Ahh Irene, I love her so much. I'm happy to be reading this!

This is absolutely perfect. Honestly, how are you THIS perfect at writing?

I haven't read an Irene fic before, so I was so happy to see it wasn't just about Sherlock and Irene's "relationship", but about Irene and how she became the woman she is today.

This was really well written, and I liked the transgression of Irene being a young, naïve woman, into the strong willed, smart dominatrix we know and love.

Enjoyed this thoroughly!

Hey hey, Georgy. You're probably tired of hearing from me, sorry, but you were getting pimped today so I couldn't resist helping you get graduated. Here you go, darling!

Holy crap, way to start this off with power. I love the imagery you use in this segment, describing her as living ice, describing her as stopping the world. The idea of the world stopping typically comes off as a cliché phrase, but not here. Here it's more like the world is stopping because she demands the attention the world normally gets, and it just paints this seductive, powerful image of this woman, and wow, does it work. The way you describe her as how she IS power, how she IS strength just blows me away with the atmosphere of exactly what this woman is about, and wow does it pull me in.

The way that Irene follows this woman sneakily, drawn in by her allure is just amazing as well. It speaks volumes of her intrigue, and the way that this woman acts just puts me again and again in the same position as Irene - curious and wanting to know more about just who this chick is and what she does and how she ever made herself into this almost ethereal being of grace and power. WOW.

This image of Irene's baby steps towards getting brave enough to talk to the Woman is also really strong. I love the way that it is just so simply worded, yet still keeps the reader engaged. Also like the fact that you describe the woman as not quite as imposing as before, yet still alluring. It makes me think of a siren, almost, the ones who lured sailors to their deaths with beauty. That association just makes the image stronger.

Woot, now she's up to the door! I love how she's still just a little bit too afraid to knock, a little worried as to what might happen if she opens this door and where things might be going. It's ridiculously intriguing and wow does it work. This tinge of fear keeps the Woman mystical, and it makes this next scene all the stronger, when Irene really does open the door.

Speaking of, I love the little detail you had in here with that door in the fact that the Woman didn't lure Irene there this time - her curiosity did. It just paints the Woman again and again as this powerful, almost chessmaster-like figure. She is strong. She manipulates her pieces until they come to her, regardless of if they realize it or not. She is power and she is intense and she is mind-blowingly in-charge, and that feeling produces a mix of terror and intrigue that keeps me reading, again and again. This just is pushed further along when she opens that door - she knows Irene's there, and she's waiting, and when she knows she has to, she just gives that final push of manipulation to get Irene inside. PERFECTION.

Whoa, and again. I love this moment, where the Woman is just circling Irene. She knows how to do this, she knows she has her, but she just keeps seducing her. She never breaks character or loses her cool. She wants this girl to come into her kingdom and to see what she means. And this moment where she acknowledges that Irene "isn't afraid" and tells her she has power actually added a somewhat surprising bit of depth to her character for me - she knows this mousy, scared looking girl has the guts and the power to do anything, and the fact that she shows exactly what she means helps to make her seem warmer while keeping her icy at the same time, which is just this amazing contradiction and DAMN I love this.

This moment after with Irene in her bedroom just keeps it going. It tastes almost like poison to me, poisoned wine. Seductively sweet and yet so bad, and Irene knows it's poison but just wants more. This feeling of addiction and intrigue just blows me away. This is astounding - it's contradiction and greed and necessity and addiction all rolled into this mess of emotional ice and I am just stunned. How the crud do you do this?!

This scene is astounding. Irene throws away her uncertain plans for the future and just says 'No.' That decision, arbitrary and yet not is strong on its own, and then you pair it with this next bit where she's not just asking the woman, she's demanding it. She's stubborn now, commanding almost. Already, she's breaking out. Already, she's stronger, more in control, more knowledgable about who she is and what she wants. Right away, she is already turning into this more stable, infinitely more powerful woman, exactly like her predecessor. I am amazed at the imagery here.

This final farewell between the Woman and Irene, after Irene has now become the Woman herself just keeps up that same feel. They are both strong now. They are seductive, they are power, they are ice and they do not break for anyone. They do not bow, and they both know it. Yet still, there is this warmth underneath the ice, this sort of pride from mentor to student. Absolutely amazing that you work this in there. I am beyond impressed at this, wow.

