Very nice! I loved the story you made it was very captivating. Almost inspiring! Thank you for this it was refreshing.

Everything was good except the end. It doesn't make any sense at what happened the end. You got the tragedy right on the masters and apprentices, but the ending seems rushed. I give it 6 out of 10.

I was a little skeptical of the "journal entry" format, but there could be no doubt one as grossly incandescent as yourself could pull it off and make it amazing :3