| Reviews for Electric Dawn |
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EtUA9 chapter 1 . 9/4/2018 Veri n1c3ym8st0rij8 |
0SM4j chapter 1 . 9/3/2018 Veri n1c3GmBst0rina |
LDjUy chapter 1 . 9/2/2018 Veri n1c3EEjst0riRt |
ThanosofTitan chapter 24 . 9/3/2015 Very action-packed chapter, but I find many parts of it confusing. Namely: - Why would NEIS send persocom assassins after their own employees? - Why would Chris suspect Ivy of being one, when she wasn't a NEIS persocom? - If all persocoms have complete free will now, why would the assassins obey their orders unquestioningly, and wouldn't it be possible to reason with them? Still, I'm interested in seeing where this goes. Please continue. |
Guest chapter 23 . 5/26/2015 Great chapter, nice introspection at the beginning, with very detailed descriptions of Titch's thought processes. Although she comes off sort of unlivable at first in this chapter, she does a lot to redeem herself. It's also interesting that she wasn't jealous of Sarah like she was of Ivy. The raid and escape was very exciting and suspenseful. Titch was clever and resourceful, only making the mistake of misjudging the length of the cord, but you really can't blame her, considering the stress of the situation. I'm glad she made it out safely. The police raid bodes poorly for Chris and Ivy, and it makes me curious about what's going on, and the persocom who was working with the police. I can't wait to see how this develops. Also, I should be beginning major work on my next chairs very soon, so look forward to it either later this month or towards the beginning of next month. |
ThanosofTitan chapter 23 . 5/26/2015 That's weird, I was sure I submitted a long and detailed review this morning, but it's not showing up. Anyway, great chapter, good characterization of Titch, great suspense and excitement, keep it up. |
ThanosofTitan chapter 22 . 5/16/2015 Poor Ivy, you really can't help feeling for her after reading this chapter. I like how you described her thought processes as well. Sarah's sudden move was pretty unexpected... Hopefully she'll realize that now is not the time at all for this kind of thing. Also, I like how you're keeping any potential pairings up in the air. So far you've teased Chris/Titch, Chris/Ivy, and Chris/Sarah, but I have no idea if any of those are going to happen or not. Also, I get the feeling that Ivy is going to run into Titch on her walk. I'm eagerly anticipating the continuation. |
ThanosofTitan chapter 21 . 4/20/2015 Nice conclusion to the flashback (assuming this is the conclusion, of course). Mordecai is really an asshole, it's unsettling just how eager he seemed to be to effectively execute another one of his own kind. Makes me wonder what he's been up to since. I had a feeling that Caz and Mika were working with Holly the whole time; I'm glad everything turned out okay. In future chapters perhaps those three could meet up with Ivy and they could all take turns making fun of Chris some more, that would be pretty funny. Looking forward to see Titch's reunion with Ivy and Chris and how they work out their issues. |
ThanosofTitan chapter 20 . 4/16/2015 Ah, so the flashback isn't quite over yet. Well, that's okay. I'm beginning to really like Caz BTW, she sounds like she would be fun to hang out with. I hope we see more of her, Mika, and Holly once the flashback concludes. It's also surprising that Chris can't seem to appreciate how smart and human they are, but I guess that's what preconceptions do for you (we all know there's a lot of examples of that kind of attitude in my story as well). I also liked the interactions between Chris and Titch, I'd like to see more of that. I really love this story BTW, and you actually provide me with a good deal of inspiration for my own writing (which I may be slightly behind on, but I will keep doing my best). |
ThanosofTitan chapter 19 . 2/1/2015 Nice conclusion to the flashback, although it seems that Chris was really insistent on deluding himself about the nature of persocoms - he should read Minako's book ;) Seriously though, I liked the chapter. I'm wondering if you can draw a picture of Holly, as I'm having some trouble picturing what she looks like in my mind. I also wonder what will happen if Angie sees Chris again and recognizes him. I'm looking forward to the next chapter, and the inevitable confrontation between Titch and Ivy. |
ThanosofTitan chapter 18 . 1/26/2015 A very good chapter, it kept the suspense up very well, and really made me worry about Titch and admire Holly and Chris for going so far to try to save her. I also liked more of the insights into the day-to-day operations of the factory, which fit more naturally into the story this time rather than being just a long explanation. I look forward to the next chapter and hope Titch gets rescued then. |
Ruthalas chapter 18 . 1/26/2015 Glad to see you back and writing x00r! You are certainly keeping me on the edge of my seat. I enjoyed the look at a different side of the facility- though Trevor seemed remarkably sinister. The trick with Holly's spare UUID was clever, and not using Holly as an easy plot resolver is admirable. Can't wait to see what happens next. Thank you! |
ThanosofTitan chapter 17 . 12/14/2014 Nice chapter, I kept waiting for an update on this. I really like Holly, she seems to have her heart in the right place. I hope we get to see more of her in the present after the flashback ends. You do a good job of building up tension, even though we know that Titch is going to be alright, it's interesting to wonder just what will happen. I hope Holly doesn't get in too much trouble for helping them, though. Looking forward to the next chapter. |
battledragon chapter 17 . 12/14/2014 excellent story I am really enjoying it and look forward to the next chapter |
ThanosofTitan chapter 16 . 10/29/2014 Cute chapter. It's nice to see that James cares about the safety and welfare of persocoms. I'm also really starting to like Holly, she's an effective assistant and diligent worker, but isn't afraid to speak her mind when she feels like it. I hope we see more of her later on. The initial meeting with Titch was also nice, I'd like to see how her personality continues to develop past the event where she's first infected, and how Chris reacts. Looking forward to the next chapter with a lot of anticipation! |