And this just does it again in the conclusion. It both unifies her and seperates her from her predecessor as she acknowledges that she has earned Sherlock's respect, that she has truly become someone else. Like the Woman before her, she is still power. She is still strength and beauty and ice, but yet she remains different in this absolutely obvious, yet somehow subtle and implaceable way. I can't even describe how awed I am.

All in all, this piece is amazing. The emotions, the feel, the atmosphere are all amazing. This is just a brilliant piece of backstory to Irene Adler that makes her so much more tangible to me, and it just sucks me in and does not let me go, beginning to end. Absolutely ASTOUNDING job, Georgy! Bravo! Thanks so much for posting!

Story

I think that starting with a simple, attention-grabbing piece of dialogue worked as a very effective opening for this piece. With / "Here she comes!" /, I immediately wanted to find out who “she” is. Your following description of the woman worked well to create and air of mystery around her, and show Irene’s interest.

/ quickly nodding politely as The Woman's eyes suddenly pierced them with an intense gaze that took Irene's very breath away. / This is an instance where you characterize the woman while showing Irene’s reaction to her, which works really well.

I also liked that you had Irene slowly work up to knocking on the woman’s door. It’s not easy to just knock on someone’s door if she didn’t even know her name, and I think it shows Irene’s growing determination and also builds up a sense of suspense as to what she’ll find out. (The story wouldn’t have been nearly as interesting if Irene had just walked up and knocked on the door the first day she saw the woman. ;) )

/"There's no need to be afraid of yourself…what you're feeling right now…" Her heavy whisper made the room suddenly compress. / This line shows that there’s more complexity to your story than Irene meeting a mysterious woman. It’s also a story about Irene’s transformation. About her facing what she could be, and figuring out what she wants, and fearing and not understanding the power she could have.

/Irene waited with baited breath / Minor homophone error. (Should be bated)

You have an excellent ending line as well. / She had done it. She wasn't just Irene Adler anymore...she was The Woman. / It reinforces the fact that this is a story about Irene’s transformation, and it works as a nice parallel to the beginning of the story with the mysterious woman. Excellent job.

Hi there m’dear! I have been meaning to read this story for ages and finally took the time today to do so! I am SOOO glad that I did! I really love the way that you illustrate sex, power and womanhood in this piece. For me, as someone who is a firm believer that my body is my a temple and that who I allow to worship at it is my choice and right, this rang big time bells for me. This is definitely a story about empowerment (both in terms of feminine empowerment and sexual empowerment as well).

This here: ((With her chin jutted high, her chest tall and proud, she walked with a fluid grace that seemed on the surface to defy all sense of gravity and rational thought.)) rocks for me as a line because while the imagery is very ambiguous, the confidence screaming in the line just oozes why people stop and pay attention to The Woman. She’s confident and cool, regal in the knowledge of who she is. She’s sexy because of how she acts, not just because she looks like a Grecian Goddess.

This: ((She was like a living ice sculpture, chiseled to absolute perfection by a master artist.)) works to illustrate my earlier point of being like a Grecian statue. She has the looks to go with the confidence and oozes sophistication and class and intrigue, all things that are incredibly sexy and will instantly make someone with only passing looks become the focus of a room.

For me, this section here: ((The Woman…she didn't just carry power; she was power, the living definition of raw strength and authority.)) just reaffirms the points that Maya Angelou makes in my favorite poem ‘Phenomenal Woman’. This Woman is a force to be reckoned with because she knows she’s a woman and doesn’t see herself as being less than some man because of her gender. No, this woman knows she commands legions, that she attracts crowds and can bend men and women to her will.

((Not now, not when she was this taken in, as Odysseus and his men were with the sirens' call.))—I love the comparison to Irene’s journey being like that of Odysseus and how she compares The Woman to the sirens. It’s a very powerful statement and shows how Irene’s progression from prodigy to Mistress evolves. It also shows her connection with The Woman. The Woman is a temptation that you can’t avoid, that you can’t deny, and who can destroy you if you let her.

(("You know, as a woman, you hold a lot of power..."))—Damn right! We are women, hear US roar!

For me, this here: (("You've learned what you need to know; it's time you leave the nest." She felt betrayed at the cold tone of dismissal. "I'm doing this for your own good, you know. You'll never really step into your role as a dominatrix until you've acted on your own.")) is the passing of the torch (or the whip so to speak). The Woman has recognized that Irene is her own Woman now and is telling her to go out into the world and refine her gift and build her own legacy. I also love that when Irene asks her what is going to happen with her that she basically tells her that her time has passed and that it is time for the younger generations to rise up and take over. It’s another empowering statement that says that once a woman has the tools, the sky is the limit for her.

