I agree with Naruto that Grayfia is way more beautiful than Mei. What Naruto said about seeing and knowing everything, I take it it was the work of Kabuto? Since you mentioned he was a former enemy and he's also a very good spy, I can only think of him.

You know, for a moment you nearly made me drop this fic. When Grayfia told Naruto about Evil Pieces, I thought he would join Rias' peerage to both get access to the Gremory's vault and to go become a devil, grow higher in the ranks and finally be given an Evil Pieces Set. I had to go to the end of this chapter and read the A/N to be reassured. Usually I never do that, but since I had already aknowledged he wouldn't go the road of becoming a devil during chapter one, I needed this reassurance.

Still, he got both Ophis and Great Red in his peerage. Way to go Naruto! It would be great if he could get Issei before Rias, even if it means he has to train him from ground on.

You wrote half of that in one evening? That's a way to go. Kudos!

I loved how you put so much of implicit in the story. For nearly the entirety of the story you didn't tell Naruto's name, you just told his story. And it was great. Same for Grayfia or when she broke through the safe. We only could guess it was her thanks to her ice magic, the fact Sirzechs wasn't married to her and that she refered to someone as 'master'. Again for Mirajane, we could only guess it was her because you told us her sister was thought dead when she actually wasn't. Or again the scar Sasuke left to Naruto's chest. All of that makes it much more enthralling.

I just have one question if it's inappropriate. Reassure me, neither Rias, Sonia nor thier female peerage will become part of Naruto's harem? Honestly, as far as I'm concerned they're just little princesses that do not deserve someone such as Naruto. Rias even more because I hate her for a lot of reasons I won't bother write here, unless of course you are interested. Anyway, Rias or not Rias? Please tell me she won't.

About the plot itself, it's really refreshing to have an enemy that's not part of either the home world of Naruto or his new world. That's a good change of pace.

Very good prologue, I hope you will keep up the quality. Thank you for this first great chapter!

So...

Naruto sounds like a cartoom villain. "Hmhmhm yes my dear, good job with the heist, my plan is coming together nicely, ooohohohoho!"

Weird choice of charactrrization for our hero.

And why is the entire Gremory family talking using japanese honorifics? Sure Rias is an otaku, sure. And i can understand Sirzech's talking like that to humor Rias and have fun. But his son? And his wife? Why?

Você fez um lixo de história, muito mal feito... Querer mudar a história original de Naruto para fazer essa porcaria, isso ficou um lixo sem criatividade, se eu algum dia eu descobrir quem você é eu vou acabar com a sua raça, torça para eu nunca descobrir quem você é, pois se eu descobrir esse dia será o seu fim.

dude, use english words, japanese is sick bitch

disgusting sjw trash

Q

PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON PLEASE UPDATE SOON v

please update soon

U are cruel than legion man u put this story on hiatus
Please update my Friend .this fic is great and has shown lots of potential itself and by writer

Its bad.
A mess.
So many element with no synergy, no transition.
So many useless element in your narrative.

Confusing, nonsense, superficial.
Those are the word that would describe the experience.
I could argue more explicitly, with more detail.
But its not worth it.
Because what can be said has already been said over and over.

cuando la sigues esta genial Naruto x Grayfia

update soon

very interesting hope for more chapters

No offense but I find your writing style boring... I mean I literally fell asleep reading the 2nd half of ch1 to half of ch3. Maybe its the dialogue or the overly long unnecessary details. I like what the fic is about btw. Its just...

I'm not surprised why an almost 3 year old fic only got this much reviews compared to others in this section. Anyway i'm no writer... only read atleast a thousand long fics in this site so I don''t know what i'm talking bout.