It was a very nice fanfiction; moreover with my favorite pairing JJ/Spence \(-'w'-)/

Considering your substantial difficulties with English, you did well; better than many so-called authors.

I want to know where you got the name of Askari? It means a native (black) soldier or policeman in African countries formerly ruled by Great Britain, like Kenya. It is also used in a sort of slang way to describe younger bull elephants who assist an older elephant, to gain experience from him.

Where did you see this word, and was this Askari in a different fic by you?

One of your recurring English mistakes (and there are many) is calling a "living room" a "leaving room." And you need "ceiling" for the roof of a room, not "sailing." "Sailing" means to take a trip by boat or ship.

Finally, if a knife is plunged/stabbed into a leg, it will not block blood flow. And such a wound may be incapacitating. My son was a soldier and later a security contractor in Iraq. In the latter role, he had a Peshmerga/Kurdish machinegunner in his truck. A crazy jihadist ran up and stabbed this Kurd in the leg. The wound was severe and he had to quit his job. He was lucky to survive. Real wounds are not like on TV.

I think you'd have been better off to have had him just torture JJ with electricity or carefully whip her or force her to stay locked in a small hole in the concrete floor for hours. It would cause pain and humiliation but not permanently mar her. You don't want to leave her with scars, I hope? As a man, I am sensitive to a girl's appearance. I suspect that women are even more sensitive to that.

I think this story should be Rated as Mature. Authors try to get away with underrating stories, so as to have more people see the story. Fewer readers check the Mature section. But with this much violence and swear words, it should be Mature.

These are my main criticisms. Otherwise, the story was creative and you had the characters speak as they would. I have seen far worse stories written by native English speakers.

Nice ending. A sequel please! But more family moments. I would like to see a story from you, about family life of JJ and Reid along woth Herny and little girl. At Hawaii on holiday, with team including both Emily Prentiss and Alex Blake.. Amazing story! Keep writing! You are really talented! Go for it! ;-)

Nice ending!

" Mummy kissed Spence!" Yay! Nice one.. Update soon! ;-)

I'm so glad she's doing so good. Looking forward to see their relationship develop. Good chapter!

Love the story! Update soon!

Such a good story, looking forward to see JJ recuperate.

Nice one! Speechless! Can't wait nex one. :-) ;-)

I'm really looking forward for the next chapter!

Nice one! I cried through this chapter.. It's really nice to see JJ awake. I love how you put her sister in this chapter, really nice to see sister bond. I hope a little bit of a romance between JJ and Reid. And little Henry too. Update soon. :-) ;-)

Nice chapter! I think JJ is with her dead sister. Team bonding, I don't see it often, but this one
was really nice. Next chapet, please! :-)

Great chapter! Love the ending, glad that JJ is saved! Recovery, and family moments, please! :-) Kisses :-*

Great chapter, glad JJ was rescued, now she can try to recover!

Please, continue the story! I love it, it's amazing.. Maybe a little bit of Spence*JJ moments(even Henry with them) please!