((She had done it. She wasn't just Irene Adler anymore...she was The Woman.))—fabulous closing line here. It shows how the journey has come to a close. Irene has stepped up, she’s become the Dominatrix, the power and the force to be reckoned with. She’s The Woman.

Absolutely fantastic job my lovely! Loved it! Absolutely loved it!

Ohai Georgy! Loved it! I always love a good backstory for a fun character, like Irene, and this was most definitely a good backstory!

I loved the way you described The Woman: tall, beautiful, but like an ice sculpture, cold and distant. It really seems like she'd be the type of woman that Irene would love to be, and I loved that she was so nervous, because it seems so out of place with the Irene that we see in the show.

Was Irene kicked out of the house, or did she just leave and not go back? I think that it'd be better if that was explained a little bit more.

I don't see any real errors in here, so great job! Again, loved it, so... uh... yeah.

Another fascinating concept, and one that certainly made me immediately click on the link! Who doesn't want to know more about Irene Adler?

This is a really small thing, but I would specify that Irene is leaning on the OUTSIDE wall of the butcher shop. Perhaps it's just me being dense, but I spent a lot of time wondering why the Woman was going to the butcher shop herself and what did she buy and didn't the shop owner wonder why Irene was standing there all the time and not ordering anything? Once I realized she was outside, and the Woman was walking by, it all made sense. Again, this might be just me. :)

Your description of the Woman passing by left me dying to know more! Was she wearing fishnet stockings? What color was her coat? And on and on. At first I was going to ask you to describe her in more detail, but now it seems to me like an excellent decision on your part-of course I want to know more about her, so does everyone else on the street! Who has time to remember the color of her coat when her sheer presence is powerful enough to make everyone stop? I certainly wouldn't complain if the color of her lipstick was described, but as the paragraph stands, it has me on a hook just like all the characters who watch her go by.

"...her gaze...before Irene could think about it, she was gone..." for this line, I would specify that it is The Woman who turns the corner, and not Irene. "...and the world started to move again." is a great descriptive line.
"The door knocker looked different up close". I love this line. It's such a simple observation, but also foreshadows into the future...so many things will look different to Irene once she gets up close!

"...against a burning halo of dark red hair..." lovely.

I love that you only hint at what transpires between Irene and the Woman on her first visit. Mystery is always sexy, I think, and it adds to Irene's state of confusion and attraction.

"...asked the Woman if there was a name for what she did...called herself a dominatrix." This is a great line. There's such innocence and desire in Irene asking for the name, not of the Woman herself, but what she does. However, I would either break it up into two sentences, or specify that it is the Woman calling herself a dominatrix. This is the point where Irene first realizes that she wants to do what the Woman does, not just look like her. I would set it like this: "...asked the Woman if there was a name for what she did, and she called herself a Dominatrix..." or "...name for what she did. The Woman called herself a Dominatrix." I would also capitalize Dominatrix here, because even though it technically isn't a proper noun, it's the first time (I assume) Irene has ever heard this word, and it does become an official title in her mind.

With the two main characters both being women, and because The Woman is such a mystery, there are a few times where the pronoun "she" has to be used in succession, which makes it a bit difficult to automatically character is speaking, or moving. It's small stuff, though, and again, it might just be me.

"Like a reel of a movie spinning out of control" Fantastic imagery!

"It would take years of practice...Irene slowly found her confidence..." tense disagreement here.

Really nice touch with the Woman using Irene's name as she tells her to leave.

Great story. Looking forward to the next one! :) You're a lovely writer.

I'm surprised this one hasn't graduated yet! Here's hoping it will soon, as it totally deserves it.

Here are a few, relatively minor, things that I noticed:
"just her mere presence" seems a bit redundant..."her mere presence" might be better.
"their silence more of a revere than blind adoration"-"revere" actually is not a noun, just a verb, so it might be better to say "their silence more reverence than blind adoration"
"strolling with blinding confidence"-not so sure about this one, but I think you mean "blind confidence", since "blinding" would imply someone was watching her, when it seems like there isn't. I could be wrong, though.
"flip flop of her stomach" seems a bit like a cliche, but then again it's hard to think of an alternative that isn't also cliche.
"You don't know her, she's a complete stranger." Comma splice here.
I think I mentioned this before, but sometimes your action tags can be a bit confusing...putting one character's action at the end of another character's speech. In this case, since it's a one-on-one confrontation, I can pretty easily tell who's speaking, though.
"You've learned what you need to know, it's time you leave the nest." Another comma splice.
Overall, a bit more setting description would be nice...a bit about the weather, the buildings along the street, stuff like that. Just a few extra details here and there to give the place more life.

