go's to far from kingdom hearts lore (roxas has no brother and cloud dosent know who roxas is) this is ok but not the best

OMG!
Thank you for continuing to write this story!
This chapter was one of the best!

It was EPIC!

I like it can I be in it

Roxas... YOU ARE VERY STUPID!

I really like this story and I'm eager to know how it continues and ends so please please please please times 44 UPDTE

I realy like this fic, read it all in like an hour. I'm surprised at how few reviews you have for this.

Here I start out thinking this is a hospital fic. Then, Axel storms the scene, and suddenly it's looking a lot more like crime. Now, I'm not sure what it is, but it's fun, and I like it.

Your Roxas is beautiful. The best part is that I adore him for exactly the same reasons I like his canon self. He's frayed at the edges, presented as a bit mysterious, sweet to his friends, and willing to make dangerous sacrifices. He's out to spite the Organization, too. Except this time Axel jumped on the bandwagon, and this Riku doesn't appear to have any ulterior motives or reasons to prevent Roxas from doing anything completely crazy, so the wheels are off.

One thing:
"I got hit once on my left arm when I tried to dodge and I can't feel or move that limb any more."

I'm not sure if you meant to write it like that, but you seem to be switching tenses, "got" and "tried" being past, while "can't" is present. May I suggest saying that he "couldn't feel" instead?

I've noticed other tense flips throughout the story, too.

Overall, it's been an enjoyable story. Kudos :)

Awesome chapter! _ can't wait for the next! :3

Awww poor Roxas :( but atleast sora knows now so he can make him feell better

This is so great! Please update soon! _

This story is pretty awesome maybe next chapter you explain a little more about the organization and why they wanted to kill sora's family.

This is pretty interesting. I would like to see just what Sora will do here to protect his friend. Please, continue.

MORE PLEASE! :D THIS IS SO EXCITING! though i hate what sora said to roxas...poor roxas...but hopefully roxas will wake up soon :) update soon please!

This is good! w