I have to say this story is full of a kind of a despair, almost exhaustion. It's a sharp contrast to the cannon universe. Still, there does seem an undercurrent of hope in all this. I like the unusual grouping of characters, most seem focus on cannon 'cliques' I guess you could say.

That said, I would be careful of making them TOO depressive. Under the circumstances I doubt anybody could keep up a happy face too well, but I really can't see Rigby as outright suicidal. And Margaret seems just a bit unstable... But maybe that one is just me.

I hope this doesn't sound harsh, but why all the italics? Italics are used emphasize or draw attention to something. But like this they're a distraction from the story, it's hard to tell if it's past or present.

I can see this hasn't been updated in awhile, which is fine, life happens. But if you do continue, I'd like to say I hope a happy ending is planned.

Looking forward to reading more!

Wow! This story is insane! I love it so much and I can't wait to see where you take it! :)

This is very well written and I can't wait to see what happens next. :)

DAMN! long review there yogurt O_o

In reply to Yogurt,

Thanks for the review. :)

I am sorry the story is not going in the direction you were hoping for, and I honestly just essentially will some times write things on the spot when listening to music, (the reason there could be plot holes or things that are hard to believe.) I do appreciate your reviews though, because at least I can find what I'm doing wrong. I am unfamiliar with make-up, so honestly; I just guessed it would have that reaction when mixed with tears and hair. The reason Margaret's mood fluctuates so rapidly in my mind is because when she actually accepts them, it overwhelms her... However, in a sense, she is able to somewhat dismiss it in a flash, and ignore it; almost as if it never happened... Almost bipolar in a sense, but not the exact definition of it. It wasn't the most thought out decision, and I realize I probably took a wrong turn with it. And it is fine, I'd rather you be harsh and truthful than nice and dishonest. :) But I'll go back and fix that, and make it more believable. I will also attempt to reduce my commas, semi-colons, and etc, so the story doesn't seem so choppy. I have not began to write next chapter, but when I do; I'll keep your words in mind. And thank you. :)

And to answer your questions.

1. Skips gave Rigby two days off; the day in the most previous chapter is the second day, he goes to work the next day.
2. Yes; not to spoil anything, but he will pick them up next chapter.
3. Chad and Jeremy will be reoccurring. When Rigby returns to work is when their story will continue to develop.

Thanks again for the review. :)

What I find to be the most unsettling thing about this story, aside from the choppiness that your excessive commas and semicolons, is Rigby's housing situation. I understand why he'd be upset by that, okay. But now he's so depressed, suffering so badly, aw man life is just downright hell. His new view on reality- everything got soooOooo bad after he got kicked out over the course of a few hours. Margaret is so emotionally fragile the night before after finding out her mother is dying- though in the canon I think she'd react more drastically if it were her father- that she dirties her hair with make up and tears? I wear make up and I've had nervous break downs, but my hair never became dirty and messy from it? Margaret's transformation from being a sudden lunatic to a normal individual is frightening and if Rigby had half the mind of a reasonable individual, he would have sent her to a hospital. But suddenly they need each other and lean on the other person after a short encounter... which is confusing to me. Another issue with formatting is how you end every paragraph with ... and italicize random things. I don't know if that has to do with a hidden message either but it's really quite distracting and makes your writing so hard to read. Also, I've taken note of your excellent range of vocabulary through these published chapters and it hurts me how often you use the adverb "gently". The repetition of certain words like "car" and "door" in this chapter killed me, though it's understandable that it may be hard to find other words for such objects. There are definitely ways to work around that if you think a little harder. Your symbolism and metaphors, when found, are well done and allude a bit more into who the characters are (i.e. when Rigby compares his words to tetris). Everything that happens is very slow and painful to read, and it is definitely not stylistic like you may think for a story to have all the characters aside from Thomas be oddly depressive. Rigby, when he opened up to Margaret in the car, was the biggest shit in the universe. He undertoned her issues with his own internal struggle, which would've most likely pissed her off and belittle her emotions but rather in your context calmed her down. "Rigby's depressed and suicidal? Now I have to be a hero for him, too!" Sudden change in perception over a really cocky thing, I guess. Also, the song lyrics really aren't easter eggs for the reader because you spoon feed us so much half-baked philosophy about how life is pain that any little bite-sized portions of meaning get washed away. If the reader can't contextualize the hidden message and relate it to the main story, then it's a waste. The rise and fall of the plot has also made it confusing as to where you're taking this story, which can be okay, but doesn't offer your audience any constant variable to pull them along. Before writing anything, you need to keep in mind the end results- it can waver, yes- but there should be a theme of it throughout the story. I'm sorry to sound harsh but your work had so much potential and I'm utterly let down by where you're continuing it. What could be nice is if you further Rigby's relationship with Margaret slower, maybe over a few weeks or months. In that time, Thomas could be communicating with Mordecai and we slowly find our that his relationship with CJ is losing strength, his life is getting worse. In that time, Rigby's life improves greatly; he moves in with Thomas, solidifies his friendship with Margaret. Eventually Mordecai forces himself to return to the park and finds himself in a similar position to Rigby in the beginning of the story. The development in the intermediate phase should be slow, it can be a set of long vignettes and short stories connecting to the long run plot like a tv show so we become more attached to the characters and sympathize more and more with Mordecai during his downfall. You don't have to follow that story exactly or at all, but there is a level of consistency and flow in it that could correct initial errors. Before I leave you today, I have a few questions. A) Why didn't Rigby have work the following day? B) Will he pick up his belongings from the motel? C) How will Chad and Jeremy help with the continuation of the plot or will they just be fillers?
Again, I am so so so sorry that I've left such atrocious commentary. This work requires a lot, a lot of work. I really do hope to follow you as you improve as an author and I'm excited about where you'll find yourself at the end of the work. ️️️ yogurt

