There will always be a choice between the darkness and the light. Your story, this piece, presents that choice, and a particular end thereof, very well. Even though this is quite a long review, I think you will find meaning in it, perhaps even meaning in your own story, which you may never see, until you have looked through my eyes.

On my coat rack shelf, there sits a leaf. It is withered, twisting upon itself, as it slowly fades from this world. It was given to me by a mentor and dear friend. I was told to write about the leaf, so that others would know it at first sight, just from what I said about it. The leaf is like Link.

Once upon a dream, it held color, brightly shining in its place among the history of its tree. But with a sudden storm, the leaf was lost. Estranged from its life source, it withered and faded, just as Link gave into the darkness when he was estranged from his forest, from his “tree.”

The heart will change, just as day turns to night, as fall gives rise to winter. As the leaves fade, so too, must man. As the Tree of Years gains another ring, truths turn to stories, stories will become legends, legends will give rise to myths, and eventually, even the myths will be forgotten. Even so, Good and Evil, Light and Dark, shall always remain. Tales of such are timeless.

Now to review the mechanics of your story. This part is not vital, it’s just some tips. The mechanics need work. Grammatical structure and spelling are somewhat lax. Even though you are not writing for academia, you should always strive for literary perfection.

The ideas of the story were good, and pretty well developed. I think personally (from an authors standpoint), that there is more there. You can dig deeper, I know you can.

The word choice was decent, but not sparkling. Do not misunderstand me, the word choice was, like I said, decent. But it lacks flavor. If you truly aspire to mesmerize your audience, use words that are more descriptive.

The sentence fluency sometimes lost me, and I had to reread some passages. That needs a little work as well.

Punctuation was decent, with no major problems. There was the occasional semicolon where it shouldn’t be, but that is no big deal. Semicolons are one of the more difficult punctuation marks to use, and personally, I avoid them altogether! :)

As far as voice, the most important aspect of any written word, it is perfect. This story was original in feel. I have read lots of fan fictions over the years (although I seldom review!), and this is one of my favorites. I believe that if you were to revise it, tightening up “the little things that kill,” it could be one of the best on the site.

The story was good, and I enjoyed it. The above is just some friendly author to author advice.

wow that was sad

Oh... Chapter 10... I swear I nearly cried... Poor Saria... A truly great story, but still... *sniffle* So sad...

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

sounds like sweet story to me

*cries* It's so pretty! I even have my own ocarina and at the end I started playing the Song of Time and crying! Oh, I love you! *hugs the author, crying*

I tell you, I'm going to read this! *tries to sit still and read* its no use, im in to big of an Inu-Yasha mood, grrr! *stalks off* mrph...

chap 10 is very compelling,i love your story! Keep makin it

*cries* Was that sad chapter truly the ending? *cries even more* That's so sad! No! Poor Link and Saria *pauses* um...wait a minuet, at the end they were happy! *cheers* This was really well done!

~Lord KaioShin

And thus Link: The Hero of Time passed. And I hunted down Kurisutaru for such a sad ending.

*rides off on a horse with a sword drawn high above his head*

WHAT'S IN YOUR WALLET?

... I'm sure all that I could say has already been said, so I'll just say good chp.

boohooo i nearly cried it was sooo upsetting but very well written.

Oh no! I can't take the suspense! I hope Link has concquerd the evil, but I don't want him to die! *cries* Poor Link... Please continue!

This is torture! You have to update before I go insane with the suspense! Poor Saira...domn...poor Link! I have to know how it all turns out! Update!

BOOYAA! Who called it? I found this one to be pretty confusing around the middle but it's still good.