GOOD STORY LOL TOTODILE x AZURILL?

Dude.

Why did he name it Banana? Because it's yellow?

Chet's a murderer.

Tell chet never to narrate in verse again. He's showing his old colors, and those colors don't deserve to exist.

And hooray for Hoodie, I missed her from the old story. Not aure about the acronym you're using for her.

chet's an interesting poet. and hooray for the hoodied girl. she seems so politoadinous.

First the exposition is useless a lot of times. There are times your putting in exposition that is already completely obvious to the reader, and it's far too random and out of left field most of the time.

You also lack any consistency. You kept doing that "Kanto's Will" thing. Why say that if you're not gonna say "Johto's Neptune"? It's annoying as fuck.

If this is what the rewrite is like, then I'm wondering what the original was like.

this one was twice as long as the other ones, and huzzah! jakey has eaten his first gym battle! many more to come, i'm sure.

You are an idiot, but not knowing how to update your story has got nothing to do with that.

Interesting turn of events. I'm sure they'd make some cute and impossible babies in the future. My goodness this chapter. Mad applause, brother. Mad applause.

I hear wedding bells ringing back from the future.

That's really quite amazingly tender, is this really how Jakey's supposed to be. I'm not complaining, this kind of thing is leagues healthier than their relationship before, but thr contrast is rather disorienting.

I kinda wish you still had my old chapters up just so I could compare the two.

Jakey got spanked this round. Probably wants some ointment for that. Ouch.

we shall feel sorry for jakey, who lost. he is much the fine lad. we will mourn. he's not dead, but we will mourn.

Well this is a bit more of a change than I was expecting. What else? Next you'll tell me that Jakey doesn't actually hate Chet? You're missing the point!

I can actually review this one. That's coincidental. Haven't been able to do so for the past few chapters. Let's hope it won't be too long before I can post again.

Jakey's big first Gym Battle is coming up. I'm super excited for the little guy. Him and Chet are so much nicer together now that they're kinda getting a long. I wanted to say last chapter that the new set up between the two is cool. I'm liking this new take, and wish him the best of luck against Falkner. Break a leg, Boyee.