Eh, a couple things in your first chapter. She mentions looking at her television and seeing colored bars... I would assume that means the television is battery powered though... most battery powered televisions have outlets and its a bit odd that she would be running it on battery while still in her apartment, her choice of "hiking shorts" is odd... walking through the woods in GA is going to leave her bleeding... too much underbrush, thorns and such. I also found it odd that there were corpses in the hallway... if nothing put damaged the brains then her neighbor should have turned... I could only think that the zombies in her apartment building were killed by someone but it sounded like they just died after being chewed on. The stories pretty old by now so I'm assuming its a dead story, despite the notation at the bottom.

Love!

Hi. I know I am late and that you posted is a while ago, but I just wanted to let you know that I do read and enjoy your work. I cam here from you hunger games story , which I also loved! You put in so much effort in writing and I really appreciate it!

I really really wanted to like this but it's a rehash of the show. I wish the oc actually did something. she doesn't even really change the super ooc daryl. you've thrown her into plenty of scenerios that she could make small changes to the plot line but so far...nothing. I really so like your oc, she's all super amazing in everything she does but I had to stop reading after the whole coed prison thing. men and women are always separated on correctional facilities. even local princincts will have sperate holding cells.

More of this story?

AWESOME story! Update soon!

Hey, i absoultely love this story! U havent updated in a while and with season 8 starting soon it would be great read the last of season 7 beforehand! Hope ur finals went well! Please update soon :)

Rain seems to be consistently have an excuse to be away during moments she could have an impact on the story. She barely ever speaks during important moment's either. The whole time at the CDC, everyone is pleading and shouting for their lives yet Rain acted strangely calm and said nothing. She needs to do things. Otherwise this is just a copy paste of the show script, which to be honest is what it reads like.

Rain and Rick leading off the Walkers from Sophia is a good example of Rain doing something but also doing nothing. Her being with Rick changed nothing, I would say her inclusion was an entirely pointless move on your part as the writer. In terms of the logic of the TWD universe, it made zero sense for her to have led off the walkers with Rick. You only need one person to lead them off and Rick would never have left Sophia alone if he had another option. To include Rain in that scene and to not have Rick take advantage of having anouther person to protect Sophia, I feel threw Rick into ooc territory.

This entire chapter was almost a complete rehash of the TWD script of this episode beyond a few sentences of Rain's internal thoughts and a talk with Dale. I'm hopeful that this isn't one of those stories where the new characters presence changes nothing in the overall storyline.

Yeah dont know if you notice but you've written your character to point out flaws in others and then do the same thing, plus wicked stupid to have her drink herself stupid. So this had potential, but i can already see she is gonna annoy the shit out of me like those dumb girls on TV running in woods in heels. So thanx for writting but i cant go another chapter.

I know that you've already written the part about Merle, but I really hope you decided to keep him alive! :) can't wait to keep reading!

Omg! I did not see that coming! I can't believe the Governor is Rain's father! I just found this fanfic and I love it so far. Keep it up :)

Lovrly

who will u make the godfather

i got teary eyed during Maggie and Daryl's moment. it was about time too. they are about to go to war and excess baggage like this could be very distracting. :)