Kingdom Hearts? Lol

Well, it's unfortunate this story had to end this way, but it's understandable. I actually am thankful you gave the heads up and such since it's a courtesy not many authors give after giving up on a story, so I am grateful. As for your idea for a forum, I think it's a pretty good one actually and has my support atleast. n_n

Hello there! Okay, I know it's been awhile since you posted this announcement update, although I do have some questions that I think you already answered to some people already... But I'm really am curious to what exactly you have in plan for Alex and the rest of the characters' role, development, team, and their partners in a relationship, would be.

Also of course who the "evil presence" is/are, what he/she/they is/are up to in Moon Island, and his/her/their overall evil plan is... And if Chimchar will be alive and be evolved or fully evolved by the end of the fic.

Well, I guess that's it. Like I said, I know this was updated more or less a week ago. No offense, but I won't be surprise if you don't reply. If you are reading this... then I'll just wait patiently either for the QA or your reply. Hope you have a good day/night. Byez, Legacy!

HI LEGACY, IT'S SKITTLINQ (if you still remember me ahah). Being the genius I am, I somehow forgot my main account's password even though I use the same one for everything?/

Dropping by to say that my time on FFN's been a really fun ride, and it's all because of you and everyone else I got the privilege to know. :) SA was an awesome story, so cheers for the great read.

It's sad to see another author leave, but I guess that's life? haha. Good luck with whatever you're doing outside of FFN!

It's kind of saddening to know that Star Academy was coming to an end but life just get in the way sometimes. Honestly, I'm sad things with SA are not going to continue but I'm kind of glad I knew what thinspired were going to happen so I can kind of imagine how you'd write it. It was definetly a fun experience reading your stories and getting to know you and the others. :)

Such a shame it's over, but you had a decent run and gave it an honest effort. Ah well, thanks for the memories, it was fun while it lasted. Great chapter, keep goin and stay golden

Update your story before I come back and beat that ass.
~DJTiki

Btw, story's trash. No Raven x Sergio yet. Loser. :3

I really like the way that this was written, the chapter and the story as a general. I'm interested to see what comes next, I think that the interactions Alex had with both Jarrel and Rafi in the chapter though do open some doors to some questions :) Overall good job!

Sweet chapter; we got ourselves a nice island adventure and with the promise of acting coming I'm excited for the next chapter. Anyway, I'm mostly interested in Popplio and Litten, mostly due to info that continues to come out for their final typing. Popplio I heard might end up as a water fighting type, something that there isn't a lot of and would make for an interesting typing. However, Litten I hear a few different things for; as some say its final evolution will be fire/ground while others say it will be fire/poison. Personally, while I would love to have a fire/poison pokemon, a fire/ground pokemon would be cool too. Anyway, great chapter keep goin and stay golden

Mine was Popplio, that little guy is getting a rough break

Very good so far, still waiting for my character to get introduced, but I'm not complaining too much I mean it must be difficult to introduce another this far into the story

Guess who accidentally clicked 'Post Review'? FU-
Continuing. You did use a repetition of colours in that instant, so just be mindful of that. Overall, I agree with Fame, but good job for taking it well, Legacy!
To answer your QOTC, my favourite is actually Popplio. He just looks so adorable to me, plus I've been rooting for the most hated Starters ever since Oshawott.
So then, thank you again for the chapter! And as always, I shall wait patiently for the next one!

Yo, no problem! Trust me, when the time comes, I'll whip up a good OC. Also, Heart and DJ complemented me? Thanks guys! *Crosses chest* Good luck to ya, DJ.
Moving on! New chapter! So a whole lot is happening with different characters, and we're getting into the nitty gritty of the aftereffects of the Gyrados Incident, as I shall dub it. I'm glad you took the time to have characters explain the ripple effects of this event, as something like this would have a major impact on not just the Academy itself, but the students and their Pokemon. Honestly, I was just relieved to see Rafi (Wow, he shrugged off human nature quickly) and Chimchar fine, and in Paradise no less. Wouldn't exactly call a basin of river water paradise, throw in some palm trees and bananas and you've got a deal!
It was also nice to see the characters like Mark and Kari talking with one another...especially Aaron and Cherilyn. I'm over it now. Just seeing them all talk with each other is a joy.
Oh hey! SomeoftheFame! You're here too? Let me just read your review and-ooooooohhhhhhh. In all seriousness, he did bring up a lot of excellent points about the story, both good and bad, and I'd have to agree with him. Descriptions of settings can be a bit fast at times, and usage of similar details can get repetitive (If you don't mind, I'll use when Kari and Mark met up as an example

As always, the chapter is good. As for Starters... I think my favorite is Popplio, because of the final stages type. Anything with Ghost is okay in my book.

(Fanfiction cut my review short, so here's part two. I write too much...)

