No updates for about a year now. Slithery is deaddd, and I'm soon to follow. Left off at the long awaited Avery centric chapter too.

Seems like the general consensus for Mallory's origin is a sappy love story gone wrong (as expected), but we readers (and now Celeste and Avery) know that it has sinister origins. Resistance against corruption is confirmed to be special. Coupling that with Narcissa's interest in Mallory and the mom Bellatrix theory is alive and kicking. Really, the only thing disapproving this theory so far is Mallory's lack of the Black characteristic beauty. I can't into symbolic readings of cards but the water theme it has and Regulus' cause of death...HMMMMMM. I mean, is he even old enough to conceivably be her father? Well, Avery is seemingly going to do the thinking for us and follow up on this subplot.

The Avery family is fucked up, to the surprise of no one. I've got a feeling that I don't want to know what the ritual entails. Poor Celeste. Hopefully, Avery will defect before the same happens to him, he's already starting to doubt his loyalty. I've got to admit that his little monologue about liking Mallory and her friends is more than a little adorable. I chuckled. I did not expect that one at all. This whole chapter is Avery making a bunch of excuses, trying to avoid his responsibilities and I'm so excited to see where this goes.

...Also, I'm borderline offended that Avery managed to easily trick me too. yEs, I've fallen for tHat one TOo.

Mallory's line of thought about the adults playing out a script, talking the pre-approved empathetic actions rather than honestly trying to empathize with a child, really hit hard. Is there a spell to kill every adult within a 10km radius and then adopt all of the children they're supposed to be caring for? Because I want that spell.

If the string of enraged comments on Mallory's behalf hasn't made it clear so far, this story is hitting home in a very personal way for me. It's ... it's really hard to read. I had the misfortune of having my well-being placed in the hands of some child protective service members who, well, I don't think I'm exaggerating when I say the level of willful blindness and actively damaging 'help' is actually worse than what's been show so far in this story. And I had to deal with far, far too many adults who *could not comprehend* the idea that protecting a child might require going off-script. And because of all that, this story is landing blows in some really personal ways. At some wounds I thought were fully healed a long time ago. But it's ... it's worth reading. In spite of that. Because of that.

Thank you.

Snape reminds me of why I *loathe* bigots so goddamn much, McGonagall is everything wrong with the practice of disciplinarianism and automatic respect for authority figures, Dumbledore needs to fucking grow a spine and clean house, and maybe I'm being a little unfair to the last two but those are definitely the sides of themselves they showed to Mallory and so I feel 100% justified expressing that opinion on her behalf.

Good for Mallory for seeing through the hazing. I'm already interested to see what she'll do as a second year mentor.

This whole story is absolutely riveting because it's showing real things that happen between bigoted children and bullied minority children and the adults who are supposed to be protecting them. It's horrifying, and gripping, and I can't stop reading.

This is an emotional piledriver to read. I was kind of expecting some canon Malfoy to Harry Potter levels of bullying going in, and then you straight up dropped real-world "this is what horribly bigoted kids to to minorities when they know they can get away with it" levels of bullying and a detailed picture of the trauma and nascent PTSD that's already resulted from 'just' one incident already.

And then Snape being a monster and *holy fuck that asshole can brew Veritaserum* oh my god I just realized that and now I hate him even more.

And then the assault and her stuff being destroyed and aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh.

On a slightly, slightly, slightly brighter note I can see why she's a Slytherin though. She's certainly got the spite for it, and that move at the end to get herself to scream was ... ruthless? I'm going to go with ruthless. Self-directed ruthlessness. She'll go far with that. If her brains aren't oozing over the floor by the second paragraph of the next chapter.

I like the many angles this is coming from and I'm still trying to get my head around what I think is actually happening. Different, and well written.

