It seem like you ain't gonna come back to the story anytime soon, which make me really sad since I was intrigued by this story of how you were able to tackle and combine the two different stories.

Sure, it ain't that perfect. Had some flaws then and there as it was pointed by some other people. Like how the characters behaved suddenly/violently different or how their core-motives seem to crossed themselves.

But, I still personnally like your story on how things run and connect to eachother so smoothly. After all, I see fanfictions as canvases of many possible creativities. Just like the name "Fan-Fic", the works are up to the owners to fufill the already existed stories with their own thoughts and ideas. And for me, I'll say that you did a good job for sharing your own ideals of this cross-over. You have had me been reading your work for quite a good o amount of time and I had enjoyed it as much.
I would personnally give your work 8/10 on overall, and I respect your dedication to your own story, thank you for the good read I have had.

And one last thing I want to point out to Disciple of Ember, if you ever find yourself curious in the "Saving some people asses on Monday, only just to clap them yourself next Tuesday" feels like. Look up Cpt. Martin Walker and try to experience 'The Line' he had crossed during his 'Spec Ops' in Dubai. You cannot understand, nor do you want to.

"Cognitive dissonance is an uncomfortable feeling caused by holding two conflicting ideas simultaneously."

This is getting interesting, weird disconnection aside. I think I know a part of that issue though. You're not putting in any scene padding on all that dialog. So I'm losing the image I think.

Anyway. I love this double psych thing. I can see them coming to terms better now. Candeloro just wants connections, and now she learns how to grow them naturally.

I don't know. Somehow, I don't feel the characters at all. It's weird... Maybe it's because I left the story for so long? I'm not used to your writing style. Plus, I come here from a horrible story, so it kinda taints my perception I think.

Well, I'm back. Not really sure why I temporarily dropped this story so closely to the last published chapter rather than just finish it. But I'm back now, and I'm sure as hell not dropping it again.

Yum! Drinking is good!

Noooo Mami why?

All right. I'm going to start this out by apologizing because... well, because I had hoped to leave a happier review after catching up with the story. All the positive stuff I said in my last one still stands, but I'm afraid that some of the other things have become more serious in these last few chapters.

I don't want to make it sound like I'm insulting your work, because that's not my intent in the slightest, but it's been getting harder and harder to keep reading. I wasn't sure on the exact reason at first, but after giving it some thought, I've started realizing something I'm not happy to realize. Namely, the fact that your cast are steadily becoming sociopaths.

Yes, that's an extreme accusation, and yes, I know I'm probably overstepping things a bit by making it, but the way things have been developing, Mami in particular, really makes it hard to believe they're still supposed to be the same people. I'm not just talking about having developed over time either, as the very core of who they were seems to have been overwritten.

Mami is a good example, especially since she's the main character. She has been showing more and more sympathy towards Candeloro as time goes on, even as Candeloro gives her less and less reason to. By this point, she's not only trying to befriend the self-admitted serial killer, but is actually standing up for her, claiming that "it's her nature" and "she had to" both of which are blatant lies. In fact, Candeloro went directly against her nature in torturing and killing those girls, since it released them from her grasp, something she had quite specifically touched on more than once. She defied her own needs just to hurt people and make them suffer as much as possible. Claiming that Candeloro is a person too doesn't mean a thing at that point, given that those girls were also people, yet she murdered the whole lot of them just for kicks, before enslaving the minds and hearts of their friends and family. I know that from the story-telling perspective they were just nameless extras, but it's near impossible to take this Mami seriously when she's so ready to totally disregard the lives of those people in order to back up one who openly gets off on the memory of their deaths.

On that topic, Hana's sister is also a pretty nasty point that brings up a few questions. Candeloro severed her connection to her sister, removing every thread of their bond, and yet not only is Mami not opposed to the decision, she actually goes on to support it claiming that Candeloro helped Hana move on after her death. I... really don't feel like I need to point out how wrong that is. Putting aside the fact that Candeloro was the one who killed her in the first place, something she was absolutely in full control of at the time despite Mami's claims, looking back on the face of a loved one and feeling nothing but apathy at their death isn't moving on. That's something much worse. The fact that Mami goes on to claim that the dead don't matter and shouldn't maintain any connection in the hearts of the living felt like a really desperate attempt to salve a bleeding injury in the narrative.

Hana then goes on to compare her sister's broken bond to the girls they were trying to save. This, while not as obvious as the others, is a pretty massive hole in the story as well. She's saying that she felt the same towards her sister, someone she couldn't physically care less about thanks to Candeloro's actions, as she did towards those girls. She is, quite literally, saying their lives were completely worthless to her. If this is the case, why in the world is she putting her own life on the line trying to save people she doesn't care about? Why go through the danger when they have nothing to gain from it? It's certainly not just to do the right thing, since they've given up on that notion a while back.

The fact that Candeloro is now going around making "friends" with those who were close to the people she tortured and killed (while gloating about their deaths, I might add) is just... hard to read. It really is. Saying she's lonely doesn't un-kill everyone who died. Think about if this story was written from the perspective of one of the girls who were killed. Would this scene look like a nice bonding moment? I highly doubt it. Unless they had no regard for their own lives and a sense of forgiveness that would humble a saint, they'd probably be horrified.

By this point, it feels almost as though Candeloro was initially planned as being a pure-evil character in the narrative, but then the plan changed after she'd started down that path. It's too late for her to be a good guy, no matter how lonely she's supposed to be. And given her attitude, she's not nearly as bad off as everyone claims she is. Even if she starts helping save lives, that doesn't undo the damage she's inflicted. Morality doesn't work like that. Saving someone on Monday doesn't mean you're allowed to kill any old pedestrian you happen by on Tuesday.

