I seriously am not one to flame, but this story is driving me up the fricken wall. I read the first few chapters, and was greatly dissapointed. But I decided to give it another shot. NOW I regret that decision.

Since when did Hogwarts have a Sadie Hawkins?

Since when did Hogwarts have LOCKERS, for Pete's sake?

Since when did Fred and George make bets with MUGGLE MONEY? I doubt they even would know what a buck is. They have GALLEONS, KNUTS, and SICKLES!

And if your mary sue is the twins' age, why is Oliver their age as well? He's TWO YEARS older than them!

If Oliver was a FIRST YEAR, why the hell was he quidditch captain?

And since when was he a seeker? He's ALWAYS been a keeper!

Harry was the FIRST first year on the quidditch team in a about century so why are they all first years and on the quidditch team? First years aren't even allowed their own brooms!

I'm not going to waste my time going into detail about how the timeline is messed up even more than I already mentioned.

And since when were their Princes and Princesses of Rivendell?

I didn't intend for this to be so harsh, so I'm really sorry. I recomend you reread all of the books in both of series, and then rewrite it if you are still hooked on your original ideas.

Sorry, forgot to leave my e-mail.
If you have any future Harry Potter canon questions please ask. Canon-rape is a serious crime.

I...I...Sweet Eru.
No. Words.
Personally, I think this story is really mind numbingly boring and that's not even mentioning the severe canon-rape of both Tolkien's world and the Potterverse.
Your character is not the Princess of Rivendell. There are no Princesses of Rivendell. There are no Princes, there are no Kings. There is Lord Elrond. I will give you credit for knowing about Arwen's brothers, but you might lose that credit for marrying one to the evil witch from Sleeping Beauty. And you lose even more credit for making your Sue's mother a witch who went to Hogwarts and was best friends with Snape. More credit gone for the severe Snape rape. And more credit gone for the constant journeying from Rivendell to Mirkwood. It's not a commonly taken journey.
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The most serious problem here is the timeline. Since Legolas is still a kid here, I'm assuming this takes place long before the War of the Ring. Early Third Age perhaps? That means that Oliver hasn't been born yet and won't be born for a couple centuries. When the War of the Ring ended, the Fourth Age began and the time of the Elves was over. The men took over and eventually (according to Tolkien) Middle Earth rearranged itself into our modern world. And since the Harry Potter books take place in the 1990s, your character would be a fully mature elf, not a child. Also, you say that your character is really a half-elf since her mother was a witch from our world. But if Darlene(nice not at all Elvish name btw) is over 10, as you say she is, that means her human mother would have died long ago, and that also means that her mother could not possibly have gone to school with Snape. You really need to fix the timeline in this story because it's just so very confusing.
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There was no Sadie Hawkins dance at Hogwarts. There was the Yule Ball, but Oliver wasn't there for that, was he? Deal. You don't get to make up random opportunities to pair people up. You get what's in the books to work with and what you can assume. No extra events. Again, deal.
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I'm just skipping through random chapters, and...still, no words. I don't want to be mean, but you've read the LOTR books right? All of them? Because what possessed you to write this? Your Sue cannot have a dragon. Dragons are not nice and they are not pets. In Middle Earth I believe dragons are allied with Morgoth and Morgoth is not your friend. Also, your Sue does not and cannot have the Witch King's horse. No.
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I'm very sorry, and I want to give you concrit, but honestly, your story just makes me want to cry. HP/LOTR crossovers are better when they're not done. Because the worlds don't mix at all and I have yet to see a good one. I understand if this is your first fanfic, and I realize that you are probably a preteen (probably 13-15, if that). But please reread both the Harry Potter series and reread the LOTR trilogy and then do some more Middle Earth research to capture the feel of the books and then read back over your fanfic and try to realize how much needs to be changed. I really didn't mean this to be a flame, but I guess it is. Sorry.

