I think
This is a very nice piece of ffction. Very in character , thank you

Very interesting.

Very nicely written! Loved the way that you stayed true to the characters 3 Keep writing!

You had me at Jane Eyre. My all time favorite book. Excellent! ! I wish to see more work!

I am always intrigued by stories that ponder just why Jareth is so fascinated with this girl. What provokes his interest? In this case, it seems to be, at least partially, an unexpected bit of generosity on her part.

And I'm laughing at Hoggle's reaction. Very funny.