This is a great fic, thanks

Excellent lemon...but I have no idea what you were thinking when you decided the career options.
Are you sure you didn't mix up Harry and Ron?

The chuddley canons? Seriously?...Of all the teams you could possibly have picked it just had to be one of the weakest and Ron's favourite team.
Instead of Ron joining the team which would have made perfect sense...you just had to have Harry join it instead. Harry, the one who defeated the Dark Lord. Harry the one who got a record grade in DADA is not accepted while Ron is?
If anything Ron was worse than Harry at Hogwarts...and there is no way he would have passed potions with the required exam result needed for the aurors. (Not that Harry or Ron would have needed it since they got the free pass either way)

Seriously...this is not just bovine excrement but insulting too.

That said..other than the obvious...very well done.
As I said, the lemony part was very well done.
Thank you.

That was a smooth ending rhyme. It worked well.

cool 1 mate!

love it! great job!

Great start hope to see more soon.

The actual story was good but not the careers I mean how tf would harry fail getting into aurora corps but Ron not I mean harry was smarter and worked harder than Ron plus the Chudley cannons are the worst team so if anything he would play for the national team if he played quidditch instead of auror training and if he wasn't an auror it would be because he decided he didn't want to be an auror but other than that good story

No fucking way that Harry didn't qualify for the Aurors! And not a chance in hell that RONALD "THE IDIOT" WEASLEY qualified and Harry didn't! WTF dude!

And there is ABSOLUTELY NO MOTHERLOVING way that the Ministry wouldn't have accepted him! Besides! The Ministry automatically accepted anyone who fought against Voldemort to join the Aurors if they wanted too. Ron in canon went to work at his brother's joke shop for several years before joining the Ministry.

And Harry being a RESERVE SEEKER to the WORST TEAM IN THE WORLD!? Harry is the greatest Seeker in the WORLD!

And Susan was intelligent. She was ambitious and hardworking. She would never have just settled for mediocrity when her family were all so successful. Speaking of her family, what do u mean she doesn't know when her family died? All she would have to do is look it up in the Ministry records or check old Daily Prophet editions!

Did u even read the books? You have no concept or understanding of the Harry Potter universe. Yes I understand that is a "lemon story" but you could have at least used common sense.

Awesome one shot here!

Great story but the career is highly unrealistic. Harry is described as a phenomenal Seeker, add in his fame and the lowest team out there, the Cannons, would always start him. Also he was more intelligent and had a higher work ethic than Ron, if either would fail to get onto the Auror corps it would be Ron. Also Harry's fame alone would likely get him a shot for the Corps.

Hot, very hot, and quite plausible as they find each other and start helping each other. This is going to be a very powerful match and I daresay one that will disturb some.

that was good very good
Draco122

Nice

It's a nice story :) In my opinion you have talent as a writer of FF's. Maybe you could give this universe another oneshot, were you are showing the differences
It's mostly believable in it's innerlogic progression and in my opinion not to fast or to forward. The graphics are okay, but you should give out a warning of it's depth ;)

good stuff well done