Woah,a Duchess story,sweet :P and with Hopper?,I have to said,I have a thing for crack pairings(I like DaringxRaven for good's sake,even when he's a total and complete son of a witch xD)and this sounds so interesting,you got me and I seriously hope our not so favorite swan kick that Sara's tail :P
Another thing,I ask for your honest opinion regarding my OCs,I make them Mary Sues?,cuz I really don't want to fall in that common mistake
Here I put some details just to boring you(certainly you are after reading all the revies of my OCs xD): Sombra can turn her head 270 degrees as any owl,but don't do often,gives her headache :P,Anahi was born from a flower from the tree that was her mother and raised by his mother's lover,with Ben speaks fluently,with Terencio too but with Hugo still has problems cuz she met him less than 3 years ago,gets flattered when someone call her ugly(like Maddie when someone call her crazy)and like any tropical plant,hates the cold,so escapes from everything that emanates it and loves water,getting into it whenever she can,a funny scene will be she jumping into the pool of school and splashing everyone xD
Also I have notices for you :P,I have other 4 OCs,they're all childhood creations that I adapts to the world of Monster High(Sombra and Hugo)and Ever After High(Anahi and Ben)when the first episodes of respective series were published,while these that I will show you now I adapts last year cuz I couldn't find a story where place them,until I remember one that I was told in kindergarten: El tero y la vizcacha(the southern lapwing and the viscacha),so the 4 are from that story:

Name: Teresa(means huntress :P)Tero,nickname: Teresita or Tessie
Gender: female
Sexual orientation: straight,she likes kind and nice boys
Age: 16
Country: Born in Uruguay,moved to Paraguay and when she was 12,to Far Fargentina away,where she meet her very remote cousin Sombra
Physical appearance: She's tall for a girl,tall as Dexter,so she highlight in any part,pale skin,almost as much as Apple,scarlet eyes with crimson eyeshadow,pink lips,grayish-brown hair,with black fringe and a white band divided it of the rest of her hair,in a low long ponytail like the Sailor Starlights in Sailor Moon and a long crest of black feathers in her head going backwards
Clothing style: Wear a black bandanna on her neck with the knot forward,short sleeve shirt black in front,gray-pearl in back and light brown sleeves,skirt with white short front(above the knee)and gray-pearl long rear(below the knee)with a black band in the edge,pinkish red tights,garnet low heels mules,bracelet made of stones resembling Southern lapwing eggs and Southern lapwing egg-shaped stones earrings
Personality: She is shy,but unlike Anahí that stop being after minutes of meeting someone,she's all the time,with guys and girls,tends to hide behind someone acquaintance of her when she meets someone new,what's funny cuz of her height,soft spoken and generally doesn't speak unless asked,she's nervous most of the time,apologizes a lot,cries easily of insults and aggression,she's much better protecting someone else than herself,in fact,if she sees someone hits someone she loves or weaker,her eyes turn completely red and 2 spurs emerge from her wrists and attack the aggressor with them while throwing a Southern lapwing shriek,after calm down she feels incredibly guilty even if the perpetrator has it deserved,so she avoid getting angry,she wishes to be as badass as her cousin Sombra,whom she admires
Likes: Shares her love of books and music with her cousin and friends,loves dancing,water and eats insects and lizards,like a nervous tick she ducks while she walks and a little when she's still,she turns to a Southern lapwing(Vanellus chilensis),more specific the subspecies Lampronotus,which explains her height and is a bit clumsy in flight
Side: Royal(she didn't want to disappoint her parents even when her destiny is a sad end and she's the national bird of Uruguay,giving her the title of royalty)
How she ends in EAH: She goes there cuz she wants to spend more time with her distant cousin(their kinship is like Cerise and Sparrow's in The Unfairest of Them All)so she can teach her to defend herself,Sombra gladly accepts and protect her like her pet Plata
Pet: A Patagonian mara named Marta,she's very motherly with Teresa and defends her from people whom bother her,getting very aggressive,and a Chacoan mara named Palo who is as shy as his owner

Name: Terencio "Terry" Tero,Teresa's twin,younger for 3 minutes
Gender: male
Sexual orientation: Bi(but he likes guys more),likes brunette guys and girls,like Sombra he also likes guys with glasses(watch out Dexter xD)and girls who know how to look after themselves AKA don't like damsels in distress(but still saves them cuz he's a gentleman :P)
Age: 16
Country: Born in Uruguay,moved to Paraguay and when he was 12,to Far Fargentina away,where he meet his very remote cousin Sombra
Physical appearance: As tall as his sister,same skin,eyes(without eyeshadow)and hair style
Clothing style: Black tie,same shirt that Teresa,gray-pearl jacket with a black band in the edge up to his knees,pinkish red pants,garnet Oxford shoe,ring with a egg-shaped stone resembling a Southern lapwing egg
Personality: Is a carbon copy of Sombra,often called her male version,Teresa says Sombra's more his sister that her,but still he loves his twin madly,always standing up for her and hates that she haves to have a sad ending,like his sister he haves spurs and can turn into a Southern lapwing but he's better flying,prefers frogs over lizards(maybe try to eat Hopper when he sees him like Sombra xD),has a great voice as her sister but is not shy about it,singing all day
Side: Rebel
How she ends in EAH: Goes with her sister to protect her and spend time with his cousin,who think is awesome,get along great with her(their handshake is bumping their heads with each other :P)and help her to teach her sister to stand up for herself
Pet: A Southern lapwing,subespecies fretensis(the smallest subespecies)named Quelte,he's nervous and noisy,like any of his species

