Aww very cute and adorable raph finding the only surviving kitten to bring to mikey even after it scratched the hell out of his hands would of been funny if they had left the guard by the hullications flowers can u imagine what he would of seen and babbled about seeing

ya quiero saver que va a pasar :

Omg I loved this! Great job!

Why the fuck do I find this funny? I am pretty sure it shouldn't be funny and I think I need a therapist. Does anone know some good ones?

Funny as shell, so to speak. I loved it

I waited till the end of the chapter specifically to write this, and i wanted to put this in a context to offer some constructive criticism for this fiction as an experienced Writer and life-long TMNT Fan as well as a regular watcher of the new series.

firstly as a story, well done! marvelously written, very emotional, you expressed everyone's reactions very well and kept the story tied together splendidly.

-

as for everything else, i have to say, i didn't feel like the turtles were completely in character. it felt like you were writing this story based on their introductive personalities from the very first two episodes before their characters were developed in later episodes.

**

Raphael:

You Paint Raphael as an unfeeling angry and psychotic turtle when this is not true.

the turtles look at him as angry all the time simply because he has a short temper. what he truly is, is a very impassioned turtle, he reacts to everything with the peak of their emotional content and makes it a habit of taking the worlds' burdens on his shoulders because he wants to make everything safe for his brothers. hence why he always wants to fight the bad guys, it's not because he's Psychotic.

if he were Psychotic he wouldn't be feeling any emotion at all, he'd be insisting that all the bad guys they face from petty thugs to super villains like shredder; he'd be insisting all the time that they should be killed because they don't deserve another moment of life for things they've done, and saying that killing them is the only way to clean up crime and evil in the city. in otherwords, Raph would be like Punisher, aka Frank Castle, that Guy's Psychotic, he'll Sniper-Kill a person for being a Litter Bug, and you express raph in the same context, which raph is not.

Raph Cares about his family, he would never openly do anything to hurt them physically or emotionally and he's not an emotionally challenged tree-stump that punches everything. if anything he has too much emotion, this adds to him simply having a short temper. but when push comes to shove when it involves something being wrong with his brothers and he's genuinely worried, he doesn't act the Jerky sarcastic, cynical turtle that we've all come to love in him, he puts all of that away and tries helping the brother in distress feel better.

Mikey being depressed is not normal for Mikey, depressed isn't even meant to be in Mikey's life-dictionary, raph knows this and raph would be the first to try to find a way to help mikey feel better when Leo and Don's attempts failed, he wouldn't act like mikey was just pulling another prank or being childish to get attention. He'd definitely recognize that Mikey was not right in the head emotionally

**

Michelangelo:

For the most part you had him accurate and In character even after he became depressed and reclusive when the kitten died. that made me cry by the way, you hit me at home with his depression, i lost my mother, all four of my grandparents on my mother and my father's sides, two uncles from my mom's family and my aunt from my mother's side, so yeah, i resonated with mikey in this chapter.

But Later on...while being cheery and bubbly is part of his character dynamic i felt even that was a little out of character for him. Mikey only plays up the role of a Naive teenager and does so in a way that he keeps himself and his brothers entertained. the Childish pranking with Don's spy blimp was accurate. However by the final chapter, having him be mikey again without explaining or emphasizing what helped him get over his depression, felt too rushed and inaccurate to the stages of depression.

I've been through them and i can tell you, even while some people react differently with depression, there's no way mikey could have gotten over it that quickly. Yes you had mikey come out of his depression and reclusiveness when leo suggested the funeral, but by the end afterwards you didn't have a coping mechanism to help mikey stay out of his depression after the funeral. Especially when after they dropped April off he saw the murderers of Klunk and his family again.

you had the right reaction when they say him, mikey stayed frozen and he reacted with rage in seeing them making it look like he was going to jump them, and you had it right with donnie keeping Mikey's attention off them and getting him home to the lair like they promised splinter. But then after raph and leo fought and frightened those punks. you basically turned the Mikey switch on high and broke it off.

again while the behavior is part of Mikey's character Dynamic, emotionally that's inaccurate, knowing what mikey is like as a "person" and knowing what he went through, there's no way that he would be his normal bubbly cheery self so soon after the funeral since klunk's death is so fresh in his mind, there's no possible way anyone would be over their depression in the span of 24 hours.

unless you had a coping mechanism for Mikey outside of Leo suggesting the funeral for Klunk where he could get over his depression in 24 hrs. Mikey's behavior is not only inaccurate but also worrysome because one of the stages of depression is self-denial, acting like yourself, like nothing ever happened and ignoring what caused the depression in the first place is the worst thing anyone can do, especially someone like Mikey, it'll make their depression worse, i'm still speaking from experience on this.

