This is the most all-around solid of your fics that I've read so far (though the others are admittedly more ambitious). It opens well with the lunchtime exchange demonstrating Haruhi's characteristic presumptuousness. Even though it was likely unintentional, I like the double meaning of "I don't think I can stomach any more of this.", how it at first seems to refer to Haruhi's attitude.

The way you describe and portray Natsume is also effective. She feels like a real character, rather than just a device to trigger tension between Kyon and Haruhi. She's simple yet likable, and that adds a bittersweet flavor to the story's happy ending.

Setting this during Kyon's last year at North High is the sort of idea that it seems most writers don't think of, because there's no reason why this story couldn't take place shortly after the source material. The time frame, which is accentuated with details like Mikuru's having graduated, adds a sense of "do-or-die" to the central conflict. High school won't last forever, so if they don't get together now they never will.

I see you have Kyon's cynical wit turned on in this one. To be honest, I didn't find any of his remarks genuinely funny or clever, but the story is nonetheless the better for their inclusion because it makes Kyon feel more in character.

Haruhi's response to Natsume's confession is certainly a break from the convention for this sort of story, and it fits Haruhi's character: It's selfish, inconsiderate, and completely over-the-top with no guarantee of getting her what she wants. She's unwilling to take Kyon for herself but won't let anyone else have him either. However, I'm glad that you added that "now it's like she's become the same person she was two years ago", because she did gradually become a better person as the series went on, so it makes sense that she'd generally be above this sort of thing by her final year. Moreover, telling Kyon outright the real reason for taking them to the amusement park demonstrates a level of self-awareness and honesty that she never had in the source material, providing a good, somewhat subtle demonstration that she has indeed grown in those years. Finally, there's no question that if anything were to make her go back to her old ways, it would be the threat of losing Kyon.

That conversation between Kyon and Haruhi is both to-the-point and intensely sad for the most part, but there is one oddity there: "Her smile faded." I have a hard time picturing Haruhi smiling at any point in the conversation which precedes this.

The finale felt a bit off, mainly because I didn't get a clear sense of why Haruhi was able to answer Kyon this time when she couldn't before. Not bad, though, and the overall progression of the story is both logical and works in a couple surprises.

awww 3 I really love this

Nice short story!

This was great. I had a good time while reading. Fluff is always welcome.

Update Please 3

Again, I'm impressed by your work. To have Kyon confessed by a girl, right in front of Haruhi no less, is a good premise. Then, for Haruhi to have the whole S.O.S. Brigade go on a sudden trip to an amusement park was hilarious. The only question I have is this: Couldn't you have been more in depth with Haruhi's feelings? Like, Haruhi (on the surface) accept Natsume's feelings, but create many power closed spaces in the process. But, I'm content with the way this story was told.

What a nice story! The narrative was really well done. You did a great job capturing everyone's characters, especially Kyon. His thoughts and mental responses were on point. :)

I thought this was great and that you really captured the emotions character well