What a beautiful story.
I'd like to think that Ariel's candle was partly for her own mother.

You called Erik a prince. I have one question about that.
If the king and queen are dead, why hasn't he been crowned yet?

Wonderful. What a roller coaster of emotions I went through while reading this. Poor Eric. Yes, Ariel, don't let him go!

Thank you for sharing this!

Amazing. Simply amazing writing and story.

Hi Rose!

I have to marvel at the inspiration which brought this story to your mind. From its opening scene to its very end, it is simply beautiful…and wonderful!

I immediately felt like I was watching a very good movie or series episode, the sort of movie and series I wish Disney had actually created. Ariel is so “herself,” so excited and innocent and eager to learn everything she can, but she is also vulnerable and sensitive. Your third paragraph explores her sense of the fragility of her existence in the human world (or her perception and fear thereof), for which Eric is both her shield and steadfast anchor, as well as her teacher and true love. Ariel’s nighttime panic attacks and disorientation seem to be a very natural and understandable reaction to both the alienness of her new world, her probable fears of loss (or Eric), and perhaps the residual effects of her traumatic experiences a year before and even a small amount of lingering guilt and self-doubt.

The transition to the library, in which Ariel questions Eric about the picture of the cathedral is every bit as wonderful as the preceding section of the story. One can just feel Ariel’s excitement, need to know and even wonder at the answer, and the moment also shows Eric’s gentleness with and love for his wife. As Eric explains the cathedral’s purpose and function, Ariel’s response is interesting, particularly how she pauses before the phrase “get married.” I think this implies that she has either seen or been a part of prayer services in a church and that she is especially familiar with (and interested in?) human marriage customs and ceremonies as a religious function. Anyway, it caught my interest! An additional note about this section is how Eric already is relying of Ariel for some sense of emotional support, and that she is there for him.

I wonder if their awakenings the next morning are a very subtle exploration Carlotta’s love for Eric and now, Ariel, which we saw in the movie and which you explore deeply in the Prince Eric series. As Eric awakens and considers the day to come, again it is apparent that Ariel’s presence in his life is now his lifeline of a sort. I think these paragraphs are an effective transition and allow each character to express their thoughts, love and reliance on one another. Interestingly, you depict Ariel as an “early-riser.” I think one can make the case that she might be an early-riser for the reason you give. As an explorer at heart, I can imagine she would always be eager to get started. Then again, other authors have concluded that she always ends up staying out late, and therefore likes to sleep in. Either way is fair.

And then you take us into the final segment of the story. Just to be forthright, this entire part of the story built up well to its climax(es) and worked well as an exploration of Eric’s vulnerability and pain, and how Ariel’s presence in his life assuages that hurt, and perhaps even may eventually heal it. That Eric was thinking of her happiness and didn’t wish to burden her with the full story of what was happening was very true to his character and his love for her. This is actually a reciprocal theme between the two of them.

Ariel’s reverie as she experiences the cathedral’s beauty is beautifully conceived and written and your descriptions paint the whole scene very well. Detail is abundant in the picture you portray, but not so much as to impede the flow of the story. Rather, one feels Ariel’s mind taking in all of these things with a sense of wonderment. Her discussion of ownership of the cathedral is also an interesting way to introduce a sense of economics and political relations between Glowerhaven and Eric’s (and Ariel’s!) kingdom.

Ariel’s disappointment, even sadness, resonates as Eric seems to ask to be alone for the task of lighting his candle. But what I am thinking is really happening here is that he deeply wants Ariel there and with him, but he knows that he is going to probably lose control of him emotions, his composure. There is nothing more humiliating to a man than to uncontrollably express such weakness in the presence of others, but most especially his true love. This is because it is felt to project a sense of weakness, and yes, vulnerability, precisely to the one you wish to feel safe, secure and comforted in the strength of your presence. A lifetime of peer conditioning enforces this, and this is why “men don’t cry.” Of course though…men do cry…just not often, and not in the sight of others.

Essentially in this moment, mythologically speaking, Eric is entering the underworld alone yet Ariel actually never seems to have left his side, and is there beside him in his most painful and trying moment.

Among many explanations of what might have happened to Eric’s parents, this is one of the best, and that Eric confides that he simply couldn't bring himself to tell Ariel is a very powerful moment. Your device of having had Ariel learn the truth of what happened from Carlotta was also very well done and worked extremely well.

Eric’s parents’ fate and his survivor’s guilt are his emotional “forbidden zone” and his own personal [torment]. Also, learning here of how Eric’s parents died is the first indication that this is a different “continuity” from “Prince Eric.”

That Ariel is there for him, that she comes to his side in the end and fulfills his need to no longer be alone is perhaps a second climax in the story, with the first being the lighting of their candles and the revelation about how Eric’s parents’ died.

One of the beauties of the story is its seeming thesis that no woman, and no man, is an island. As much as Eric is there to comfort and protect Eric, Ariel is there to comfort and protect him. The modes of differ according to each of their strengths and characters, but the effect is reciprocal and probably equal. You end on a lovely image of their two candles burning slowly together, eventually to fade, but to fade together. Any more is unfair for a person or persons to ask given the capriciousness of life.

A lovely story Rose. You write Ariel beautifully and I deeply hope to see her more often in your stories, when the timeline permits of course.

-Axantur