Okay. Rant over. I'm sorry for all of that, because I know you've done so much to craft this story, and there's still a ton that I do like about it. I know my opinion doesn't mean much, having only just found this recently, but I figured I'd at least make it known. I think I'm going to leave this story here. Sorry again, but it's hard seeing them try to justify things while ignoring all the points they themselves made earlier in the narrative.

Was planning on catching up with the story fully before leaving this review just in case things changed, but I figured this was far enough in to at least leave something. Throwing my two cents in since this story definitely deserves feedback.

Firstly, let me just say that this is a really interesting crossover. The ties between Touhou and PMMM's new world are pretty cool to consider, as well as the detail that went into integrating the two of them together. Already knew how much work you put into that from A Satori's Tale, but it's still impressive to see.

Secondly, the clash between the two is really well handled. Usually crossovers I've seen suffer from having one side completely dominate the other, and while the power balance is definitely far in Touhou's favor here, the hope aspect of the Magical Girls' attacks was a very nice touch. It gave them an edge despite the fact that they were otherwise outclassed in almost all respects, and makes the fights much more interesting.

I'll admit, I'm a big fan of both Mami and Satori so seeing them interact (even if they don't seem to be fans of each other) was really cool. Particularly given how they really didn't pull punches in any respect, but still seem to be developing a sense of respect. At least Mami might be. Hard to tell with Satori.

The action is nicely done, and even without spell-card duels (which you did a great job of handling by the way, giving them a feeling of both a battle and a concert) fighting was frantic, and retained its sense of impact. Seeing Mami start to claw her way up the power-ladder to the point where she first endured combat, then won, gave a really nice sense of character development. The fact that the magic resonance makes for such a poetic radar system only added to the effect.

That said, there were a couple things that stood out to me. I apologize if these come across as harsh, but I figured I'd leave some criticisms on some aspects. Hopefully they're helpful, but you're free to disregard them if they're not.

Character inconsistency seems to be a bit of a hitch. Given the fact that things seem to have run into delays along the way (just guessing from the author's notes) that makes sense, but there are some places where it gets difficult. Candeloro's hunt being a big one in my eyes.

She pretty much went through the barrier, hunted down Mami's classmates, and forced her to watch (which is an important note since she seemed to be VERY conscious and aware at the time) as she then tortured a group of girls to death in a rather graphic manner. It was... extreme, but that's to be expected from an evil character trying to traumatize their opposition. Only Mami wasn't traumatized. She seemed to feel a little guilty, and then shrug her shoulders with the idea that it's just what Youkai do. Later on, it appears to have been changed so that she no longer remembers until Candeloro uses those memories to torment her, but even then she seems far more bothered by the fact that it was graphic than the fact that the girls had been killed by someone who she was supposed to keep under control.

Even now, face to face with the victims' friends and family, they still kind of underplay the whole mass-murder aspect and make it sound more like a feud, even allowing Candeloro some amount of freedom despite her self-admitted crimes. Given that Mami has undergone complete psychological collapse from far less than this in canon, it's hard to believe that she is so dismissive of the fact that Candeloro, and by extension Mami herself, spent a night killing her friends in class as slowly and horribly as she could. She may have been somewhat desensitized to death (or violence rather, as she didn't actually see much death) in Gensokyo, but there's still a pretty big leap being made.

On that topic, it appears as if Candeloro is setting up for a redemption/forgiveness ending, which doesn't really sit well with me personally. It's one thing to take a bad guy and give them a sense of slowly developing morals that kick in prior to stepping over the line, but once you torture a couple dozen schoolgirls to death, it's kind of past the point of no return. I would like to put special emphasis on the word torture since she made a point of doing that as opposed to simply hunting for what she needed.

Just as a minor side-note, the numbers also seem a bit inflated. If several hundred people died a month in the city from Youkai the way Kyubey commented on, in addition to the death that happened naturally, there wouldn't be a city for very long.

This isn't to say it's all bad. I do like the interesting dynamic that's going on with the Witches. Their personalities are unique, while still carrying hints of their canon incarnations, and adding in a bit of newborn inexperience on top of things. Candeloro's shouting match with Satori in particular was pretty great to read. Plus, seeing Koishi play tag-along with Madoka was really amusing, as is the idea that Octavia is just kind of chilling in Satori's basement doing her own thing while all of this is going on.

All in all, it's been a very interesting read so far. Well meshed overall, and while some aspects I personally don't agree with, it's got a powerful pull to it. Great writing.

When Candeloro met QB, I was certain she would try to take over the network. At least threat to destroy it if QB didn't cooperate.

And the other scene was just cute. It's good that those two are finally starting to compromise.

I guess getting to Madoka was not gonna be that easy. And Homulily was a bit too harsh there... Although being a witch, she's fixated on Madoka as much as Candeloro is fixated on connections.

Things are getting more complicated.

You still didn't describe how Candeloro looks...

Oh, right. This guy has appeared before... Completely forgot.

I think this is the first time a male was mentioned in this fic. Except that Kappa a while back... Not sure which one that was one was. Touhou truly suffered from female overload...

This story feels like a grand quest or something. The objectives keep changing. I get that you're trying to showcase as much of the Touhou world as possible, but I feel like it's too much, too quickly. Characters come and go, without the chance to leave an impression.