This is quite interesting and enjoyable story.
I think that you should change its status to "completed" though because seeing the date of the last update and the seemingly unfinished status I almost didn't read it thinking that it was long abandoned, and that would truly be a loss.

What a well-written read! Thanks for writing this. Good luck with those 99 other ideas!

over all an excellent story.

I landed here after reading "Orcish Vise", and I think that I am going to thoroughly enjoy every one of your D&D stories. You are a very talented writer, keep going !
May Nerull spare your life.

This was a great story with well done characters and realistic combat. The idea of the wolves worked well but . . . I'm not sure the druid should have been killed for trying to protect the forests. Any way, good job.

I liked it. And I think this 'use all 100 prompts' is a noble idea. I certainly wouldn't have tried it. I'll cheer you on as you go for all 100.

As always Icy Mike your stories are amazingly written and a pleasure to read. The way you write your cbsts simply astounds me. I don't know if you are even on the site any more but if you are and your still writing I can't wait to see what other ideas you draw from the DMG.

Good luck writing

Valas169

You should write more stories about Talia and the ranger.

Sylvain du Lune D’or - the name of the character in conjunction with the chapter title, immediately made me think that it was 'she', so I tripped on the very first 'his holdings'. You might want to establish him as a male at the opening sentence, as opposite to using a pronoun (ie Marquis Sylvain Du Loune D'or...).

Also, you seem to start with capitalizing Marquis, and then switch to the lower case. I think it has to be capitalized, but I am horrible with that stuff.

[quote]'Milord, I suspect that these storms are not natural in nature'[/quote]

just 'not natural' should be fine.

It is interesting that the North is considere dthe warmer place. Different.

[quote] Sylvain simply nodded as the young mage hurried from the meeting hall and rushed to the staircase. The marquis simply watched..[/quote]

Two cases of 'simply' in a rapid succession.

[quote]... main doors of the Marquis du Lune D’or’s keep...[/quote]

If it's a keep, perhaps, 'gates', not 'doors'.

Talia is an interesting character, and I think it is a very nice detail that as a northerner, she is the one who notices there is something wrond with the cold. Myself, from a cold city, I think that here, it would be exactly the same reaction: What? Snow in July? Oh, that's Rockies for you.

And a brooding ranger type. My absolute favorite.

[quote]At least try not to sound so miserable," Talia said, trying to goad the ranger into a better mood. "I mean, it’ll only be a couple of weeks, and then you can go back to doing… well, whatever it is that you do."[/quote]

It's a fine moment for Crispin to point out that tracking in the wilderness is what he does, lol.

[quote] "Well, yes, but I wanted to see where you would be later," the young mage answered. "After all, I want to see what you know about the southwest, in case you have any ideas-"[/quote]

You lost me on this one...

[quote]"Well, okay," Talia said...{/quote]

This sounds a tad too modern after a marquis, and a ranger, and a mage...

An interesting chapter, certainly a good beginning of an adventuring party. A bit too predictable - ie a young tender girl and a rough woodman, but well, if it serves the story, it serves the story.

Whicked. What can I say except that it was a great beginning. While the premise of the late evil winter is quite common in the fantasy literature, I liked the pacing and the dialogue.

My only uncomfortable moment was this:

[quote] Allan tried to plant his hands to stand, but to his horror found that his right hand had been torn free at the wrist.[/quote]

It sounds imo too matter of factly, while the guy who has his palm torn out would be hurting almost into fainting; the natural reaction to splurting blood, will be to grab at the stump, the huddle over it, while he is running, fighting the pain and faintness. It also deep snow. So my two cents would be to make Allan's wound and his last dash for his life slightly more labored, as opposite to leaping and racing.

Good work and have fun writing

Domi

Hey! Im not your number one fan? Bah! You've forgotten all about WoD havent you :P?

I actually read this many months ago, but i forgot to review it, and well, i just had to re-read it :)

A very, very nice story, with a nice, if a bit simple plot (your WoD plots are much better ;)), nice characters and nice descriptions. I felt it lacked abit in the "personal descriptions" department though.

Anyways, how is the firefighting going? And when are you coming back to WoD? Nevermore's actually written something! And now its only Baerad thats really, really worth reading in that department. We need you! Get drunk, and start roleplaying again!

This fic ROCKS! Your writing has a crisp and polish to it that's rare in fanfics. I like that.

Your choice of "Crispin" as a character name is really cool. Shows that you're well-read.

One suggestion: add the word "COMPLETE" to the summary description of the fic. I was hesitant about starting this tale because I usualyl hate reading unfinished stuff and waiting for updates.

Great story. I also loved Orcish Vise, whucih I read first, and Fire and Darkness is looking good. Keep writing, still ninety-seven ideas to go.

Hey, awesome story. I just got an account, and I'm glad to say I've only made myself look like an idiot twice!Anyway, great job, and keep up the f$# ing awesome work!
p.s. please send me a good musing. All of my plot premises' suck!

I must say that you've done a great job. I enjoyed your excellent use of dialogue and I thought you did and admirable job of getting us to really like each of the characters, despite their flaws.

That being said, I thought you might want some constructive criticism. Personally, I felt that the first two or three chapters were perhaps a bit too descriptive in regards to the environment, the winds, etc. It appears that you have an excellent understanding of meteorlogical phenomena, but somehow I felt that was a bit over-done. This wouldn't be that big of a deal if this was a Robert Jordan novel, but since your fan fic is a lot shorter, couldn't all that exposition be better spent towards character development?

After we finally get the characters out of the town the story picks up dramatically, and you have a flawless execution from there. The only part where I was a bit confused was when Crispin shouted that the webs were on fire...so I went back and looked for a reason why, but I couldn't find one. Later on Talia admits that it was her spell's misdirection, and then it clicked. But for clarity's sake it might've been better to mention it beforehand.

I don't mean to sound like a nitpicker. I really enjoyed your fan fic and I wish I could do half a decent job as you have done. But I thought that as a writer you might desire a review that contains something more than praise. ;)