Awesome Story, I want more :D
But...you haven't wrote more in a long time :(

Great story, can't wait for not :)

You based this guy on your personality?! You must like hardcore a LOT if this stuff is happening to Cipher. Any other stories
with wild stuff goin' down?

10/10 would kek again.
Seriously, this is awesome. I still think it's funny that he gives his powers names... And smut drop totally sounds dirty... But good work!

Awesome just simply awesome.

That was quick man I might fall a little behind on your story because my teacher is going all in on me this week and so after.

Okay... I have no idea where to begin! First off, sorry it took half an age to read this... I've been a busy busy bee. And it IS 20,000 words and that’s like 7 of my chapters.

I don't see a better way to wake someone up than splashing 'em with water. Great start. I love the way you write in third person. Even though it's not from the person's POV, it's told beautifully and I can totally relate with the character. Which isn't something you see often with 3rd person perspectives. So kudos to that.

Secondly, your descriptions are amazing. You have a writing style that just flows from description to dialogue flawlessly, it’s so amazing to read that I read it again… and again… and again. No joke.

Also, one of the first things I noticed was that Jake’s mom’s name is Alice. That made me smile. And then I had a weird thought about Alice in TSK losing her powers and becoming a normal mom and marrying Jake’s dad and giving birth to Jake… which totally messes up the timelines.

Jake’s dad getting powers was pretty cool. I definitely did not see that coming. Is his power vibrations then? And that tech dude… I’d like to learn more about HIM! He’s a great opportunity, I think, for an epic backstory. Was it him that made the scanners start acting up at the DUP place? I mean Jake is a Conduit, after all, and scanners don’t just STOP working.

Another thing I wanna see is Ryle in later chapters. Will he get powers? Join Jake on the journey to free his dad? Ryle is one character who I wanna see a lot more, but IMO his fashion sense is worthy of a painful death. JK.

Jake himself is a pretty awesome character. His powers of dust are just a TAD bit too similar to Delsin’s for me to… well… LIKE him as much as I liked Ryle and Alice and Jake’s dad. In my head, the sound of Dust is different to the sound of smoke ((more like a **puff!**)) but other than that, it works pretty much the same way. Knowing you, there’ll probably be a lot of other unique abilities later on in the fic but tbh this is the one thing I didn’t like so much about him.

I have a feeling that Jake’s journey to free his dad is gonna be very different to what he and us readers both expect. Freeing his dad will probably be his primary goal but I’m guessing a lot of new stuff is gonna motivate him and the plot might even take a completely drastic twist so that it’s no longer even about a teen-conduit trying to free his kidnapped conduit-dad from the DUP. I just can’t wait to see how this is gonna integrate into the Second Son storyline itself. This is definitely something worth spending time on reading.

あなたの物語はあなたの人格である
Haru

I had no idea the hardcore stories you wrote. You are a gifted guy. I hope that the other stories are just as awesome.

This is an awesome story bro!

Okay, I really enjoyed this chapter. Like, a whole lot. Dust is a pretty good original power.
I can't wait for the next one, dude! keep up the good work.
Also, I love how Jake keeps naming his powers and makes a joke about being in a video game. LOL.

Man I loved it, my favorite part was Ryles and Jake conversation in front the school. This kind of made me understand you a little bit more is that weird? Anyway you can write your a*s off. Oh and one more thing mimicry fool? How did I know you were gone say werewolf physiology. Aye I ain't gone lie but I was waiting for that to come since I know you well. Also have you thought that black is overused as well? Think about it good story