And HERE...is what I LOVED about this story!
"the curves of her jaw and cheekbones against the burning halo of her dark red hair"...gives me goosebumps just thinking about it! Very evocative, that.
I really like how, in the scenes when Irene and The Woman are in the room alone together, your careful use of the adjectives and verbs around each use of the word "she" always lets us know exactly which "she" you are referring to.
"Her heavy whisper made the room suddenly compress." Wow, I really felt this one. Excellent use of a word, as my favorite professor would say.
I really love Irene's thoughts after her meeting with The Woman. So creepy. It might be interesting to have Irene savor the word "dominatrix" a bit more. It's a pretty cool word, but I'm a word geek, so probably not everyone thinks like I do. :)
I like the tender way in which The Woman bids Irene good-bye...a very nice touch. You create sympathy for these questionable characters very easily, and it's exhilarating to see it happen.
Love that ending. I would have thought Irene would be upset after the events of "Belgravia," but here, I can see, after all that happened...she truly got what she wanted after all.

Overall, very well done. This was a very interesting take on Irene's life, "before Sherlock," shall we say. The dark tone gave me chills as I read it. Very, very good.

Hiiii XD The summary of this one made me curious, which is why it was my choice from the archives. (Still fandom-blind so I don't know who Irene is or how she factors into canon.)

The opening is great—the cry of "here she comes!" automatically is an attention-grabber and made me want to know who "she" was and how everyone would react to her. I like how you have Irene notice everyone else's reactions instead of just having the narrative tell us. Also, I find the reactions intriguing—the men seeming to respect(?) her, the women fearful/anxious. A bit surprised that there is no disdain or disgust—but that could tie in with the fear that forces them to give her silent respect. And to make it even more intriguing, she has no name: she is just "The Woman". (But of course, she is more than that, or she wouldn't have everyone else jumping to her tune and figuratively cowering under her stare. :D)

Gutsy of Irene to impulsively follow her, though I wonder if The Woman knew she was being followed or if she was just being wary by keeping an eye behind her from time to time. I also really like the whole idea of how the mystery ends and the world returns to normal/boring after she closes her front door. I also like how it takes days for Irene to actually get the courage to knock on The Woman's door, and it's very realistic that you have her do it in stages: approach the gate, open the gate, stand at the door but be afraid to knock—and then finally doing it and coming face to face with The Woman in person.

Also gutsy of Irene to go inside and then allow The Woman to, as far as I understand, seduce her. (I think I would have run! lol) the impulsiveness of Irene to forgo university and want to follow in The Woman's footsteps is a bit surprising, but realistic in a way. Teenagers don't always think things through and you show that here. But she is determined and it is good that The Woman can see that, even though she rightfully challenges Irene as an adult would [you're young/need to explore your options].

And it seems The Woman had a bit of affection for Irene after all; perhaps some sixth sense told her that Irene would be the one to follow in her footsteps. The ending scene with Sherlock is a nice touch in that he rescues her but seems to know who (and what?) she is, and how she revels in the fact that she is now The Woman.

Great work, dear :)

This was a remarkable story! I'd never given much thought to what would have made Irene "The Woman" but this story ties into it very well.

I like that you made it clear early on that Irene was younger in this story, for if you hadn't cleared that up then most readers would be lost, thinking Irene was already The Woman.

The concept of someone else being The Woman before Irene was an interesting take. Throughout the story I could really only imagine the first Woman being Kate, just because the way you described her had similarities, but that's my own imagination talking.

The story was well paced and I don't believe I found too many, if any, SpaG errors. It's clear to see that you take the time to review your story before posting, or you have someone else that edits for you. Though there was this: "Her conscious was right" I think you mean her 'conscience' was right? Conscience is the little voice in your head, and conscious is when you're awake.

