Lovely long yarn. Mmmwah.

I honestly don’t know what to say about this story, at the start i thought this has a lot of potential, you’re a good writer but your stories lack soul and passion and development. I never saw Edward and Bellas relationship change, their always fighting and he’s always being an ass, i never saw Bella and the children’s relationship evolve either. Everything was just stiff and there were no tender, sweet or touching moments. The whole story is just a huge big shouting match, it had a lot of potential but i don’t know, especially Edwards character disgusted me, always shouting and yelling, always saying he’s changing but he doesn’t, treating bella like shit from start to finish, he seems rude and pompous and selfish. No character development whatsoever. disappointing really.

what the fuck

well I hope other chapters are equally hot.. if this was ur first time to write something this far then I can't imagine what ud do to us with more experience.

my stomach fell reading this.. I hate what is happening to her

wow .. how i manage to make this so hot is beyond me.. but it's very hot.

I find it rather weird and unnatural for him to not think of his children at all.. I understand you're portraying him to have good intentions at heart but act just as he was raised, that he doesn't know any better, well then he should at least have a crossing thought of his daughters.

I'm confused.. it says Charlie left town and then met Isabella's mother while it also states that Edward gave him his word to watch for her.. what and when and how?

uh oh .. I wonder what kind of punishment would that be

this is intriguing and interesting..

I'm gonna keep going coz this is too interesting to stop.

okay he's horrible but this chapter is making me laugh.. I never expected that..

oh my god.. what the fuck was that?!
I'm really tempted to dismiss the whole story for I can't stand the main character to se such a sick fuck .. seriously who does that? take their girl's panties to spank them? only a pedophile surely.. that was very disturbing really.

Brilliant! Loved it. I could not put this one down.

lovely