Is this written for little children or something? cause what the bloody hell this is so stupid and dumb! And you repeat things so much it's boring.
-Why didn't take his parents not bring sirius and moony with them?
-Harry sees fawkes and now what that means why then take the damn letter!
-Dumbdumb doesn't go with fawkes if it can reach harry nor take harry? only damn much later come with a tracking charm, then can moony enter and later dumbles himself. While students left and come to the same school? wtf! how is this save and hidden?
Dumbles is way to easy to get rid of once there he would not be stoppable to reach harry, besides that in all the damn magical schools in the world the other kids they somehow end up there? for that matter bit strange no shouting or angry kids.
-Asking to marry him just like that, really without first dating or something?
-Defeating voldy in the end was too easy, considering you mostly forget the soul pieces i think, while his mother removed it out of his head.
Never mind the rest cause there is more wrong, damn wasted my time reading this.

This story would have been good except for seeming to be written by an 8 year old with no sense of past or present tenses.

Afraid that's it for me. Glad I read the Sprinter stories you mentioned before attempting yours as they were far the better.

Hey Handsome Jack here just giving you a little review.
This is shit and I'm not talking about the shit that comes out of Buttstalion no this is the type of shit that Claptrap would write and leave everywhere so the skags would eat it and digest it and then shit it out in the road as the get hit by bandits driving to one of my eridum mines. So please try again but with someone other than Claptrap someone competent someone like the one second only to me as you obviously don't deserve to the best but second best.

WOW THIS SOUNDED LIKE A GOOD IDEA BUT BY GOLLY YOU NEED TO TRY AGAIN MAYBE A REWRITE WITH A BETA. BECAUSE THIS SOUNDS LIKE THE THING JACK WOULD HAVE WRITTEN FOR THE PRISONERS OF THE HELIOS.

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My recommendation is not to read this.

The idea is good. The exucition is chopoy. What do the common rooms look like? How many students in dorm room? What's bed set up like? How are the bedrooms in the house Granger's set up? There should have been more present exchanged on Christmas not just Hermione to Harry. Personalities of there new friends? Present exchange is good way to do that who got whom what how they open presents tells you a lot about person. In USA clearly you aren't from here are school yr is from September to June. we get 2 week break in December and 2 weeks inn March or April depends on Easter. No boxing day in USA.

Red flag! Look here under the shield!

That's just gone to crap...
Did you think 4 and 5 year old kids would be reading this...

Great story

Nice story, I liked the part where Britain had to stand up for itself. Thank you for writing.

F**k off you liberal parasite.

I like your story ideas, but the writing is very stilted and wooden. The characters need much more fleshing out, and your dialogue needs work.

For instance - Voldemorts proclamation 'Lucius you are the new minister' and its a fait accompli accepted by even Dumbledore?

needs a lot of work.

Great read well done