Definitely missed some stuff here, will make sure to change those ASAP. But to anyone that bothers to read this story later on, do not expect a consistent flow of stories. These things take time and Taael and I are normal people with busy lives. But please keep making these reviews and PM us if you got any issues.

Not sure I can actually critique this without being biased though :P.

In your third sentence the semicolon should be just a colon.
.
Also, the comma should be after but.
This guy though. Even if I think he's a little critical, I do agree with most of the points he makes. Especially the point about Kirito being a Sue.

KZ (you know who mickey t)

First of all, sound effects should be italised, not written normally with the rest of the description. It's different from 'he fell to the ground with a thud'. You are always writing sound effects, it should be clear for what it is if not it's confusing.

Second of all, shinai is designed for two handed use. You cannot do both one handed and two handed attacks, that is not the way. The same thing with longswords, they are two handed weapons, not one handed weapons. Why would you use a shinai one handed? Ever? That's like shooting a pistol with one hand when everyone knows you should holding it with both hands

Third, OP Kirito. WHHHHYYY?

Have you miss the ENTIRE Internet on how his Gary Sueness being one of the worst traits, if not the worst traits of the show? Why would you write him as OP. No character has the right to be OP unless those characters are literal gods in that setting. No, bad very bad.

TOPPLED DICTATORS and DESTROYING TERRORIST ORGANISATIONS?! Have you ever seen that happening?! You topple a dicator, the entire process starts over and killing off Al-Qaeda would not end terrorism. This never happens ever, not by one person. Toppling dictators and destroying terrorist organisations takes DECADES and the WILL OF THE PEOPLE to do! The toppling of Mubarak in Egypt took constant rioting and killing off Mubarak does not end the violence. Economics, culture, religions, reforms, so many things you have to consider to make it work.

And CQC. Buddy, CQC consist of shotguns and submachineguns, NOT SWORDS. It requires a small team of soldiers with YEARS of training and experience to do properly. And you want me to believe this CHILD does this?Okay, I may not know what weapon Kirito uses but I'm guessing swords but no, gun beats swords. And if it's guns, no I don't care, even Naked Snake's CQC is useles in a lot of situations.

You want Kirito to be a kickass kendo champion, I'm cool with that. But to him to never lose? And people watch him? What's the point of watching a match where only one person wins all the time? It's like you took ab Olympian and match him againts high school kids, it's boring. People expect the Olympian to win over and over again and no one wants to watch that.

Data Compilation ... so sizing your opponent. That's nothing fancy, why are you giving it a name? Everyone but the stupidest of people does this. A street fight could break between you and I right now and we'd both size each other up. Don't give it a pointless name.

... DESTROYING THE SHINAI?! WHY WOULD YOU THAT?! Do you honestly think this is what people do back in ancient times and right now? "Hmm, the other man has a spear, I will destroy his spear!" No, you disarm him. You shouldn't have Kirito destroy the shinai, you want her disarmed. Then hit the shoulder or hand or arm, that'd be enough. What if that shinai was given to her by her dead grandfather? Kirito just destroyed it! What an asshole!

Erm, no, combos do not take time to prepare. Combos are quick, unexpectable and do not have 'prepare' time. I know enough about swordfighting to know that is not the case. In fact, I can very much show you a few videos on YouTube that is actually the case. And for the most part, we call them techniques.

A camera with high enough FPS? Dude, the year's like 2020s. This is not Bruce Lee's time where they actually didn't have a good camera to catch his quick movements.

Finally, there should be a line seperating the story and the author's notes. Check it in FF's own word editor, it's there.

I honestly don't know where you're going with this. One, Kirito's a Sue and that is a giant No. No. We don't want his Sue. No one wants his Sue. There's an entire forum on the SAO Fandom Nexus guiding writers in not how to write him as a Sue. Get rid of it.

The idea of sending into an already launched SAO is interesting, but knowing this Kirito, he's gonna have 50 girls as his harem in a week, punch a dragon to death, and get the legendary weapon in the dangerous dungeon in minutes.

Why would anyone bother reading a story where the protagonist never loses?