Yup, it's not very good. It's amazing! Thanks for your compliment on something very obvious! Now GL,L!

not very good

the japanese is wrong it actually says "I am wondering if your offense is occurring

Listen, Afro.
If you don't like my art, shove it. Don't bash something YOU don't like because it's superior to your insubordinate mind. Don't bash art if you can't doodle.

This story needs some serious rewriting. The way the main character was introduced in the beginning was alright, but as soon as he got to Equestria, everything went to shit. He blatantly told Apple Jack his story and she just up and believes him, he hasn't even been there a few hours and apparently he likes it SO much more than Earth even though he didn't go much anywhere except the library and even then he didn't do anything but talk to ponies. The way he starts to get familiar with his surroundings (remembering MLP) could have been written better. Apple Jack apparently says he's a good friend even though she hasn't talked or interacted with him enough to even be called a friend. This storyvcan be so much better if everything had a little more flow and common sense to it.

I do like it so far. The character is interesting and all especially how he got to equetria. I can't wait to read the next chapter.

this was kinda scary...but i like the story so far...

Holy Celestia! She killed Rarity!