remus, even though it ultimately turned into madness, after his friends did hurt Remus. Also I really did not register that Remus was only there for Sirius, that he was a ghost, until everything was solved.
I liked how in the end, Sirius still had some kindness inside of him. Even though loosing Remus tore him apart, he still loved his brother Regulus enough to spare Barty as he does not want his brother to suffer the way he did.
There is one thing I found a bit odd, but maybe it was only me: Why did Sirius' friends make fun about Remus being homosexual when Regulus and Barty were in a relationship too? Or maybe I just misunderstood things, if I did, I am sorry XD Maybe I was just focussing on the main story too much
I think you did the characterisations very good, there was no moment in which I would have thought that a certain reaction did not fit the respective character, they were all done well! I also feel like this situation was the "worst case scenario" of what Sirius could have done in canon, so it is not that far-fetched.
There were some missing words, but hell, this story is so long that you can hardly catch them all, so that is definitely nothing to worry about.
The story was done brilliantly, Liza, the whole concept was so well thought through, and written greatly! Well done!

I love the little unspoken comments between Sirius and Remus, as to what they did last halloween and accidentally brushing feet, and such. I was slightly confused as to why Sirius and Remus were hanging around with a bunch of Slytherins, but I’m letting it pass. It’s humouring to see them all finding going to the Graveyard so horrifying and scare-inducing, but Sirius just laughs them off. I love his eagerness to get a thrill from something frightful, it fits in well for an adolescent Sirius.

Linking together Ariana with the Asylum was a nice touch, and I loved the idea of her revenge legend!

HA, I can’t help but feel a little triumphant at Rabastan getting himself electrocuted. After calling (who I believe to be) Remus a queer in the restaurant and being so full on as to walk into a dangerous looking room, thinking he’s a big man, karma is to be expected.

I’m glad that you brought up how Sirius could have started a friendship with the bunch, as it was a probing question beforehand. His snippet of getting closer to Remus was sweet, as was Remus’s fear that Sirius was only doing it to try and trick him.

Sirius’s protective nature over Remus is so sweet!

The horror movie vibe to this oneshot is great. I felt so tense and on the edge of my seat as Rodolphus was attacked from behind - I’m eager to discover who the culprit is. Logic and the twists of many horror movies tell me that it can’t possibly be the legendary ghost of Ariana, but who knows!

Argh, it’s so tense! As Dolohov seemed to recognise whoever appeared at the door, I’m suspecting it must be a friend, an acquaintance, or someone he may know...

The smut scene was so well written and romantic, and clashed beautifully with the horror scenes within the asylum. It’s like seeing the memories with Remus in a warm light, and the reality of the asylum as a harsh black and white film.

Argh! I know it must be one of them who is doing this, with them all drawing the conclusion that someone must have strapped Rodolphus up. I’m pointing my finger at Remus. He’s just acting too cute and lovely, and his past of being bullied in the restaurant by these lads is just perfect ammunition. Also, he’s showed that he has some level of mental instability, with the self-harming scars. Though this could just be self-loathing - but that could also make someone want to get revenge!

Someone put Remus in the hospital! I’m determined it’s Remus now!

Regulus and Barty are going to be ‘hooking up the security cameras’, huh? Maybe it’s my inner Barty/Reg speaking, but I’m pretty sure they’re just going to be hooking up. I hope. It’s clear that he only trusts Regulus too, as he wants him by his side. I love that Sirius’s protectiveness extends to his brother too, as too little people write him as being close to his brother.

Oh God. I think I know what’s happening, and I hope I’m wrong. I’ve just got to Snape’s attack, and it’s dawned on me that I don’t think anyone else has interacted with Remus. He’s dead, isn’t he? He’s a ghost, and Sirius is the one whose gone insane? Argh this is absolutely driving me mad! I love it!

Okay. I’m finished. THIS. WAS. PERFECT. I wish I could find more words to describe it. I’ve not read anything like this for a while! It’s such a rare occurence that I find a fic that spins psychological thriller and horror all in one - both of my absolute favourite movie and book genres. This was amazing. I applaud you forever for writing this! Thanks so much!

Wow. Very interesting idea. I love your characterization. And I love Sirius/Remus. One of my favorites and I think you did a great job of it.

Keep writing!