Quote taken from the chapter:

"an complete and total idiot."

The 'an' should be an 'a'.

Pretty interesting story so far, that's the only issue with the grammar that I've noticed... I can't wait to see where it goes.

No issues here, just that you said "Mandara" instead of Madara in your AN.

First of all, thank you for the wonderful read so far. The quality is fantastic and the story and characters both engaging and believable, as well as competent, nay, actually insightful world exposition.
I am looking forward to reading the rest of it!

I saw two little things that I might call your attention to, as you said that you are always open to tuning the story.

The first is early in the chapter, where you mention 'bikers' liking sake. This is a bit interesting as far as immersion goes, because while the technology is feasible in the narutoverse, it doesn't seem like motorbikes and bikers are something of common reference.

Secondly. you wrote "Akakmaru" instead of Akamaru.

I'll point out anything else in further reviews.

Again, thank you for the work you put into this, I and many other fans really appreciate it!
:)

Thanks for telling us what’s going on, with you and the book.
So Orochimaru learned to time travel?

I’m slightly surprised you didn’t go the sadist route with kakashi, and have him blackmail hinata with “I’ll tell naruto that you stalk him if you don’t win a spar at some point soon. And I love the next chapter name, cuz we really are gonna need a montage

Honestly, having Jiraiya tell Naruto to call him Pervy Sage was the most touching moment I’ve ever seen between the two. I usually only comment once I’m caught up on a story, which is why I’m so sad this has been abandoned, but your writing is excellent. I hope you might reconsider picking up this story again.

Hidan snorted as he sat up. "Quit your bitching, you're still alive. Shit, if I hear you correctly, I'd be more worried about packing lube, considering how much the snake guy seems to stalk you."

Oh God, I just love how you make dialogues here! This fic is truly one of a kind! I hope you will update sooner.

Oh man, I am so sorry that it's been so long since I've been able to catch up and review this story.

All I can say is BRAVO! While I am sad that you are discontinuing the story (for the time being), it has been a helluva ride and one of the best fics I have read.

I love what you did with the characters. I love how you explored how the world of Naruto does/should work. I like how you didn't just merely rewrite different episodes but took things in a different direction and made the world and characters richer in the process. You also managed to keep some humor in there too, which can be tricky.

This story did what you needed it to do to help you as a writer. If it served that purpose and you feel it is best to move on or step away to avoid burning out on it, that is what you need to do. It doesn't make what you did any less beautiful or enjoyable.

I really need to take a look at some of your other stuff sometime.

I wish you the best on your future endeavors and am thankful you chose to share this story with us.

great story! disapointing to see end even if i was warned at the beginning! i like the final plot twist with orochimaru even if it doesnt "finish" the story as i would have preferred! overall good fic with a lot of original elements some i had never seen before in the fandom! and i wish you good fortune in your future writing!

On why the Shodaime didn't free himself - he couldn't. Later on, he has the power to do so, of course, just as Madara did. But since this was a much weaker version of Orochimaru's resurrection jutsu... well, he simply didn't have the power for it. This is a much nerfed Shodaime.

I really, really like almost every single decision you have made in this fic. You do some things that are very bold, and I really like that. And I share your thoughts on shipping.

Coming from another fanfiction site that is a little less... aggressive with shipping, I was floored by just how many people ask (or demand) that you introduce a ship into your story. I was under the impression that people planned out their fics, and adding random romance in the middle would only make things worse. Unless it was a crackfic or something.

Then I noticed other writers actually ASKING their audience what sorts of ships they wanted, and I almost got a BSOD in my brain. Sure I KNOW that a good writer can make a believable romance between almost any two characters, but most of these people are children.

While I certainly won't fault you for saying the canon ryo value is wrong, (I quite agree that writers can't do math) I would like to point out something that may explain just how filthy rich ninja seem to be, even Genin.

I realize that even a D-rank pays out, at minimum, 116.57. (Yes, that is just over 100$, not 402, because TEAMS are the ones doing the missions, not individuals.) I noticed that myself. And that D-rank missions are fairly commonplace. However, many of those missions are given by people who are rich, and might want to spend extra to get it done right. Ninja are prestigious, and rich people like prestige.

Plus, since they are mostly team-building exercises from a village's viewpoint, that means that young genin teams likely have priority in taking them, even if the actual number available are low. (I do want to say that I don't approve of JUST how easy some of them are.)

Finally... well, we see a lot of ninja just throw around shuriken and kunai, but... they aren't exactly the most inexpensive items to get/make. Especially if they want them to be the best quality. Not to mention other specialized items required for a ninja to perform their job properly.

While ninja may have high-paying jobs, they also have very high material costs, even at low levels.

Remember, a village is NOT self-sufficient economically. Hidden villages attract merchants because ninja need expensive equipment, and merchants living in town attract other types of civilian business, but villages are actually in BIG trouble if their services are not needed very often.

The money from missions comes from OUTSIDE the village, and the administration takes a cut.

Now, if I were to create the exchange rate myself, I'd probably do something like 1 ryo 7 yen or something similar. But it was likely listed as 10 for easy accounting for readers who don't care THAT much.

My point is, if you are writing fanfiction that is bound to change a few small things anyway, the canon exchange rate is not that hard to get into a relatively feasible state.

(Still, it does not bother me in ANY way that you decided on something else. I'm not very rigid in the way I consume fanfiction, and alterations to canon do not bother me nearly as much as they do for others.)

OH DEAR GOODNESS, this chapter was so much fun!

Switching between Zabuza's frustration, to Sakura's 'wtf'-ing to Naruto's 'Huh, so that happened' made a wild and fun ride.

Thank you for this! It's glorious.

Okay, so I object to the notion that Orochimaru could show his face, and not be attached immediately. He would be assaulted as soon as he confirmed he had a spy. Him coming under a banner of peace would be ignored because in peace he kidnapped, tortured, and experimented on, konoha citizens.

I did, indeed, go cross eyed in that last sentence lol.

Love this fic and all the twists and turns it takes!

I know you said you've thrown out all conceptions of "canon compliance" and have fully embraced the definition of "divergence," but I gotta ask what happened to the string pullers of it all like Zetsu, Madara/Obito/Tobi?

This last introspection on who I assume to be Orochimaru is really interesting and implies many things that I think can be tied in easily together with his weird soul transfer thing and the dimensional hack of Obito's/Kakashi's sharingan.

Ever notice that you can't spell sharingan without sharing? I laugh at the irony.

I hope you come back to this fic someday, but until then I'll leave it with the follow and fav it deserves. :)