I have so many feelings and thoughts about this story. I'd like to preface by saying that you're a very talented writer and have written a complex story with believable characters and a few twists I didn't see coming. The concrit is mostly that I find most of the characters difficult to like. Sprout and the necromancer (and his potentially ambiguous motives), I like, and I find Dumbledore interesting, at least. But I'm struggling with the fact that the children are so unlikeable, and never seem to succeed in anything they try. By all means, I certainly subscribe to the idea that your characters will grow more if they only sometimes get what they want, and struggle is good for the soul and all, but so much struggle with such a complete lack of success or growth - mostly growth - is frustrating and wearing, even as I remain invested in the story. These are not children I'd want to be around in real life. Snape sometimes comes off as stupid instead of just cruel and complicated (Why does he keep telling Mallory "Silence!" every time she's supposed to speak? And why does another adult not point that out?), and Snape is certainly not a character I'd think of as stupid.
I very much appreciate the limited narrator aspect, and I appreciated it even more because of the chapter showing Dumbledore's thoughts. It makes the story feel less claustrophobic. Perhaps one of the limiting factors in the story is that Mallory... hmm. Mallory has some good mental hardware (all these gears turning in her head) but just a tremendously awful software running on them. The girl's brain is practically running on Windows 95. Or dialup. She hasn't been at Hogwarts very long, but at least a little growth by this point of the plot would still be gratifying. Toss the readers (or at least, this reader) a bone? I'd hesitate to say that this might not be an accurate representation of a particular muggle-raised 11-year-old Slytherin, but wow, it does make it difficult to remain in her head and point of view. It's just difficult to feel fully sympathetic by now.
I find what we know about Danny so far to be peculiar and wonder if there's more there than meets the eye. Of course it's hard not to assume that Mallory is the lost daughter of Bellatrix - or another Black - but you've certainly set up threads to imply that there's something off about Danny, just based on what we know about him so far, especially given that Mallory basically implied he has strong sociopathic tendencies (and messed up parents to go along) outside of her influence. I'll be interested to see if this goes anywhere.
I like the complexity of Dumbledore. He's less benevolent and powerful than the Dumbledore we're given in canon, but still believable, and not the "evil Dumbledore" caricature that so many fics like to employ. I liked to see his limitations and drawbacks combined with his chessmastering.
Blackthorn is fun. I love the contrast between his physical creepiness/chosen career with his history helping children and muggleborns. His competence and slightly sneering power are also entertaining, though it's hard not to wonder if his confidence might get him killed.
World-building regarding taboos, maps, and magical tradition are all intriguing notes, and at the same time, it's hard not to think that it would be a terrible world to live in... not that the reality lurking in the background of canon is actually that shiny, either.
All these things being said, I'm very interested to know what happens, and I am appreciating this story. But I do hope for at least a slight polishing on Mallory to make her a more sympathetic or relatable character, unless you're going for a straight-up anti-hero.
Very minor notes that stuck out while I was reading through: people have been rubbing the bridge of their nose bizarrely frequently, and someone's behavior would be reined in, not reigned in. Other than that, it's gleaming outside the occasional typo. Thank you for sharing your story!

Selwyn is a loner, can't say that I'm surprised. I'm not surprised that the school upped their security either. But being always escorted by a prefect or a professor is a negative for Mallory, that means that she will have to rely on Farley and the male prefect for transporting around, that sounds...inconvenient. Unless Mallory is going to be escorted by Aurors.

I've got a feeling that the twins are planning something important to the plot. Messing around with Farley huh.

Mallory's plans are crazy. Planning for the aftermath of your death instead of how to prevent it. Even as a backup plan, it won't be working anytime soon. If revival is something that can be achieved, everyone would be doing it. Taking the infamous dark lord as an example of success is outlandish to say the least.

Andddd cliffhanger end. Don't be so cruel Slithery T-T

This book is amazing! But I was hoping after so many chapters we would find out about her real lineage. There seems to be a lot of confusing aspects to the book. The situation with Danny hasn't been mentioned since she thought he was in danger, and yet it seems she hasn't talked to him like she did her parents. Overall this book is extremely well written and the depth to the characters is great. I'm in love with this you.

Welcome back! The long absence was slowly but surely killing me... It's honestly amazing, I just jumped back into reading the next chapter after a long break and still got almost immediately caught up in the constricting atmosphere of this chapter.

After reading the Dumbledore interlude, I thought I should mention that Quirrell's identity is left ambiguous. It isn't Voldemort, that probably means that it's Tom Riddle? That Quirrell is perhaps possessed by the diary instead of having Voldemort coexisting on the back of his head. Or it could be a new character.

I don't know much/don't remember much about the lore of the Harry Potter verse so I'm not seeing the huge problem in Blackthorn recruiting Muggleborns to his school. It's not as if they are muggles, he isn't actually breaking any rule. If I'm not understanding this wrong, it's an honorable cause to help expand the wizarding community.

