Please keep wrighting

Has this been abandoned

It's really really really good hope you continue it

I 3 it!

uhhhhhhhhhh vai ser muito foda
continua

So far it's a good story, but it feels like your overusing timebreaks and flashbacks. There were like 8 in this chapter alone. Al lot of them didn't really feel necessary since some of them were really short. Also why is some dialogue at the beginning bold or italicized, but the rest of is not. It seems really inconsistent and unnecessary. Another thing is that a lot of the events in this chapter could've been an entire chapter on their own. It seems like you're telling important things rather than showing them. For example, why not actually show Ragnok using surprise attacks as way for him to learn. So far, though, it's off to a good start. I hope these criticisms will help you with your story.

nice so far

don't leave me in suspense too long :-)

Wow, wow, wow just wow! I am speechless! Please keep going! This is unique
Justin :)