Well, Maxie, think about it, you don't have a life as much as we (excuse the blatant term) do-you're defending a fan*fiction* writer. I don't care if you indeed know her (I can only assume,) but you know, it's one thing to flame, it's another to return the flame. (I should know, shouldn't I?)
But a Mary Sue is a huge problem. You can say all you want that "don't read it if you don't want to." But I'm sorry to inform you (or anyone else with the same conception): it's not about "bitching." (Whatever that might mean.) it's about defending all that is right in a fandom and stopping all things that people do that's defiling, degrading, and strait out disgraceful.
It's about protecting the sanity of the wise, of the truth.
But notes to the author: I'm not trying to be personal, I'm trying to point out that the story is outrageous. If you're not writing stories to improve on your writings skill, then fine, look away, but if you are, you need to learn that a character needs to be believable in order for people to like it. Superficial/artificial coercions imposed upon the surroundings would not flow, would not *work*. It is neither natural nor realistic. Indeed, if you don't plan to advance, then by all means, please, continue this while we laugh to our merry ends.
And please, define the term "life." Does writing mindless stories that will never be published count too? Or are we just a bunch of charlatans here? Oh yes, on the homo sapiens part, just believe that we're aliens. Fear us. We prosecute Mary Sues and we are prosecuted for that. I *love* the irony!
Oh, and *please*, I'm begging you to laugh at my cowardice in my anonymity. :)
- Your amused (no, insane!) Anonymous.

Hey :) Wow, i loved this fic, lol. I thought it was great! And you managed to get Oliver and Legolas in it, hehe, two of my favourite guys. I think you are a totally talented writer, and im hoping there will be a sequel, lmao :)

I'm sorry but I would have to agree with Suppi Cat's review. Darlene is such a mary-jane! I mean, she is always so perfect. I mean, come on! No one can be that perfect!The whole everyone loves her, related to all the LOTR people, and having Oliver Wood fall in love with her and all happiness! Also, I think HP fan fics should be by themselves and LOTR fan fics should be by themselves. They shouldn't be mixed because then it just gets too confusing. It destroys the whole Harry Potter idea (where there's magic, muggles, etc.)So,what I would advise for future fan fics is 1) Dont make mary-janes! 2) Dont mix HP and LOTR. Like I said at the beginning, I'm sorry this review is a negative one.

omgoodness, this is so cute! i love it, but actually, you hafta clear sum things up. i know this is ure fanfic and so u can do watever u want w/ it but i'll just be pointing some things out to you.

1)first years are not allowed to be part of the Quidditch team. somewhere near the beginning, you mentioned that Oliver, Fred and George were on the quidditch team and also that they were all in first year. I'm sory, just clearing that up w/ you.

anyways, keep writing, i was just repaying the favour of reviewing your stories after you reviewed mine. if you want, read the rest of my stories, i'd be really thankful. all the best,

eugiebear

awwwwwww! sweet and sappy, i love it. great mix of 2 great stories. good job

angie

I know I'm only at this chapter but I need sleep (even though I have Insomnia) and so far it's great lovin' it and I've finally updated hehehehe

~LadyLaura020~

Ok, this fic has a cool plotline. Potion thing is a bit unrealistic, but it's a cute idea. )

It needs to be edited a bit and has some minor mistakes, but I'm sure after you fix that it will be even better.

And people? If you don't like stories with Orginal Characters (or as you so obnoxiously call them "Mary Sues") ' . 't bitch about the character. NOBODY is forcing you to read it. YOU brought it on yourself you know (this goes out to Guessgirl, Sarah Weaver, and Suppi Cat. Stop bitching.)

It just goes to show you that the two most common things in this universe is stupidity and hydrogen.

Isn't it sad the common sense isn't?

Oh, and an Anti Mary Sue organization is REAL mature. Grow up, get off your high horse, stop bitching and get a life.

People like that are pathetic excuses of homo sapiens.

A poition. How convenient. But you did make up an explanation, which makes it better. Good Job. Don't take it personally if you don't like my reveiws; I'm just making suggestions and you really do have a pretty good story going. Keep writing it! And for crying out loud, don't go and ruin it with trash.

AW! Now, this would be a great story if you edited a bit. #1, forget the elf thing or at least make it more realistic. Exellent use of lingo, though. That always adds interest to the story.

AW! Now, this would be a great story if you edited a bit. #1, forget the elf thing or at least make it more realistic. Exellent use of lingo, though. That always adds interest to the story.

More Purple. Hmm.

Come on. Your style of writing is wonderful, and you really have a talent for conversations and stuff. The base of this plot is'nt believable, so the whole stoy is shaky. The WAY you write is awesome, but let's work on the plot! You have serious potential - stop wasting it on this crap when you can write so much better.

Purple again? How surprising!