Oh jeez I forgot about something else I wanted in my review: When will Mordecai call Rigby? and dang, that's quite a review there, "yogurt" lol

Good chapter! I liked it. I would have reviewed earlier, however I was in Kansas City for the past 5 days so I couldn't get on to check the story. Well, see ya in Chapter 15!

Nice chapter! I can't wait until Rigby get's to talk to Mordecai.

This is getting better and better.

I'm glad to see Rigby and Margaret are growing a little closer and are able to comfort each other. Hopefully things will start looking brighter for both of them. I was bummed that Rigby missed the call from Mordecai. I'm looking forward to see what the two will say to each other if/when they finally do talk. Nice job!

Also, I worded final, when I meant to say last or most recent; when I was talking about the car ride. Sorry about that, haha. :)

In reply to Yogurt,

Thanks for the review. :) Well, technically; the music I use isn't meant to directly relate to the story; I try to make it puzzled, as in the direct meaning isn't exactly related. There are many hidden meanings under each lyric. The only time it was entirely and technically meant to describe the scene was in the final car ride with Rigby and Margaret, as in; it was meant to show somewhat of his brief relationship with Eileen. With the songs before that; there are very tiny meanings that I leave as almost a miniature puzzle. Margaret's hair becomes dirty due to her make-up, and tears becoming a mixture and matting within it. Also; Rigby is not actually fired, he just is unable to live at the park while working at it. I apologize though that it seems too melodramatic, as I am attempting to keep it real as possible, with some of my own imagination.

Thanks again for the review. :)

My issue with this story is that the characters are meladramatic- to the point that I hate them. They're always in agony or despair and Margaret's needy. Like, she finds out her mom's cancer relapsed and it resulted in her hitting a computer and getting cut and suddenly her hair is dirty and covering her eyes. Rigby sounds like an anime protagonist. Too much drama happens all at once- the day that Rigby gets fired is also the day he finds Margaret again, her mom gets diagnosed with cancer again, he sees Eileen again, he is seriously injured by a pen (Margaret is not responding in a healthy, sane way), and Mordecai calls Thomas. While I do appreciate the suspense, I feel like the action is rushed and the characters emotions are unnatural. I think your usage of music is a little bit wasted, we always hear irrelevant song lyrics to describe the scene and play with the character's feelings but it's basically in every car scene and feels cliche at this point. It would be understandable if you used this effect to highlight similtarities in the scenes but you're putting too much weight on that. There are, quite a few; formatting errors with, excessive commas and choppy sentences that make reading, choppy and- hard to read. Also, a lot of illegable stuttering. Not a bad story but does need some work, very anime in the way the action rises but that's the reason I don't watch anime.

So...beautiful.

I smell a Rigby x Margaret story! I haven't seen many of those.

Even if it isn't, I'll be waiting for Mordecai's Phone call, this is really gonna cheer Rigby up.

I liked it. Pretty good. Can't wait for Chapter 14 :)