Wetwork; for some reason my mind goes to Brent Weeks books.
Regardless, a very well-written story, though parts of it were a wee bit hard to follow. I chalk that up to my own reading problems though. Very good.

Keep it up!

Pringles is life, Pringles is love.

There's this amazing subtle quality to your writing; it's almost as if you're painting this beautiful picture around the subject instead of inking the subject itself, leaving the readers to fill in the blanks with their own brushes. Cases in point: the heated exchange in CH 1 (had me choked up a little), and the... err... heated exchange in CH2. Never used ohis hands, huh? Such Talon. Much cheeky.

I love it. Literally cannot wait to read more from you.

Thank you sooooooooooo much for this! All the wait was totally worth it! I hope you find some inspiration to continue this masterpiece!

Finally something fresh, this is the story I was hoping for. The part with a dispute over who did what was extremely well thought of. I'm looking forward to this story and more stories from you, if you ever happen to write something else.

Hmmm... i really like the way you write, it is really entertaining and also the way yo udescribe the details, i hope this continues, i don't know if this would become more but if its become in an story, i would have the pleasure to read it... and i love pringles too...

Now I know I have to follow you.

When I was looking though the archives, I could not believe I found this little gem. Glad I did because the emotional appeal you created pulled me in as they were meshed well. Nice job.

I liked this. It was an interesting way to explore their emotions and characters.

At first I thought it was Katarina, and I think it should have been. (The lore doesn't specify their age when they meet, nor their age, so this could have been before that. Your choice, nonetheless.

Try and have new lines when someone starts speaking, it makes for easier reading.

I love the emotions you present with the characters and I love the fact that you used a Talon / OC relationship.
I hope this was not a oneshot and that you will continue writing this story with more chapters. I like reading Talon stories so please if you feel like it, I would like to see more.

Hmm... I like this, it shows a lot of emotions of both characters, i don't know if you will do another chapter but if you do it would a pleasure to read it :)