One of my favorite things about this story is that you tell it in pieces. You take the different days that Irene slowly worked up to The Woman's door. You skipped ahead eight whole years yet with just a few sentences of summary it didn't feel too spaced. It still flowed. And the way you ended it with the brief events of what happened after Sherlock rescued her tied the story up and gave the readers a satisfying ending to the whole reason this story was written: Irene wanted to BE The Woman, and finally she had.

Great story and I look forward to reading more of your works!

There were some minor errors ("glued onto," "a revere," "to people watch," "just as beautiful up close than from," "every breathe that she took," etc.), and your phrasing in places was a bit odd ("jutted high," "just her mere presence, "unsure of if," etc.), but I loved your use of zeugma in the first paragraph ("defying all sense of gravity and rational thought"). The consistent capitalization of not only "Woman," but "The," made her status as "the living definition of raw strength and authority" clear.
The idea that the woman's very remoteness and arrogance humanizes her reminded me of the quandary faced by the creators of villains: how to make them remote, yet detestable. (Not that there's anything detestable about *this* woman.) The image of the ember flaring into a fire of curiosity was heightened and made original by the mention of the gradual stimulus ("each step that she took away from the house").
You used the traditional story of the strange old master and the half-nervous, half-intrigued young pupil well, changing it to suit both your characters and the ancient art being taught. It was a clever spin on an old tale, and it fit neatly into continuity.

I’m sorry this took such a ridiculously long time! The good news is that I now have a computer again and am christening it with your lovely work x
I don’t care if most of the fandom hate her; I absolutely adore Irene, though I’ve never tackled her in a fic before.
The opening image of her being in somewhere as mundane as a butcher’s shop is really striking. As Sherlock Holmes would probably say: look at Irene’s in-show fingernails! I’m surprised she manages to take herself to the bathroom ;)
[18 years] Generally speaking in fiction you’d write the whole word out: eighteen years. Although I don’t think that’s the case for long and complicated numbers like 28979487 ;)
Anyway, I think the idea that Irene knew of another “Woman” and modelled herself on her is absolutely fantastic. Again, this sounds like a concept straight out of canon (and the Princess Bride)! : The legend is the thing, and if Irene took up a legacy another woman created, it makes perfect sense.
I like the fact that, as what happened with Irene herself, people knew they were supposed to be disgusted by how shameful she was, but instead, she drew people in.
I have to admit that I was hungry for more details on Irene: her family, her home life, even what she looks like under all that makeup and coiffed hair, and whether she was much different at eighteen.
Oh, that “braver idiot than the day before” is possibly the most magnificent line you’ve ever written, my dear one
That all said, I will admit that I found the “lamb to the slaughter” part a little heavy-handed (no pun intended). The line of dialogue is so evocative, I’d definitely be tempted to leave the scene (and the suggested implications) there.
Oh, connecting it to the Karachi incident? Brilliant. And a strong, effective last line, too. I think this might be my favourite of yours so far! Well done x

I really enjoyed this fic (and not being canon blind for once). Most portray Irene Adler as the strong, cunning dominatrix she was in the series, but few ever say anything about what her past was like.

It's an interesting twist, that the original Woman wasn't Irene, and she did all she could to emulate this person. I like how she was rather innocent at first, but she was still recognizable as the headstrong, stubborn person we know and love. The background information of her was also a nice addition; she could have made other choices, she wasn't a victim of circumstance like most characters are often portrayed as (or like Sherlock, who was born with his burden). Her experiences and feelings could have been fleshed out more; after all, she was a decent person, she likely cared for her parents- -was a simple craving for power all that it took to throw everything away?

The last scene was the best, imo. Things have come in a full circle, and Irene has now earned the title of The Woman from one of the most challenging men in the world (and his subsequent respect)

Great story!

Awesome story you have here! I was immediately intrigued by the title and, being a Sherlock fan, I was drawn to this story in a flash. Eheh Irene centric/origin stories are always interesting to read, especially if they’re well managed. Irene Adler’s in Sherlock’s BBC series is a very elegant, cunning and intelligent woman, so trying to figure out a possible background for her can be a difficult job. I commend your good sense for not trying to assume too much (there are always some things that should be left a mystery). I think that the plot you conceived works just fine within this fandom: it’s believable, the dialogue can be witty and the descriptions are very vivid.

“The Woman” is a very strong title. While I’m intrigued, I couldn’t help but to recall the movie Malèna with Monica Belluci, since The Woman is obviously an object of desire for the male persuasion and it’s only to be expected that women would mostly be jealous or wanting to be like this exceptionally elegant lady. I can see why Irene would like to follow her as a role model, especially during that age where she’s discovering her own sexuality.