Dumbledore seeing Mallory in "them" when she is glaring speaks volumes about the identity of "them". It implies that "them" aren't exactly the nicest people, not to mention that Dumbledore was worrying about Mallory being malicious. I do think that Dumbledore is above house biasism. It can't be because she is a Slytherin. Add on Dumbedore worrying about her records and the identity of her parents is getting more and more suspicious. Not sure why Dumbledore would risk his position for their child tho.

Can I just say that I love this chapter? Blackthorn is fantastic. The dynamics between him and Mallory were amusing. I found myself sympathizing with Blackthorn a lot more than Mallory. I really felt his frustration seeping through the words. Convincing Mallory of anything is a hard and long journey full of suffering, she is extremely stubborn (in her situation, it's smart but I can't help but sympathize with the adults around her. Especially when Blackthorn laughed in utmost despair at his impossible mission of keeping this kid alive)

I would be seriously considering locking Mallory up in a room or something, if I was him.

It seems to me like he is being sincere (I'm getting tricked here, aren't I? Still..I choose to believe in Blackthorn till the very end!)

Though, I think that Blackthorn semi tricked Mallory at the beginning. He said that the school's protections are falling apart and then he said that the protections depend on their secrecy. It would be entirely plausible that Blackthorn is saying that so Mallory would think that the protections are falling apart which would strengthen the protections.

Wait, so the consequences of broken oaths can be reversed? I thought, since oaths are dangerous magic that their effects would be irreversible and so the nurse won't be able to heal Mallory's not-so-normal wound?

I'm also looking at Blachthorn with lots of hope. Even though his first line about having a use for Mallory is plenty suspicious. I wonder what made him think that. Is it something in the newspaper? Considering that he delivered her newspaper back so he must've read it. Or he figured something out.

Mallory's ignorance about love was funny to read, especially since she was so sure of it

It was nice to see that Mallory's accusation actually spurred rumors in the castle. For better or for worse, her plan about spreading misinformation worked. Sorta. Now, I really want to see what Selwyn's opinion about all of it. His character is curious for me. Would he enjoy having the reputation of being a strong and menacing serial killer that is feared by everyone? Considering how he goes around threatening everyone, he might enjoy it.

Actually, Selwyn kinda strikes me as an all talk and no action sort of person. It might be his family's influence that drove him to think that being a scary bigot is some sort of honor medal. He technically did enjoy torturing both Mallory and Harper but he was also terrified after the initiation ended. Whether his fear was out of concern for Rowle and the rest (which I highly doubt) or some sort of belated emotion. Maybe he scared all along in the initiation but didn't show it. If that is the case then he really knows how to act. Or it could be that he figured out that the Carver attacked again and was scared because of that. (Mallory/Harper/Rowle all being missing is a clear sign of the Carver and so everyone must have had lingering suspicions that the Carver might have attacked Mallory and the rest. Even before they returned from the forest)

If that is the case then it all fits. Selwyn and his family are connected to the carver in some way. A way that made Selwyn terrified of him/her. Terrified at the prospect of him/her attacking again. And that is why Avery wanted to help Mallory/the aurors in an indirect way. Because catching the carver or knowing of carver's identity would affect the Selwyns in some negative way. That would work in the favor of his family. Avery's family are against Selwyn's family after all.

A big hole in this theory. Avery reacted to Harper's name when Mallory started guessing his motive. Avery wanted to help Harper, in fact, he was angry that he couldn't predict his future. But why? Harper is a half blood, how is he involved with Avery's family? There is no way that Avery helped him because of personal reasons like friendship. Since Avery as said by Vaisey is a loner with no friends. It isn't because Harper is his vassal either. If he was then Harper would have refused Rowle's deal at principal. Unless...can they switch the families they are allied to? No, that can't be it. There must be contracts and vows to make sure no family betrays the other. There is no way that Harper can switch from being Avery's vassal to Rowle's.

I really can't understand Avery's motive. Or why Selwyn was scared in the first place. Maybe Selwyn had seen something? Maybe he knows something.

