(National Anthem starts playing)

Good fanfic you need to continue

I'm not a link /susan shipper, but after reading this, it gives a plausible reason why it is a ship. It was great, and I like the idea that Susan cares about the wellbeing of others and decides not to go Ginorminca, that and for modesty. It was subtle, and refreshing :)

Great story! I love how you stayed true to Link's macho facade, while still maintaining his soft side as well. Link/Susan stories are tragically sparse, so I'd like to thank you for this wonderful little gem.

Also, despite what others may think, I believe that the most important part of a story is the consistency of character and content. Grammar and construction is less important, unless it completely takes away from the story, and I found nothing distracting about your grammar whatsoever! So please keep writing and just ignore petty criticisms that aren't constructive...chances are they can't write nearly as well as you can. (;

And herewith an overly-detailed and anal review of A Day at the Beach, divided, like Caesar's Gaul, into three parts...

**Anal Grammar and Writing Part**

Your grammar and tenses seem to have improved, but there are a few minor issues.
"He had eventually gave in"
should be
"He had eventually given in"
Also, change
"a pale blue Hawaiian shirt, navy swim trunks"
to
"a pale blue Hawaiian shirt and navy swim trunks"
And
"being careful as to not to whack anyone"
to
"being careful not to whack anyone"

"A few of the kids saw him and soon was playing"
goes to
"A few of the kids saw him and soon were playing"
And, when that's followed right away by "Monger had bid them goodbye" it makes it seem as if Monger had bidden the children goodbye.

"had grown more mature since his capture and learned to respect"
to
"had grown more mature since his capture and had learned to respect"

"...inside of the cooler"
to
"...inside the cooler"
This "of" is completely redundant. I am seeing it increasingly often in Internet writing.
"He took it off of the shelf," for example. "Off the shelf" is better.

"Meanwhile, it was two hours later"? Choose one or the other, I would say...

While it's speech, and therefore could be seen as character error (like "bestest"), it's subtle enough to not be an obvious character error, so I would also suggest changing "such a beautiful and sweet girl like you" to "such a ... girl as you." "Such" already has the "like" meaning to it.

Be careful with excessive adjectives. Something like "Link good-humoredly shoved her" is a bit awkward. Perhaps something like "Link shoved her, a huge grin on his face."

It's best to avoid exclamation marks outside of direct speech.
And avoid using "alright." The correct form is "all right." "Alright" is seen often in non-professional writing, but is not (yet) accepted in professional writing. And I do like to think fanfiction should at least aspire to be the best it can.

Also, as a general rule, numbers that can be written with one word should be. "Five" not "5," "a million," not "1,000,000." That sort of thing. When it comes to two words, it's a bit more vague. Sometimes it works. My preference is to use words over numbers, but of course if using words makes it hard to understand, always use numbers.

**Random Comments Part**

A meteor storm? How on earth did the monsters prevent that? The mind boggles.

A day trip where getting there takes 9 hrs 35 mins? Painful. Somewhere around the Fourth Level of Dante's Inferno - Fifth with Bob along. On checking, I find Pismo Beach is a real place. So do you have a place in mind where the secret base might be? Hidden somewhere in Zion perhaps?

TV Series Susan can of course walk among normal humans whenever she likes. She IS a normal human 95% of the time.

Oh dear. Garters and socks with sandals. On the plus side, I can easily imagine him wearing them.

A new appellation needs to be created for Series Susan, as she is clearly not a giantess. Actually, it might have been a bit more acceptable if the series had made Small Susan still extremely tall (like nine feet) which would still make her a giant, but also small enough to interact in the ways the lazy series writers wanted.
It really comes across as bizarre in sentences like this:
"...the giantess eventually spoke, albeit softly. Link looked down at his friend and smiled, placing an arm around her tiny frame."
The giantess's tiny frame? Yes, agreed the dwarf, his massive frame dominating the room.

"Sparkle Fangs"? Susan isn't into Twilight is she?

To be really anal, if it was night, the flags should have been lowered. But that's fairly common in real life as well.

**Actual Review Part**

I'd prefer Susan save herself rather than Link needing to do it, but it would be interesting to develop that theme a little more - a greater emphasis on Link seeing in these boys what he used to be. In fact it could be an idea to have him start off as being the bikini-chaser we all know and love from the film, and then start to change his mind when he sees, in Susan, just how his own antics would have appeared to his victims. This would keep the main beats of the story and still allow for some character growth, making it less of a slice of life and giving it more depth. Instead you've shoved all the character growth into a quick statement about it already having happened (though without much explanation as to why). Like your previous one, it's a ship-fic, so you want the emphasis to be on how Link feels about Susan (and vice-versa), but there's no reason it can't come as the result of character growth. To be blunt about it, *why* does Link love Susan? Presumably it's not an addiction to her shampoo scent (although the same scent seems to have snared Doc as well - ooh, a secret plot!). In both this and "Forgive and Forget" you seem to coming at the relationship as if it were a done deal (such as the quickness of the kiss in F&F). Rather than that, why not try exploring why these two people (Susan/Doc or Susan/Link) mean so much to each other, how they came to have these feelings?

good story

That was adorable.

Nicely done. I really like the character development. Here's hoping for more!