While I’m not surprised that Irene treaded the path of a new type of education, I’m actually wondering why The Woman would agree on helping her at all. I guess we all have our hidden reasons. In a way, yes, she saved Irene from a boring life.

Nitpicks:
-I think you have (arguably) a run-in sentence. It’s the very first in the second paragraph. Maybe it’s just me, but maybe wording it in another way could prove beneficial as it feels a little awkward. Other than that, I didn’t find any major flaws and those might be more of a personal preference than anything else. :3 You have a talent for description, my dear!

Wow...this was really a cool story. I really love that you wrote something on Irene Adler. It's always awesome when someone takes one of those minor characters and writes a bit of history on him/her. So I really love how you've given her a backstory as to how she came upon the world of dominatrices. I also love how when we first see The Woman, along with Irene, no one can really take her eyes off her and everyone is enamored by her, including Irene herself.

I also love that she couldn't seem to get her mind off The Woman, so much so that she ended up going back to the butcher shop days later. Ah, but she chickened out and ran away. I thought that was cute.

But she finally mustered up the courage to go and speak to her...finally, telling herself that today was the day. I loved her conversation with The Woman and how she was invited inside and was given a demonstration. I would think that might be how all dominatrices start...or a great number, at least. You have to learn from someone, right? So kudos for bringing logic into the picture there! I also love that it would take practice and trial and error, but she was determined to become just like The Woman...or in this case, The Woman herself.

Really loved the ending...how, indeed, Irene was The Woman that Sherlock had rescued and the one who everyone was enamored with. Really loved this story. A well-deserved favorite! Well done! :)

Just a few things:

"That's HER."-This really isn't incorrect, but if this were mine, I'd italicize her rather than using all caps. Just a personal preference on that one.

she WAS power-And this is the same thing as above. I think you could get the same idea across using italics.

What WAS she doing there,-And again.

Although I am a big Sherlock fan, I have never read an Irene Adler origin story, so I am interested to see how fans interpret her past.

I really like your take on how Irene becomes “The Woman”. The fact that she came into the name as an apprentice, and then a successor, to the first Woman reminds me of the Dread Pirate Roberts from 'The Princess Bride': the moniker is more than just a name, its an entity that continues to expand it's influence with each successive generation. It makes me think that The Woman is a sort of entity who will always continue to bring England to her knees.

The characterization of the first The Woman is also interesting and harkens back to the entity presence that I previously mentioned. While I usually like a character with strengths and weaknesses, here I don't think it would have worked for her. You present her as more of the mentor that Irene aspires to be. She is a beautiful, almost unearthly, woman who makes the men want her and the women want to be her. And what better way to make her an idol in the young woman's eyes than to make her an entity of pure perfection? There is nothing I would do to change her, as she serves her role very well as the catalyst for Irene's rise to infamy,

Irene's pre-Woman back story is also refreshing. I HATE it when authors go for the dark and troubled past, and I'm glad that you avoided it. Her interactions with her parents are a breath of fresh air, especially when you write: “Of course, Irene's parents didn't receive the news about her decision to forgo university well, but that was to be expected. After all, she was the only child and her parents had extremely high, almost unrealistic expectations of her.” This feels like what real-life parents do when their children stray from their original plans for them. If I could change anything, I would delve more into her relationship with her parents and see how she doesn't feel cut out for the life her family wants her to have in order to make her decision to become The Woman's apprentice more powerful. But this works as well as her decision to not go to university shows Irene's willfulness and a need to be in control of her own future instead of having it decided for her.

Overall, this is a really well-written story that doesn't need to go on forever about Irene's transition to The Woman. In just a few paragraphs, you hauntingly convey how she changes from that “thin, pale teenager” (which I always felt invoked the image of Irene as being a gawky, plain girl who wants to be like her mentor) to the bombshell who will one-up Holmes.

Things I noticed:
-”furrowed in confusion 'The Woman,' he clarified”- you need a period between 'confusion' and 'The' as his statement marks the start of a new sentence.
-“The Woman's eyes sudden pierced them...”- if you change 'sudden' to 'suddenly,' it will make the sentence flow better.
-“... as she crossed her arms. “you're young and you need...” - You're needs to be capitalized.