you need to read your first chapter.
how can warrior you described him as, be a bad ass in the first chap, only to be pretty much useless in a fight in later chap's, you do know that a wizard is far more bad ass then jedi. thats why jedi need a lightsaber because they're shit at the force compaired to a wizard. is your harry even a wizard anymore. or do you know anything about magic, or spell craft? the jedi are weak and useless in force skills

this isnt a fic where harry loses his magic... which is far more verityle. 'cause that would suck and a waste of time. oh and this
like Last Second Surviver, and a few others but plume started this plot.

"Aayla and I"

Besides your very bad grammar and sentence structure my issue was you would skip over an event then next chapter go over the event even though you had already passed it. Also you need to mark when and where you jump forward and backward in time/story.

So, Ron attacks Harry after discontent involving Hermione and Harry falls through the Veil from Lightning Among the Stars and most of what happened with Aayla was from Last Second Savior. Good job making the time 3 minutes instead of 2, it really made it clear that you weren't using the same idea at all.

Well... it's quite obvious that you need a beta and to learn to use spelling and grammar check.

Not enough detail. Poor spelling and grammar. Good points are a decent basic plot (at least for what as I have read so far) I would suggest that a good beta might resolve some of your issues.

How can it be an improved version when the spelling and story arrangement is worse than the original version?

I'm rereading this again to see the direction the rewrite will be going and already can see how much better written the new version Star Wars Legends chapter 1 is compared to this, a lot of spelling and grammar mistakes here and I remember when I read the rewrite chapter 1 flowed a lot better. It's good being able to compare the two, nice job with the rewrite.

is harry going to pair with just aayla or is he going to be with more and can you post more ch I love this stoory

I really prefer the start of this story.

Are you going to continue it?

Needs another pass. There are many grammatical errors and incorrect words used in various sentences. For example: "His shoulder was board" - the shoulders should be plural, and I suspect you meant to say "broad".

Reading this chapter, your spelling is a bit bad and your sentence structure is strange - is English not your first language?

I'd suggest using a better word processor program to write in, some of the better ones can check grammar in addition to spelling, which will greatly improve the quality of your writing.

Love what you got so far. Looking forward to the next installment.

Well the story is good. It makes sense, there's no unnecessary overpowering of characters. Unfortunately, your writing needs work. Your grammar is littered with mistakes, although your spelling is rather good, and the setting seems to jump from place to place without warning. I did like the creative use of the Portus spell, however. I never considered that an object could be made into a portkey in order to transport it, and yet it is, in fact, canom that a portkey can do just that. Keep up the good work, and get someone to help you with the not-so-good parts.