oh this was absolutely perfect... so sweet and romantic... oh the feels in this one... very well done...

Kudos! I like your version of Lieutenant Duckling very much. I especially loved stargazing bits. Thank you for writing this!

Such a wonderful AU. Loved it!

Thus was sweet. I liked how Killian was still angry about Neverland, of course he wouldn't just let it go, it made him into a pirate after all On the show. The star gazing was so sweet and I really liked his anxiety over Liam liking Emma. Lieutenant Ducklings are my favorite and especially the ones with Liam. Thanks so much for writing, cheers!

To tell you the truth...I actually didn't enjoy this very much. :/ It's a good start - definitely keep writing, I can tell you have a good eye for character development, but I can also tell it needs some work. There were some pretty serious inconsistencies that kept this story from being all it could have been, so I'm hoping this will be at least a bit helpful.

For one thing, even in AU stories, it's so so so important to pay careful attention to characterization. Both Emma and Killian are very out of character, especially Emma, and that was a big stumbling block. What gave it away, most of all, was her speech. For instance, Snow and David essentially talk like their normal selves, but Emma's dialogue is more Elizabeth Bennett than Emma Swan - too formal, I mean, even though you do bring some of the edge to her personality in at the beginning. Toward the end, though, she almost becomes someone else. "Period dialogue" aside, Emma is so guarded about her feelings, and where is Killian's snappy flirtatiousness...? The dynamic that makes Emma and Killian so great is made secondary to the story itself, and that takes away greatly from its potential. But, all of that can be remedied.

Secondly, as a matter of personal opinion more than flow, the early segments of the Neverland scene and the Charming castle scene could have been constructed better. I didn't fully grasp the necessity of Gibbs' death, aside from having someone other than Liam die by Dreamshade. I think you can think a lot bigger than that and still have the story work. What if, for example, they'd brought the Dreamshade back and the king had died from it, or perhaps used it to start a war? If you were to keep the same construct you have (Gibbs dying and them going to the Charmings), I would advise revision of the whole castle scene. It's not politically or militarily convincing (especially seeing as how a couple of high-ranking officers stole a vessel, crew, and royal property when they sought asylum), and it bothered me a bit that nothing ever came of it as far as their former king going after them for desertion. But, again, that's very fixable!

In sum, I would say to work on characterization and plot development. Your character development is pretty good, and it will become even better over time. I think you could benefit greatly from a beta reader, and if you were to search one out, I would say to look for one that will advise you on the plot as well as grammar.

Again, hope this has been at least a bit helpful! Best of luck xx

Beautiful Lieutenant Duckling. Wonderful one shot!

That was cute I really enjoyed it :)

This was so damn beautiful and it just gave me so many feels !

Lovely story hope there will be moré in the future.

I love love love it!

oh that was adorable!

It was very lovely !

Love love love this story! Truly beautiful!