this is some beautiful works of art. keep it up :D

More, I WANT MORE, GIVE ME MOREEEE

I like the setup here (assuming your summary is accurate). Your writing skill seems somewhere between 6 (good enough that I can immerse myself in the story without getting distracted by mistakes) and 7 (the phrasing brings more depth and meaning to the story), so I like it! It could be better, but so can a lot of things. It's good enough to enjoy, and that's what matters.
Update whenever the next chapter is ready and enjoy the smiley face emoticon!
:)

You remind me of myself. First chapter quite short also. Try to make longer chapters. I recomend a minimum of 1500 words. If not, I am ok. Nice first chapter. Good luck on future