Name: Vicenta Vizcacha,Vicente's twin
Gender: female
Sexual orientation: straight
Age: 16
Country: Paraguay but move out to Far Fargentina away
Physical appearance: She's as tall as Hopper,ashen gray skin,light grey wavy hair in a shaggy bob cut,black lips,chestnut brown eyes with black eyeshadow
Clothing style: Faux fur coat of viscacha with elbow length sleeves and reaches her hip,always open,white shirt showing her navel,dark gray bell-bottoms,black belt with viscacha head-shaped buckle,white go-go boots,leather fingerless gloves
Personality: Although she's the youngest,she wants to be the next Vizcacha,so she ensures to be the best in everything she does,so she can get the destiny from her parents and is working so far,is the leader of the two and likes to ordering his brother and everyone around like a princess,even if she is not,threatening to beat everyone up,is very arrogant,sarcastic and spoiled but unfortunately knows how to fight,can turn into a Vizcacha comun or Plains viscacha(Lagostomus maximus)
Side: Royal
How she ends in EAH: Goes there following Teresa to keep pestering her,the only reason Sombra didn't had turn her and her twin into "pickled viscacha" is cuz Teresa ask her not to,but call her Bizca(means "cross-eyed")as mockery
Pet: A chinchillón or Southern viscacha(Lagidium viscacia)named Sierra,she's a pest like her owner

Name: Vicente Vizcacha,the oldest by 5 minutes
Gender: male
Sexual orientation: straight
Age: 16
Country: Paraguay but move out to Far Fargentina away
Physical appearance: As tall as his twin,same skin,same hair color but in a crew cut and same eye color without eyeshadow and dark circles under them
Clothing style: Same fur coat,same shirt but without showing his navel,same pants,same belt,same boots and same gloves
Personality: He's a jerk,a bully and even when he denies it,follows his sister just cuz he can't beat her,he doesn't mind beating women and don't really care about his destiny,so he says that he gives it to his sister,just to not admit that she beat him,can turn into a plains viscacha too
Side: Royal
How she ends in EAH: Like his sister,goes there following Teresa to keep pestering her and Sombra call him Bizco,both call her "Urraca"(means magpie)
Pet: A vizcacha austral or Wolffsohn's viscacha(Lagidium wolffsohni)named Orange,he's a pest like his owner
There,I hope I haven't bored you :P,Teresa is like I was like when I was little,Terencio was like a friend that I lost contact with long ago,Vicenta is like the only bully girl I had,just for a year,thank god and Vicente is a mix of all bullies I had,tell me what you think,read ya

Hah, oh, that was exactly what I needed to cheer up my day. It always was interesting to see Duchess get her feathers ruffled while dancing.

Anyways, the second chapter is hex-cells my, as they say. Both serious and hilarious at the same time (poor Hopper!). If the flow of OCs stops and you need more, let me know. I'd more than be happy to assist or toss you a couple ideas.

Can't wait for more chapters!

I never liked Duchess. There, I said it.

But your story has made me feel pity for our little water fowl, even it's only because there is now someone I hate even more. Funny how that works out. Huh.

Either way, fabulous start! Can't wait to read more!

This was a good chapter. It was nice seeing Duchess's interaction with Faybelle and Hopper.

Also, could you use those OCs of mine that I told you about earlier in your story? I'll P.M you some more details I have in mind if you want.

I like this chapter can't wait for The Black Swan performance. Here is my oc, I hope you like her.

Rumor Wolf,Daughter of Gossip Wolf
Parent's Story:Gossip Wolf and The fox
Royal
Age:15
Female
Hair:dark brown with light brown and white highlights in a loose loose pony-tail
Eyes:Amber
Height:5'8
Her personal style: faded jeans and black tops and big-bad black boots.
Her personality:Shy,short-fused temper, and a bit of a loner, and kind to those she believes
deserves it.
Oh My Curses: I have to eat constantly or I pass out from lack of food.
Magical Touch: I can turn a wolf anytime I want but I hear the latest
gossip from 5 miles away.

Rumor Wolf came to Ever After High to improve her villainous destiny from her Uncle Big-Bad Wolf and to meet new people in a more diverse setting besides her pack of friends and family back home.
She doesn't trust easily to those who have Happily Ever, especially princess and her own fellow future villains.

Dang! This is wicked!
Loved loved loved this chapter! I was sceptical about this because Duchess really annoys me, but you better believe I'm hexcited to read the next chapter!
Sara's a tough one, so I'm excited to see where this rivalry between her and Duchess go!

Story Lover

This is going to be one interesting fanfiction to read. I d wonder what will happen in the next few chapters of this fanfiction. I wonder who will win the dance competition. Will it be duchess swan or Sara silberhaus. Only time will tell.

I consider this a great start to a good story. I want Duchess to beat Sara in the next Sadly Ever After.

update soon,

S.M

cool keep on writing