Given the dialogue between Erwin and Pearce, I’ve got a bad feeling that a crappy romantic subplot will interfere with reading about school kids driving tanks from the Second World War.

I adore this fic (have read it twice now) and strongly wish to see its renewal/continuation. HereticalShinigami, if you ever see this comment it would be appreciated to this community if you could provide even a short update. You did make a promise to us :D

This is my favorite GUP story! But question, is this fic dead? The last update was at June, 2017. So, is it safe to assume that you’ve left this fanfic?

Hmm Professional Military academies versues Japanese Schoolgirls. Wonder who is going to win

Is this fic dead :(

It's great to see a new chapter! Don't worry that it's taking so long...rl comes first, unfortunately! As long as you keep bringing out great work like this chapter, no one is going to get too upset at the length of time between updates! Anyway, with that said, I enjoyed this slice of life chapter quite a bit, but I can't wait to get to the good stuff...like the meeting between Kuromorimine & Bradley *Queue the fireworks!* So please, keep up the fantastic work, and good luck on your Masters!

It's good to see that you're back. I understand that you're busy with things that are greater priorities than writing fanfics, and you're not alone- I can think of a few other people I'm following who have gone at least six months without updating their fanfics.

I liked the look at Wellesley's carrier, and the various considerations they have to take into account due to it being a military vessel. The series could have shown more about life on school ships, since there are some people, like the Akiyamas, who live and work on them.

The remarks about Shinzaburou were a nice look at his character. I always felt that he had a sense of loyalty to Hana that went beyond his being employed by/learning under her mother(as you can see in his efforts to mend ties between Hana and Yuri), even if it's unclear what the nature of that loyalty is.

It's true that Miho's self-esteem is fairly low, but there are limits to how far she'll go for validation. She seems to have realized long ago that her mother expects nothing less of her than total obedience to the Nishizumi style's tenets- something Miho has known is impossible since Chapter 7 of Little Army, if not earlier. As such, Miho seems to have accepted that she'll never have her mother's approval, even if she's not entirely happy about it- note that she doesn't seem to know about Shiho's change of heart, since she's scared to go home, and never ends up seeing her mother in der Film.

That's an interesting look at Shiho, and why she might approve of Miho's accomplishments, even if she can't show it. That said, she does say in der Film that there is no luck in tankery directly in reference to Oarai's victory- perhaps saying that Miho got lucky against Kuromorimine would soften the blow to that school's reputation, but it would also go against the Nishizumi belief that hard work and discipline are most important in tankery.

Speaking of Shiho and manners, she doesn't necessarily seem to be the type to interrupt. It's possible that Miho's "But Mother-" was cut off because Shiho wasn't finished speaking, rather than because Shiho had no interest in letting Miho talk.

The way Shiho describes Miho's return to tankery seems to imply that Shiho thinks that Miho went to Oarai with the intention of doing tankery there. This isn't exactly a bad thing as far as your story goes, since it's entirely possible that Shiho arrived at that conclusion if she didn't know how or why Miho got into tankery again.

The vocabulary used in that scene with Shiho and Emma seemed significantly more advanced and archaic than the rest of the chapter, both in the dialogue and narration. In Shiho's case, I suspect that while she uses relatively formal speech, it seems more characteristic of her to use simple and precise language for maximum clarity, befitting her no-nonsense personality.

Here are a few minor notes.
*"Leopon team are the mechanics I'm guessing" sounds like Yoda-speak, and should be something like "I'm guessing Leopon Team's the mechanics."
*"Myself and Miss Nishizumi" should be "Miss Nishizumi and I". "Myself" often sounds fairly awkward when used to describe oneself, although it's sometimes used instead of "me".
*"her temper flair" should have "flare" instead, like the title o the omake.
*Incidentally, Yukari would call Mako "Miss Reizei," rather than her first name, when she says "Perhaps we could meet at Mako's house?"

It may just be me, but while I'm a fan of reading and writing chapters that have character development and worldbuilding rather than action, I'm finding that the pacing is starting to drag a little, since after several fairly long chapters(25-30), we're still building up to the two on two battle. A fair amount of it is laying the necessary groundwork, both in-universe and as a story, but it's starting to feel a bit tedious at times.

Still, this was a good chapter.

Kobayashi-sensei, I see what you did there ;). Welcome back, you actually got me off my butt and motivated to start working on my own story again, so we'll see what comes of that I guess XD. And so begins the true preparations, the girls are finally headed for the Dauntless. Hope you update soon, I'll be waiting :)

First off, as a fellow academic, good luck with your Master's thesis as well as your PhD. Perhaps someday, I'll get the chance to read your works.

On to the review

The initial part with Ooarai was extremely well written since you got everyone's personalities right. That small bit with everyone talking about their packing before rushing off fits well with the series' way of showing things with small details that are easily missed. The Ooarai girls' lightheartness contrasts well with the more militaristic ways of Wellesley.

You got the Anglerfish team's friendship spot on with the way they interacted in this chapter. From Saori's caring to Mako's snark and laziness as well as Hana's refined lady manners, it felt like watching the original thing while feeling that their relationships had evolved into a new family.

That part when Yukari was introspecting was excellent as well. It really gives an understanding of her friendship with everyone and why she loves them.

Hippo Team... wonderful is all I can say. You've managed to take a small group of secondary characters and fleshed them out without sue-ing them. The friendship is well shown with realistic interactions such as the bargaining scene with Saemonza and the others. That was funny and reminds of my relationship with some of my pals.

As for Pearce and Wellesley, it shows that they evolved. They aren't Mary Sues who are unstoppable. Pearce going from a cold distant person to someone trying his best to befriend his teammates truly is one of the strong aspects of your fic. The growing friendship between them helps support this. His planning is also well thought out. Hart's growing confidence is also fun to contrast with his character at the beginning. Is he gonna meet Ami Chouno again as she's coaching Ooarai?