Something else I thought I'd mention is that when the story dips into darker territories, let's use the Gyarados attack and the events that follow, as an example. On the surface, the student's boat getting attacked and them being lost at sea and scattered sounds crazy good and something I think anyone would want to read. But for me personally it just didn't hold enough weight, as in I don't feel you gave the situation the time it deserved. It jumps back and forth a lot too, Kari sending out a Pokémon to search the island, Jenny looking for the kids, and then we jump to a physically fine Sergio and Pikachu back on campus and then Alex and Kari instantly get up and make it off the island. So while they're in a bad situation, their place in the situation isn't bad, if that makes sense. That's like being stranded in the middle of the woods with no food or water, but having a cell phone with a full battery and perfect signal and you call for help and get GPS to find the nearest road and then get picked up by a friend. It's like their situations are bad, but not severe, and maybe that's not something you want to do, put them in darker situations, but that is just something I've noticed. Also the after involving the survivors, it doesn't seem like they're any different. Sergio was and Kari is, but for Alex it's like, oh get shipwrecked, get rescued, and now I'm hungry. Maybe it's that I just don't believe the danger they were supposed to be in.

In your QOTD you asked what we thought the likelihood they all make it out in one piece was, with 1 being least likely and I would have said 10 because I didn't FEEL the urgency or danger in coming across a Gyarados. And even though at the current chapter not everyone has been brought back and things are still ongoing I still don't feel an urgency in finding Rafi or Chimchar. I will say you did a good job in making me care more about Chimchar because of his separation anxiety. And I feel like mentioning the loss of the egg from Mark's POV was a nice touch, but I don't feel the connection in his sadness about it. I think for me a lot of these emotional moments aren't hitting home for me.

Before I end this long review, a few nitpicks (that have nothing to do with the story itself) I have are that you refer to Alex as “the brunette”, which is the way you describe a female with brown hair, as opposed to brunet for a male. You use the word bluenette for Raven, which isn't a word, but I suppose I'll suffer through because it's become so heavily used throughout certain fields. Also Cherilyn used the incorrect gender form of the word anglais, but again that has no impact on the story lol, my years of French classes have just left me with a sore spot for the grammar.

It was probably obvious, but this review included my opinion on things from the first chapter until the current. Although it wasn't a review of complete praise I do hope it reaches you well and that you find my critiques constructive. Most of this was written as notes as I read and then I finished the review and went back through the story a second time and trimmed out things that you'd already addressed, or that I saw improved and therefore didn't feel the need to harp on again. I hope you can see that although I do have my issues with the story it hasn't stopped me from reading this far, waiting for the next chapter, and wishing I'd gotten in on submitting an OC. Keep up the good work!

I can't really remember a time that I've invested reading time into a SYOC story, Pokémon or otherwise, as most don't make it past the initial chapter. So let me start by saying congrats on that feat alone, I think the thing I've enjoyed the most to this point is the interaction between characters whether they be your own or ones submitted. One thing I should comment on, considering you're doing a lot of world building with this story, are your descriptions. At times I really enjoy them.

“Charizard descended as a young teenager stepped onto the shrub-infested field, feeling his battered shoes dig into the soft mud underneath.”
“His red and white sneakers parted the mud underneath them with each step he took towards them...”

The two lines above are some of the stand outs from the first chapter and considering they happen practically at the beginning it's a great way to draw in the readers. Not only are they well written, but they're relatable.

Another thing I liked was the rubbing of Alex's nose, you had him do it first in chapter one and then again on the phone with his mom chapters later. I loved that it wasn't done constantly throughout the story, but that it came out of nowhere. I also like that Sergio is studying and researching Mega Evolution. Also Sycamore had ten year olds exploring it, I like that it's become institutionalized in your story and that it wasn't the first thing out of Sergio's mouth when we met him. Shows really great planning and character development on your part, again, bravo. I also like how Kari was oblivious to a lot of things involving Mark and Jarrel, in a different kind of story by a different kind of author there would have been a big dramatic battle to settle things in the gym that day. I remember you said you wanted to drive the story by plot, not battles, and you're sticking to it, kudos. About Jarrel, I usually love dark characters, but something about him creeps me out, I don't know what it is!

Regarding the characters, I really like Mark, his lie after his swirlie was flawless and says a lot about him, more than I think you could have done with him explaining himself. I also like that you wait until the end of the chapter to reveal who the characters belong to. At the beginning of the story I was usually wrong about who belonged to who. I guessed right that Aaron was submitted, but I assumed Sergio and Mark were as well. Which brings me to my next point that a lot of things in the story are beyond my ability to predict. It didn't cross my mind that Mega Evolution would be in the story, most authors who have had their MC using it from the get-go. They also would have had their MC be a ladies man, but I like that Alex struck out with Cherilyn at first and is crushing hard on Kari and doing cute things like bringing her breakfast. All these things make it a very interesting story and shows you know what you're doing as far as planning goes. I know the story underwent a revision for chapter two and so perhaps there were things that you added and then decided to take out for the betterment of the story, but regardless as I read it it's a really great slow burn in certain aspects.

While I said I do like your descriptions there were times I felt it was a bit overboard: “the asphalt conveyer belt many called a street.” While it's not a bad description, I think it would have been golden if it had been used for a character's inner monologue, it would have given insight into who that character is as well. But as a piece of exposition in your third-person omniscient story it says more about you as a writer than anything else which I'll touch in more below.

