UPDATE

Fantastic story and looking forward to watching zDumbles go down and Sirius freed. Well done.

You have excellent plot and your writing style is very smooth! Please update you have me hanging at the words

Aww please finish this story.

Please write more, the Story is really good!

Excellent story. A nice blend of the various cliches and a compelling read. Any chance of another chapter sometime soon?

continua

Two more things you forgot. Daphne and Harry already had the talk about him calling her ‘Daph’ in public and Dumbledore already knew Harry was going to be there for the trial. You’ve also got an unbalanced power scale. Daphne casually conjured chairs for her and Harry while he just as casually transfigured a couch, so why were they so shocked about the director of the DMLE doing it? I suppose you could say it was because she did it silently, but that still shouldn’t be surprising given who she is and I’m fairly certain you had Daphne and Harry do it silently as well.

You seem to forget things you’ve already done. For instance, Harry was shocked when she ‘passionately’ kissed him, as if they hadn’t already spent several hours snogging in a broom cupboard daysmaybe weeks prior. Harry also asked her to be his girlfriend on either the Hogsmeade date or the day he told her about his childhood (I forgot which one, just know that he did) and he’s referred to her as his girlfriend many times since, yet he had to ask her out again just how because they apparently weren’t going out yet.

Oh joy. If the needles kiddy pissing contest wasn’t bad enough, you also include the ‘errant thought’ trope. Be honest, have you EVER sat there thinking about something and then got confused because you randomly thought someone was cute? Even if you did think they were cute, no one ever catches their thoughts that quickly and no one is confused about finding someone cute. You either do or you don’t, there’s nothing to be confused about. This trope had to have been started by someone who has no frame of reference for attraction or romance.

Before you try justify how quickly she catches her thoughts, two things. First, if you use occlumency to justify it then you’ve messed up since she wouldn’t let her thoughts stray that much in the first place if she was good at it. Second, justifying that doesn’t justify the other issues with the trope anyways.

You also seem to think having them all talk like robots and use formal addresses makes them seem smart. It’s just uncomfortable, like a ten-year-old TRYING to outsmart someone by using bigger words than they’re comfortable fitting into sentences and talking to other kids like pretentious (I know it seems hypocritical, but it was honestly the only word I could think of that fit) twats.

It bothers me when authors have Harry ‘boast’ about his intellect, when all he really did was say he had limited knowledge of a subject he should know all about and claimed to not be that dumb. It bothers me even more when they have actually intelligent characters be impressed by that. Literally all he said was “I’m famous, I don’t know much about my family and I’m not as dumb as you think.” He didn’t even provide an explanation for that last one, but Daphne still gets shocked and calls it ‘deep thinking’. Are you serious? If you want to make him impress her, actually make him do something impressive instead of lowering her standards so far that she’s impressed by him actually proving what Snape and Malfoy said to be true.

This is really good! Please update!

OK, I BELEAVE YOU HAVE CHAPTER 14 CLOSE TO FINNISH. I HOPE YOU'LL AGREE THAT YOUR FOLLOWER ARE READY FOR YOUR NEXT UPDATE.
I HOPE THIS FINES YOU WELL WITH YOUR SCHOOLING COMPLETE AND YOU ENJOYING THE FRUIT OF IT WITH GOOD ENPLOYMENT.
AN IF YOU HAVE STARTED A FAMILY, WITH BEST WISHES TOO YOU BOTH.

Thank you for a great story