That part with Emma and Shiho is always well thought out. The two very different personnalities discussing made an interesting conversation. Fleshing out Shiho by making her conflicted about her decisions and roles is something I don't see often. It is very well done and sheds some light on her personality that we don't see often in the series. It also explains the character developement she had between the series and Der Film.

Overall, I'm finally happy to see an update for this fic. The only thing missing would be the interactions between Kuromorimine and Bradley which might be quite interesting... Here's hoping Erika can keep a lid on her temper or Maho can control her... ha!

Hey pal,

glad to see you back, don't feel too bad about not getting back to this any sooner, even despite our best intentions there's always going to be obstacles, hiccups, and whatever life might dem worthy to hurl in one's general direction.

I loved all the little tidbits, it was soothing, calming and amusing at the same time. I really love these small slice of life moments in GuP stories and sadly not many writers feel the need to portray them in their stories when these are really the bread and butter. The entire scene with Anglerfish was just adorable.

Just focus first on getting the jobs doen that need to be done first. Make sure that you graduate that master of yours.

Anyway I'll be wishing you the best and eagerly await the next chapter, until then and take care.

As usual, you knocked it out of the park HShin. I always enjoy your new additions to this story

Keep up the great work. PM me if you can.

KW

Really loving the story so far. I hope you will continue it as I am looking forward to seeing where it goes.

Normally I am not a big fan of OC characters as they tend to be sues or bad SI's. But you have created OC's that are intresting, likeable and feel real.

Wonderful story you got going here.

You managed to avoid the many mistakes that other authors do when writing GuP fanfics most notably flanderizing the characters.

Can't wait to see the rest.

You say you couldn't write a romance subplot even if you tried. Well, you were right, because you seem to have written one by accident. I was quite surprised to see you mention that you were going to try actively steer clear of romance, as up until then I was seeing subtle hints of chemistry between a couple of pairs of characters. And then Sam and Jo went for that drink.
You sure you couldn't write it if you tried? Because that was a legitimately believable date (for lack of a better word). I mean, the problem with quite a few romance fics is they go way too overboard with the chemistry.
"Once their eyes locked together, it was like a magnetic force was keeping them together. Neither could pull away their gaze from the gorgeous angel before them. They were both thinking a million thoughts a second, 'Do I want it?', 'Should I take it a step further?', 'What if they reject me?' "
Y'know, that shit that makes you want to puke. Yet the interactions between Jo and Sam were very believable. I could even believe that Chris and Amy (that's the hot headed driver, right?) had a thing going on.

But I getcha. If you don't think you could write romance, best to steer clear from it. Worst comes to worst, bad action writing is only confusing, bad storytelling is only confusing, bad character development is just unbelievable, but bad romance is downright cringe worthy.

This character progression was pretty beautifully done. I've seen other GuP fanfics attempt to breathe life into their characters by making little "slice of life" segments that just fall flat, because they think all that is needed is for the characters to take turns saying something in a conversation and think that's enough to make them seem three dimensional.
You don't do that. The first thing you did correctly was not make the same character fifty time over with a different interest/quirk for each one. Each character has a different flaw, a different ideal, different way of speaking. And you don't limit the friendly interactions between them to just between matches and practice sessions, even from within the tanks they're joking and insulting each other affectionately in the way British people do!

I find it a bit strange that after so many days of being absent with nobody even having seen him that school itself wouldn't step in to investigate Sam's absence, he was gone for a long while. I'm assuming the argument with Erwin is what got him down, to the point he couldn't leave the house, which is fair enough. But I couldn't help but think Sam is a character who, after two days at most, would just say "Right, if I don't get over myself now, the team will suffer under the lack of leadership. I need to stop feeling sorry for myself, swallow it, and just get out there."
That could've led to some interesting bits of writing, as everyone could've noticed that Sam "seemed to be struggling to keep his expressionless face on, which shook the nerves of the whole team, Hart included. None of them had ever seen him in this way before!". Or something like that.

Something that's bothered me with the last two chapters: it's not entirely clear what language everyone is speaking in. Very early on, it was fine, it was easy to assume that when we are in Ooarai's perspective the spoken language is Japanese, and when we are in Wellesley's perspective it's English.
But then interactions between the two occur. When Ami and John meet up, they speak to each other fluently. AT the time I just said to myself "Ok, I'll give the benefit of the doubt and assume Ami can speak English. It started with John's perspective, so it started with English and nothing was otherwise said when Ami approached. She's part of the League which deals with international affairs and English is the lingua franca. Makes sense!"
Then Erwin and Sam interacted. In English or Japanese? Well I assume Japanese since it was never established that Erwin spoke a lick of it, but then has Sam's Japanese faltered at all? It had been a while after all, had he been keeping up with it? It would've also provided for some interesting writing, as you could've emphasised how he recognised the voice calling for him, and it was attracting him to find it all the more as it was talking in the language he had long since left. Or something cheesy like that.
Then there was the interaction between Wellesley and St Gloriana. No real issues there, it was fine to assume that St Gloriana had strict English classes.
But then Ooarai and Wellesley started interacting. Fluently. Without difficulty. How? That's where it fell flat a little for me.

But I am still absolutely loving this story. I'm still adoring Pearce. There just so much about him that reminds me of me. Not the superintelligence, of course XD
I mean the little things. Like the coat, the black leather gloves, the way he consciously tucks the cuffs of his gloves into his sleeves. He lived abroad and was shunned for being an outsider until he finally learnt to say "Just ignore it". He's just so relatable for me, and I thank you for gracing us with him.