One thing I've struggled with during my reading are your descriptions of people and at times objects. You describe things by using a formula “[color noun]”, for example: emerald orbs, chestnut tresses, ivory hand, chocolate mane, onyx instrument, and minty spheres. The banality of this technique causes me to pause every time I come across it in the story, whereas I just read and keep going when you used words like red, green, or blue when describing someone's clothes. This goes for other nouns too. After Alex knocks over Sergio's guitar you refer to it as the “onyx instrument” which seems odd considering we've already learned what it looks like, a black guitar, at which point referring to it as anything else is repetitive. Once we learn who a character is it's fine to just use their name, that won't get old if you're concerned about repeating it. I was going to mention you using phrases like 'emerald boy' 'crimson boy', but since the earlier chapters I haven't really been seeing things like that anymore, they've been fleshed out into 'emerald-eyed boy', which is still playing on the repetitive thing I mentioned, but it's an improvement.

Aside from descriptions one small thing I noticed is your use of the word papyrus and by reading your author's notes I can see other readers have mentioned your vocabulary. I haven't come across any words that I have had an issue with, the story reads very easily to me, aside from my gripe above, but I haven't been able to let this papyrus thing go since chapter two. My first thought when reading it was why would this modern academy be using a type of paper using in ancient Egypt? And considering it was first mentioned coming from a printer for Alex's schedule it led me to believe you were just using it as a synonym for paper (to be fair paper is the first thing you get as far as related words go when I highlight papyrus on my Mac). While there's nothing wrong with switching some words for others when using bloated language, I think it's important to know the meaning behind the words you're using because in this instance it made no sense for the academy to have papyrus. Instead you could have just called it what it was, a schedule, an itinerary, a sheet, etc. I haven't seen the word used since those early chapters, but I still wanted to mention it.

In one of your notes you said you were trying not to use the word 'ask' twice, but it's really not a problem. I know I've been talking about repetition, but when it's for dialogue, there's absolutely nothing wrong with using the words 'said' and 'ask' over and over. Because they're so common and simple for what you're using them for (dialogue) readers tend just to skip over them like they're not there are all and all they focus on is the dialogue. One of my favorite quotes about writing is that dialogue belongs to the character and the verb that follows it is your input, and what you should aim to do is not draw attention away from your character speaking, think of it like a competition of who's more important to pay attention to. An exert from Elmore Leonard's 10 Rules of Writing:
“The line of dialogue belongs to the character; the verb is the writer sticking his nose in. But “said” is far less intrusive than “grumbled,” “gasped,” “cautioned,” “lied.” I once noticed Mary McCarthy ending a line of dialogue with the “she asseverated.” and had to stop reading and go to the dictionary.”
I haven't noticed too many dialogue verbs that pull my attention away from the story, but my point in adding the quote was more for when you use words like papyrus. Also in the same author's note you were responding to reviewers who were having issues with some of the vocabulary, as I said I haven't come across a word I didn't breeze right over, but Mr. Leonard's point holds true, if your readers have to stop and look up words just to get by in the story it creates a problem and even if it's not something that needs looking up, sometimes throwing in certain words in place of said can cause a reader to pause.

Personally I don't mind seeing new words in reading, whether it be fiction/non-fiction, fanfiction, or textbooks, I mean we all have to learn new words during our developing years. How else will we ever expand our vocab, grow, and learn? So the line you might cross when choosing certain words really is based on your audience, you can't please them all and I wouldn't suggest catering too heavily on what your readers want/need if you feel like it harms you creatively. For example, I dislike your use of words like chocolate and crimson to describe eyes or hair and some don't like you using bigger words, but if you feel like you just couldn't live with yourself if you stopped doing these things then we'd have no choice but to get over it or stop reading, life will go on either way.

As far as some descriptions I really liked, it would have to be the introduction of Vera.

“The pale, steely-eyed girl was dressed...”

Steely-eyed is hands down the best since description for a character I've seen in the story. Because we don't stay exclusively inside Alex's head we have no reason to believe someone with chestnut eyes is better than someone with crimson eyes, and after a while all the color descriptions just kind of blend together. So steely says more about the look of not just her eyes, but her entire stare, which in turn says volumes about her character before she really has any defining moments. Then you backed up that reference into her character with the scene at the beach.

“her face as solid as a Bastiodon's...her intimidating behavior shot fear into Riley.”

With these three lines I've quoted about Vera, in just a small piece of an entire chapter she became the stand out in my mind over characters who've had chapters to develop, although she hasn't quite surpassed Mark! My point being you've described some characters by color over and over throughout several chapters, but it doesn't do much for their character, whereas you manged to paint a very vivid image in my mind of Vera just by saying she has steely-eyes. Not many may feel the same way I do about that, but it definitely struck a cord with me and I really appreciated seeing the change as I progressed in the story.

Something else I thought I'd mention is that when the story dips into darker territorie