Imagine Aang is in the spirit world, and he's thinking: DID YOU PEOPLE NOT LEARN YOUR LESSON LAST TIME !?

This is a very interesting fanfic sequel to ATLA and TLOK. I don't really like TLOK that much, I do like how the story and world builds off of it. While I tilted my head how everything seemed to go back to the status quo of a war between nations and a missing Avatar, I liked how things were a little grey-ish and some elementals positions were almost flipped from ATLA (what with the majority of the focus being on the Fire Nation and the Water Tribes and Air Nomads almost seem antagonistic). Another thing I liked were the Energybenders and Energybending, i.e. how it focused generating light energy and the culture that grew from it reminding me of the Jedi Knights to a degree (what with the robes, temple in a metropolitan area, etc.).

The story is also well written. While I was confused by the beginning of each chapter (in that it was a little vague on whose POV was the focus) and am not a big fan of present-tense (grew up on past-tense), I still caught on with what was going on and appreciated some of the twists (like how Cathra was revealed to be the Fire Nation princess and Terumi being a bloodbender in their respective introductory chapters). While I do agree with Cuofeng that you should've jump straight into the narrative instead of author's notes, I still like it for what it is. The fights, on the other hand, do have a bit more than detail than I think should be allowed for 1st POV, but maybe that's just me.

I do some issues, mainly with the characters. Again, I liked the cultures and it is nice to see them blended into the mindset of every character. I also liked just how each character was introduced, how each one progresses, and how their backstories are integrated into the conflict they find themselves in.

That being said, I felt like the initial romance between Aelius and Cathra was a bit rushed since they had only known each other a few days before starting anything. It didn't help how soon afterwards Terumi was added in to make a love triangle and made to have Cathra act cold to Aelius as a result. Maybe I would have like it better as a teenager, but as an adult, I'm more biased to the idea that romance should be done a bit slow (or maybe it's because I was tired of teen romance from TLOK and I didn't want to see it here). Also, I wasn't too sure about Aelius' conflict of "not fitting in" quite right (maybe that's because I never noticed Aelius feeling out of his place in the Regia more than with Marcia). This is added onto Aelius' inability to control his power yet able to somehow build upon it (an archetype that does feel a bit archetypal in this case, but again, that could just be me).

Still, I do like this story. The characters are enjoyable, the mystery gives enough hints but leaves you wondering, and I am curious to see the progression of Avatar Aelius, aka the first Energybending Avatar, (c'mon, it was obvious since you stated he was in the same year Korra died) which has been an idea I'm trying to play around for my ATLA/TLOK sequel. I'm not sure if you'll still be working on this story anytime soon, but I hope everything goes well in the future.

Raika out.

Just have one question do you hate korra?

Please continue writing this

is it aang? xD

All right, I am back and no longer obsessing over bus routes! Not a whole lot happened in this chapter, you are setting up for things to come, so this is a short one. Still, good chapter. Good visuals.

Royal Guardians? The energybenders have royalty?

(levitating over water) Man, energybenders are way too overpowered. Still have faith that you are doing this for a reason though.

I take it that I am supposed to be confused as to why Aelius fainted.

TWO MILES DOWN?! That seems excessive.

Ok this is entirely a personal issue, but the greek inspired names are still bothering me. It is like running into a Sakura and Genji in Lord of the Rings' Gondor. Keep doing your thing and know that I am trying to get over my issues here,

Another nice "moving people through the world" chapter. The descriptions of the Energy headquarters at the end are very atmospheric. I am only wondering if you are maybe being overinfuenced by the ATLA "walking through the woods and preindustrial countryside" tradition which seems odd in... lets go back to your timeline and calculate...if the end of KORRA could be technologically considered a super-science analogue for 1920-1930, then your story is in around 2015-2025. Wow, I am obsessing over the lack of a bus far too much.

It seems a bit odd to me that you have Republic City in analogue year 20XX being a place where you can just walk out of the forest to it. Perhaps I am only speaking from my experience with cities that are surrounded by smaller towns that could be cities in their own right for as far as the eye can see.

These energy-benders are very flashy. I'd be interested in why you made these visual decisions.

Why are they still walking? Why not get a cab or a bus or one of the trolley lines if they are still in operation?

The intensity of the attraction between Cathra and Aelius seems a little rushed. It might feel more natural if you ease into it over a chapter. Then again this is just my opinion and other people could easily feel differently. That being said, I liked the kiss even though there is not very much emotional attachment to these characters yet. Clumsy romance is an easy sell to me.

Ok, now that we see the energybender headquarters (very cool) I would like to bring up something I have been wondering about. Why did you choose to have energybenders be such a recent development? The general impression I am getting is of an ancient jedi-like order which is at odds with the timeframe you have laid out. So far it seems you would have been more comfortable rewriting canon to fit in this new fifth element into the established history.

Oh, you dropped the introduction labeling of the narrator. In this case it is all right, it becomes clear pretty quickly who the narrator is.

Line 4 sentence 2 has "it's" instead of "its".

Aelius seems pretty callous about the potential for having done harm to the Water Tribe boy.

I am interested how a uniform energybender identity arose despite the seemingly have appeared randomly one generation ago. That seems mighty quick to build a culture and ethnic identity. I am looking forward to see if you elaborate more on that.

"...dent steel walls with a punch." those would have to be some awfully thin walls. Aelius, I think you are safe unless the water tribe has been handing out super-soldier serum.

"Ya" should be "Yeah", unless you want Aelius to have a germanic accent?