**

Donatello:

While Don does tend to get neurotic with things he's unfamiliar with, he's not neurotic all the time, he's actually very calm and reserved as far as his emotions go.

as for his lack of veterenary knowledge, he may not know cats where being a doctor is concerned, but he did study some veterenary practices where turtles are concerned given that they can't exactly go to see a real doctor if they get injured or sick. remember Donnie has a Turtle anatomy diagram in his lab. so he has some "Schooling" as a doctor given he was the only one smart enough to know his chemicals to fix up an Anti-venom for fishface's own venomous bite.

so he would have known enough to reassure mikey he'd do all he can, without making it seem like he was in a dead panic not understanding what mikey was doing asking him to help Klunk.

otherwise everything else with Don was pretty accurate.

**

Leonardo:

I Can't even choose where to begin first with this one, while he is the leader of the turtles, you paint him as the same unsure and unsettled older brother than he was in the first episode, if this is during April's training as a Kunoichi then Leo should already be experienced as a leader since by that time it's almost been a year and a half since the turtles met april and came out into the world.

his Behavior wasn't that of a supportive older brother at all, it was more like the annoyed babysitter. the way he chided donnie for calling april, granted there's alot of things don does unreasonably in order to be anywhere near april, but when push comes to shove, Don knows better and leo had no right to restrict don from calling him when it concerned the mental health of his own brother.

something like that seemed more like a Raph thing to do since it's Raph that primarily picked on Donnie for crushing hard on April and being inappropriate about it alot of the time. Leo should know by now what the priorities are, his priority should have been to help mikey in any way he can, he wouldn't make a fuss about Donnie wanting to call April. point of fact he would have encouraged it because in her own way April did experience loss, and they could have asked her about it sooner, accept you wrote that April had to get home ASAP to her aunt so her leaving couldn't be helped. Not to say they couldn't call though, were this in an episode, Leo more than likely would have suggested Don call April for advice on dealing with loss anyway, and if not her, then they should have gone to splinter

**

Splinter:

Which brings me to splinter, he was heavily OOC for this story, especially concerning his sons being in distress.

this isn't mikey getting depressed over a game character not being carried over to a new game, or a comic being discontinued, he for the first time (likely by my impression on your Fic here) in his life witnessed the death of an innocent life for the entertainment of a pair of human punks.

The other two turtles, Leo and Don explained this to him, but he acts coldly and tells his sons to leave him alone till he felt he was ready to come to them?

he's a shit parent in your fic if he says to do that. if this were a series episode- no in any incarnation of the turtles from the classic episode, the movies, the 2k3 series and on, Splinter is a Father as well as a sensei. In this series they emphasized the father aspect as much as they did the ninja master Sensei aspect.

if his sons so much as get a stubbed Toe hes' there to ask what happened, how it happened and so on like any good father would. This is especially true if he hears something is wrong emotionally with Michelangelo, of all four of his sons, Michelangelo is affected so much he's closed himself off from everyone is cause for severe concern from Splinter.

Triple especially when it concerns him seeing the death of an innocent life at the hands of two evil humans (I know they were only punks but anyone that goes out of their way to murder kittens and cats cuz "it's Fun" to me is evil either way) that did it for "fun" and "laughs" at the end of it. Splinter knows all about that having witnessed a man that was once his friend and clan-brother Kill his wife Tang Shen, as well as believing his daughter Miwa Died (before he found out that she actually survived and was raised by Shredder)

Splinter in his right mind would not say to leave Michelangelo alone and come to them in his own due time, as I said witnessing a pair of punks murder a family of cats then seeing the death of one he thought would survive out of

This is the perfect way to get Mikey's mind off what happened to that kitten-

"-violent crime rate in New York City up 8% since the last month-"

"What the heck's wrong with people!?" Leo exclaimed, in shock.

HAHAHSHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA THAT MOMENT WHEN YOU ARE TRYING TO CHEER SOMEONE UP AND THE TV MESSES EVERYTHING UP HAHAHAHAH

You write Raphael the best. He's really in character.

I loved this story! You did such a good job in the whole thing keeping everyone in character. I was wondering how you were going to bring it back around after taking such a dark turn the last chapter. You did it skillfully.

I really like how you explored a little bit of Raph's...dark side without taking the focus off of Mikey. And the ending was a great way to bring the reader back around after showing that little bit of shadow in Raph's personality.

This is reading like the show, I'm so enjoying it!

Again, I think you did a great job keeping everyone in character. Even a sad Mikey, those who soar high fall low.

This is so sweet!

You did a really good job of drawing the reader in with the first scene. You kept everyone in character, and I'm looking forward to more.

I'm glad you posted this story. It was really good and it is a shame it had to end.

Awww Raph Really Is A Good Brother Isn't He? & What A Cute Cat. I Have A Cat That Has White Sock-Like Paws, & White Whiskers & White Eyebrows & The Tip Of His Tail Is White, But His Main Color Is Black, Not Gray.

& I'm Glad That Mikey Isn't Going To Be Depressed Again. Depressed!Mikey Is No Fun & Almost Scary To Read.

Great Story Though, Very Well Written With Minimal Errors. XD