About Avery, there is something curious about his actions in the forest. Avery had hexed Harper without caring. He did it while taunting Selwyn. That fits his character well, it fits the whole not caring because there is no consequences and no risk. But then why did he hesitate when it came to Mallory? Sure you could say that it was because he didn't like it but that goes for Harper too. If he really didn't like it that much, he would have used the same trick for Harper. Heck, he could have taunted Selwyn twice. He had no reason to out himself and possibly put himself in risk by casting a non harmful spell when Farley especially said to cast your strongest spell. He wouldn't risk the chance of angering Farley, no matter how small the chance actually is. Maybe it was because he pitied Mallory, because of the supersensory spell, but I find it puzzling that he freely hexed Harper. Unless his feelings about the initiation changed only after hexing Harper.

I'm starting to think that Avery doesn't have a high opinion on Farley. Openly dismissing her speeches and risking her wrath in the initiation.

Is there a deeper meaning for Danny's mom to hate Mallory. Probably not, it's probably just Mallory's reputation ruining her image. Danny's mom is a serious, no nonsense kind of mother. She reminds me of Petunia in that sense. She doesn't want her son to be associated with the likes of Mallory. She wants the best for him but without considering what he wants. That is my image of Danny's mom. Speaking of parents, didn't Mallory compare her appearance to her parents? Surely Mallory knows that she is adopted, so why would she compare her physical appearance to her adopted parents. That didn't make much sense.

Both Minerva and Albus are sad/shocked when they first met Mallory. I assumed that Snape hated Mallory because of the detriment she is causing to Slytherin's magic. But it could also be related to Mallory's mysterious mother. Though, I'm not big on that idea. It seems to me like it is just Snape being Snape, I think that playing the same trick of "Snape hating a certain student because of their parents" is too close to Harry's relationship with Snape.

Since I'm talking about the earlier chapters now, I should mention that I really liked the subtle foreshadowing. When the older student asked Harper to stop and he didn't listen. That did feel like foreshadowing of Harper, Rowle and the first years angering the seventh years, which caused their harsh punishment in the initiation. If that is the case, then Montague would have been punished too. If the initiation continued.

It is peculiar that the same older student who did that, turned up sick the next day. Were the older students sick because they were planning for the initiation? Nah, that's not it. Maybe they were sick because they broke a vow. That makes more sense. Since Farley mentioned that Flint's and Derrick's magic were weaker. That could have been the cause for their sickness/tired look. The question is, what vow did they break? And isn't the wizard who killed Rowle an oath breaker? Flint and Derrick are looking very suspicious now.

And on the case of the killer. The student who yelled that the teachers were coming is the killer, isn't he? He must have feigned being a student or maybe he isn't the killer. Maybe he is a puppet of the killer. No one remembers his identity, but if he was really a student then I would wager that he might be Derrick or Flint. There is no question that the lookout student is involved in a big way though.

Mallory noticing the shnk shnk sound of bones scraping against wood when Farley hit her with the spell was also another nice Easter egg.

My farfetched theories and analysis must be really funny to the author. Mostly because I know that it will all turn out to be wrong lol.

well crafted and compelling story which i've been reading instead of working

once there was a big, tough SAS man who got wet on a training run. It was August. It was on Salisbury Plain. He had spare socks with him and a towel but he was too big and tough to bother.
He died of hypothermia

Review number 50! Congratulations for reaching this milestone! Your fanfic really deserves much more. I can't comprehend why cliche fests fanfics get hundreds of favorites/reviews but not this fanfic.

Of course, Moody made an oath with Blackthorn. I imagine that they took many many other measures to make sure he doesn't get out of control and have his way in Britain. Now, I'm wondering why did he agree. Blackthorn really doesn't benefit from this, does he? He doesn't seem like the type to care about money so I'm willing to bet that they offered him something that they really can't offered. Like rare items or something among the lines of that.

Demons, nice. We are fighting against demons now, I hope that this is a hyperbole and it's actually just a small monster/animal. Who am I kidding? If dragons are a thing, it won't be surprising at all if demons were a thing. Nice.

Mallory really exploded there, can't blame her but still.

I'm excited for Mallory's grand plan for surviving or lack thereof. I missed Kit and the rest so they will probably appear soon? (hopefully not at the time of the attack, losing Rowle is one thing but losing Kit will change this story to a tragedy lol)

Yay we had double update (kinda?) although this chapter is a bit short. I'm super excited for the next chapter!

Please write more

You go Mallory!