As a side note, how did you decide on the names Aelius and Cathra? Aelius sounds greek to me, and Cathra sounds odd somehow, I think since in the show no names used the "Th" sound which I believe is rather uncommon save for English and a few other languages. But of course everyone has the right to make up names for their fantasy story. I certainly do not have any room to talk.

The counting of steps to such an absurdly high number does a good job of reinforcing Aelius' robotic manner we have been seeing. He has an emotional disconnect from people around him and does not seem to give their internal thoughts much validity in a way that, at this very early stage, makes him seem like he might be on the highly functioning end of the autistic spectrum. That is a fascinating choice in a protagonist. I could also be reading far too much into a few throw away lines and descriptions! It has happened before.

On the note of walking, why isn't there a bus or some other car for them to ride in? The camp was expecting Aelius to leave so shouldn't there be some transportation? I suppose Cathra might be trying to fly under the radar, but it is not as if her absence will be overlooked.

"That water (stream) is freshwater" As opposed to all the saltwater streams? Sorry for joking like that. I think you are meaning to say that it is safe to drink so perhaps replace "freshwater" with "clean", "pure", or "springwater".

Aelius seem incredibly powerful, that is a challenge in making a main character relatable. But I am confidant in your abilities to handle that hurdle.

All right, this was a good chapter. It moved the plot along and has the two main characters thrust into a different setting to react too. My main idle question now is why you decided to introduce Energybenders into the Avatar setting. As of now we have only seen advantages (quite a few) they have and no disadvantages that plague them. I worry about this idea's interaction with the themes of balance, but then again we have not discovered the central conflict yet so I am certainly getting ahead of myself.

You also at one point alluded to energybenders manipulating electricity? I may have misunderstood but it was my impression that in the Avatar world electricity is an expression of the fire element.

I notice now that you give a character name at the top of each chapter. I apologize for missing that. I suppose that I did not realize that Aelius was a name and not a chapter title.

P1S2 is "portrays" the right word? Something feels off.

Another admission of bias, I am skeptical about main characters with odd distinctive eye colors so Aelius' silver eyes stood out to me. But then again Denaerys Targaryan worked so go right ahead.

Maybe there could be a section break or an extra sentence between falling asleep and being in the cafeteria line so it is clear that this is not another dream. Just a thought.

"Pile" got mistyped as "plié"

"grabbed (her) throat and slammed (her) head down on the table"...This is a very poorly run summer camp.

All right, this was an exciting chapter, we got insight into a new character, a little glimpse at the state of the world, and a fight! Also, I now realize that this is set at a literal Summer Camp for teenagers, where as I thought it referred to a more general informal living arrangement.

Well done.

Ah, first person present narrative. I have had...past experiences with first person fanfiction. That is to say I have developed a bit of a bias against it but I will try to not let that color my judgement of your plot here.

Is "booty shorts" supposed to be comical? Because in the context of the atmosphere your seem to have been setting it is amusingly jarring.

"I feel my attention slowly changing to the girl's body." This sentence seems off, perhaps replace "changing" with "shifting"?

The description of the summoned energy sphere is very good.

You keep on repeating " ancient part" and "modern part". What do you mean by that? Instinct? Habit? Prejudice? Something spiritual?

This fight/combat scene might come a little too early. We do not know who these people are or why they are having this...demonstration? We don't even know the gender of the narrator, let alone their age or any other detail. Without understanding, this the step-by-step narration is a little dry even with the competent imagery associated with it.

Yes, this fight lasts far too long and has far too much precise detail. However, when you get past it into that bit of world-building and character background I like what you are doing. I think you could shorten the whole fight down to two paragraphs at most and the full effect would still be there. You want to establish the narrator's power, and that can be done in a sentence or two. The rest is imagery and imagery is easy for a reader to drown in.

You also might want to consider giving the narrator a name? If only because I feel odd continuing to refer to them a "the narrator". I am assuming they are male because of the remark of their father bringing back an earthnation girl, but then again what do I know about the world you are creating?

Good imagery, and the talk at the end works well to set the stage.

My main take-away from this first chapter is that there is not enough content here. You should consider jumping into the narrative right away. But I am going to keep reading to see where you are going with this.

Scattered notes as I was reading:

If you want to have author's notes do not put them at the very beginning of your first chapter. Mentioning that this is your first story predisposes people to think less of your work. I would say just write and hope you trick people into thinking you have been doing this for ages!

In the introductory italicized section, you might want to make it clearer who the Fire Nation and the Earth Kingdom are planning to attack. I think it is the United Republic.

Your introduction of Energybending in the same section could do with a little more fanfare. "Began to glow and could shoot out light from their bodies" is very matter-of-fact. Also mention exactly what these lights do to indicate something other than sparkly disco powers. This will help explain why these seemingly random people are valued as mercenaries and tacticians.

This is the WRONG place for a time-line. As of now the reader has no investment in your story and descending into a dry list-format will turn people off. Weave the crucial details into narrative and hold off on others to bring up once they influence your story. This sort of time line is a very good and useful tool...FOR YOU, the author. For the reader, get directly into the story and give us a character to focus on. All these names and dates are confusing and meaningless at this point.

This is genius. I can see this actually being made into a show. You should totally send it to Nickelodeon.

This is such a good piece of work , and is so underrated too.
Amazing!
I know it has been almost 2 years , but I do hope you update soon. I really like your writing style and the whole plot you have going .

I love it it's amazing thank god somebody continued the cycle I tried but I failed.

Great job until know, I am expecting the next chap
Good luck